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  • Daisy Mae Johnson
    The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
    Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
    aka the Biblethumpin Blonde
    True Christian™
    • Sep 2006
    • 15708
    #1

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Brother Professor!

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
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    • Irinka the repentant jewess
      Forum Member
      Forum Member
      • Oct 2012
      • 359
      #2
      Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Brother Professor!

      Have the happiest of all birthdays, professor! May you experience God's peace and joy today! Many blessed returns.
      In Him,
      Irinka
      Joshua 1:6: "Bee strong, and of a good courage: for vnto this people shalt thou diuide for an inheritance the land which I sware vnto their fathers to giue them".

        Comment

        • James Hutchins
          True Christian™
          Just a Regular Nice Guy
           
          • Jun 2009
          • 29457
          #3
          Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Brother Professor!

          My Dear Professor, Happy Birthday!
          I want to thank you for the intervention you performed a few years back on one of my boys that God told was choosing to become a Homersexualizer. It tore me up leaving him at your office for those six months, but I was secure in the knowledge that you would personally see to it that my boy would not want to engage in rectal sex with another man.
          So, as a surprise, my son is coming to visit you again and will be treating you to a luxury weekend at the Vegas Bellagio, anything you want is on him. So take advantage of my boy. Have a very Happy Birthday.
          Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
          Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
          Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
          Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
          Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
          Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

            Comment

            • GodBlessUs
              Unsaved trash
               
              • Apr 2013
              • 28
              #4
              Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Brother Professor!

              I hope you have a happy birthday, Professor!

                Comment

                • Cranky Old Man
                  Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah
                  You kids get off his lawn!
                   
                  • Jan 2010
                  • 22380
                  #5
                  Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Brother Professor!

                  Happy Birthday!

                  I have collected that large batch of animals you asked for so you could do more experiments disproving evolution. If I remember correctly you smash in their skulls with a hammer to see if they evolve helmets?
                  5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
                  To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
                  James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

                    Comment

                    • Pastor Ed Lowman
                      Southern Hospitality Exemplified
                      Always kind and loving
                      True Christian™
                      • Sep 2011
                      • 1838
                      #6
                      Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Brother Professor!

                      Happy B-day, Professor.

                      Even the petri dishes quake at your arrival in any lab!

                        Comment

                        • Mary Etheldreda
                          Gushing for Jesus
                           
                          • Sep 2011
                          • 23775
                          #7
                          Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Brother Professor!

                          May the LORD grant you a most Blessed Birthday, Brother Professor! You are an inspiration to all fine, young men.

                          Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

                            Comment

                            • Basilissa
                              South of the Border outreach program
                              True Christian™
                               
                              • Mar 2013
                              • 12997
                              #8
                              Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Brother Professor!

                              Happy birthday, Professor!

                              I hope you enjoyed the cake I baked for you:

                              God created fossils to test our faith.

                              * * *

                              My favorite LBC sermons:
                              True Christians are Perfect!
                              True Christian™ Love.
                              Salvation™ made Easy!
                              You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
                              Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
                              Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
                               Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
                              Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
                              The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
                              Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
                              God HATES Rational Thinking!
                              True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.

                                Comment

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