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  • #106
    Re: ALL ABOARD - The HELL Train!!

    Originally posted by Curious Agnostic View Post



    CHOO CHOO

    Enjoy your shiny new infractions and your place on the HELL TRAIN!

    Choo Choot!
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    • #107
      Re: ALL ABOARD - The HELL Train!!

      Originally posted by Offcr. Albert Martin View Post
      This reminds me of a True Christian™ party several years ago at which somebody spiked the fruit punch, and a majority of the attendees formed a conga line, and as a consequence I had to beat several of the ladies with my cane for excessive swiveling of the hips. That was a fun party.

      Comment

      • #108
        Re: ALL ABOARD - The HELL Train!!

        Originally posted by Old Man Hatchet View Post
        This reminds me of a True Christian™ party several years ago at which somebody spiked the fruit punch, and a majority of the attendees formed a conga line, and as a consequence I had to beat several of the ladies with my cane for excessive swiveling of the hips. That was a fun party.
        Hello Uncle Hatchet.
        Why is everybody talking to the nasty pleesmun?

        Comment

        • #109
          Re: ALL ABOARD - The HELL Train!!

          Originally posted by Little Miss Talitha View Post
          Hello Uncle Hatchet.
          Why is everybody talking to the nasty pleesmun?

          Hi Talitha!

          Have you seen My Dad on this train? Why is he going to Hell?

          I'm scared, I don't wanna go to Hell either.

          Let's get off here and go plat Bobbing for Jesus or Pin-the-Tail-on-Satan.
          ****** I'm trying to find my real Dad. Have you seen Father Martin or Offcr Martin?
          If yes, please contact me at LiLTimmy@yahoo.com. *****

          Comment

          • #110
            Re: ALL ABOARD - The HELL Train!!

            Cattle Truck Class:
            Last edited by Ezekiel Bathfire; 05-24-2008, 09:08 PM.
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            “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

            Author of such illuminating essays as,
            Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

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            • #111
              Re: ALL ABOARD - The HELL Train!!

              Originally posted by Little Miss Talitha View Post
              Hello Uncle Hatchet.
              Why is everybody talking to the nasty pleesmun?

              He's like someone with a harelip eating soup. He's difficult to ignore, little one.

              Comment

              • #112
                Re: ALL ABOARD - The HELL Train!!

                Woooot wooooooooot!!

                She almost missed the train .... BECAUSE SHE'S DEAF AND BLIND!

                Someone show this Keller retard to her seat! ... Ding Ding Ding! ... and we're off again!!

                Click image for larger version Name: kellertard.JPG Views: 1 Size: 9.7 KB ID: 1903290

                Choo-Choo! Chug-chug-chug-chug-chug-chug-chug!!

                On and on rolls the train to Hell! Glory!

                Comment

                • #113
                  Re: ALL ABOARD - The HELL Train!!

                  Originally posted by Offcr. Albert Martin View Post



                  ALL ABOARD! CHOOOOOOOCHOOOOOO!
                  [/B]
                  I noticed that you left my photograph off of your imaginary line up of the hellbound. Does that mean you acknowledge that I'm bound for Glory, or is it just that you kept my photograph to fire your homosexural lusts. Because you wouldn't be the first queer to be lusting after my manly Christian physique.
                  Who Will Jesus Damn?

                  Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                  Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                  Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                  Comment

                  • #114
                    Re: ALL ABOARD - The HELL Train!!

                    Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                    I noticed that you left my photograph off of your imaginary line up of the hellbound. Does that mean you acknowledge that I'm bound for Glory, or is it just that you kept my photograph to fire your homosexural lusts. Because you wouldn't be the first queer to be lusting after my manly Christian physique.

                    Because we have our own very special car on the train! It only seats four. Of course it a few cars before the crowded one.

                    ALL ABOARD - The HELL Train!! - The Landover Baptist Church Forum
                    http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showpost.php?p=170633&postcount=68
                    A place for True Christians to join in praise, faith and fellowship.
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                    • #115
                      Re: ALL ABOARD - The HELL Train!!

                      Originally posted by BibleThumpinBlonde View Post
                      Because we have our own very special car on the train! It only seats four. Of course it a few cars before the crowded one.

                      http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showp...3&postcount=68
                      Why that dirty little papist slaphead! I should ban him for that!
                      Who Will Jesus Damn?

                      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                      Comment

                      • #116
                        Re: ALL ABOARD - The HELL Train!!

                        Originally posted by BibleThumpinBlonde View Post
                        Because we have our own very special car on the train! It only seats four. Of course it a few cars before the crowded one.

                        http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showp...3&postcount=68
                        Now I don't feel special... I wanted to sit by Zeke... oh, and you, Sister Thumper.
                        Bringing Geology back to Christ!

                        I believe Dr. Hovind to be completely innocent of the alleged crime of "tax evasion", and furthermore believe Hovind's 10 year sentence to be patently unjust and based upon an effort to silence his ministry.

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                        • #117
                          Re: ALL ABOARD - The HELL Train!!

                          Originally posted by SanzSolo View Post
                          Now I don't feel special... I wanted to sit by Zeke... oh, and you, Sister Thumper.
                          Brother, you are part of LBC's family. Of course you are special and of course there is always room for you to sit beside ME or Zeke.

                          ~~~~ pats chair~~~~ Come, sit down. Let me help you take a load off.
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                          • #118
                            Re: ALL ABOARD - The HELL Train!!

                            Originally posted by SanzSolo View Post
                            Now I don't feel special... I wanted to sit by Zeke... oh, and you, Sister Thumper.
                            Don't worry Brother, Officer Hellbound is the only one in that particular car. We will be Raptured up to Heaven any day now, sitting up in the clouds, sipping a cold beer with Jesus, and having a good laugh while watching all these hateful papists be peeled alive down in hell. Personally, I can't wait.

                            Unfortunately, it isn't clear whether sister Thumper will be joining us. Sure, she has devoted her life to Christ (and me), but the question is, does she have a soul? Frankly, I doubt it.
                            Who Will Jesus Damn?

                            Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                            Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                            Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                            Comment

                            • #119
                              Re: ALL ABOARD - The HELL Train!!

                              Originally posted by BibleThumpinBlonde View Post
                              Whooot Whoooot

                              ALL ABOARD!

                              Their HELL will be being force fed Ham Sammiches and high fat treats and not being able to throw them back up.

                              LMAOWJ! GLORY!

                              Enjoy HELL Bean Poles!
                              Jesus, those Olsen twins have always weirded me out, but that pic is the creep de la creep!
                              Mark 16:17 And these attesting signs will accompany those who believe: in My Name they will drive out demons.

                              1 Kings 21:14 Then they sent to Jezebel, saying, Naboth is stoned . . .

                              A SPIRITUAL WARFARE PRAYER:
                               Father, In Jesus' Name, I take the Blood of Jesus and break the power of all witches, warlocks, wizards, satanists, sorcerers, wiccans, pagans, and any other source, and all of their rituals off of us. With the Blood of Jesus, I erase all evil lines drawn on our liver. . .
                              LANDOVER BAPTIST DEMON HUNTING PERMIT #00666-27

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                              • #120
                                Re: ALL ABOARD - The HELL Train!!

                                Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                                Don't worry Brother, Officer Hellbound is the only one in that particular car. We will be Raptured up to Heaven any day now, sitting up in the clouds, sipping a cold beer with Jesus, and having a good laugh while watching all these hateful papists be peeled alive down in hell. Personally, I can't wait.

                                Unfortunately, it isn't clear whether sister Thumper will be joining us. Sure, she has devoted her life to Christ (and me), but the question is, does she have a soul? Frankly, I doubt it.
                                THERE IS NO RAPTURE! When Jesus comes again, "He will come again in glory to judge the living and the dead, and His Kingdom will have no end."

                                That's the only time He's coming back. And time will end, and eternity will begin.
                                Former member of a church which I cannot dare mention-Now a spiritual free agent-could LBC be the way for me?

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