Santorum: There Is No Such Thing As A Liberal Christian

[Gabriel Reproba]

In a deft display of logic combined with non-abstract thinking, Rick Santorum summed up True Christianity™ today for all the world to see and understand.

From Mr. Santorum's mouth to God's ears:

"I don't think there is such a thing," he said of Obama as a liberal Christian. "To take what is plainly written and say that 'I don't agree with that, therefore I don't have to pay attention to it,' means you're not what you say you are. You're a liberal something, but you're not a Christian."

EAXACTLY! It is like I always say...being a Christian is so easy, even a retard can do it:

1) Read the Bible
2) Agree with it 100% and believe it is all real
3) Prophet (Just a little Jesus joke, there!)

With the quote above, we can be confident that Santorum will work to enact laws that will keep women in their place, export the gays and jews, and bring about the Apocalypse, just as Jesus tells us to do. Just remember, when it comes to thinking for yourself, nothing is less Christian!

[SUV]

Re: Santorum: There Is No Such Thing As A Liberal Christian

Oh! I just love Brother Sanatarium SO MUCH! If he isn't elected, I'm going to Weep even more than Jesus did!

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Santorum: There Is No Such Thing As A Liberal Christian

He may be a ring-kissing, Mary-worshiping, Pope-obeying Papist, but Rick Sanatorium does have a few things going for him!

I do want to ask him how he can call himself a Christian, when he's a Catholic?

[Jedediah]

Re: Santorum: There Is No Such Thing As A Liberal Christian

I do want to ask him how he can call himself a Christian, when he's a Catholic?

I firmly believe he will come around. He shows all the hallmarks of a True Christian™; he just needs a little guidance to understand why he must repent of his Mary worship. Also, it seems that Jesus knew a day like this would come, so He provided us with an out clause:

John 10:16
And other sheep I have, which are not of this fold: them also I must bring, and they shall hear my voice; and there shall be one fold, and one shepherd.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Santorum: There Is No Such Thing As A Liberal Christian

I do want to ask him how he can call himself a Christian, when he's a Catholic?

Amen brother. While I agree that there is no such thing as a "liberal Christian," it is equally true that there is no such thing as a "Catholic Christain" or a "Mormon Christian." Ditto "gay Christian."

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Santorum: There Is No Such Thing As A Liberal Christian

I believe Santorum takes the firmest position in resisting anal penetration of all the Republican candidates. I believe he has internalized God's will in this respect at least, whether or not he also idolizes Mary and the saints.

Rick will stick it to the homers in a way they have never been stuck before; Rick Santorum will fight the War on Sodomy. I am not a single issue voter, but I have my priorities, and Rick shares them. We care about the freedom of the market, sure, and the War on Terror, of course, but we can only be victorious in these arenas once we eradicate anal sex. How can we concentrate on nuking Iran when there are a million huge, sweaty bears pumping spunk into eachother's butts in the background?

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Santorum: There Is No Such Thing As A Liberal Christian

How can we concentrate on nuking Iran when there are a million huge, sweaty bears pumping spunk into eachother's butts in the background?

A MILLION?!

[Good Christian Woman]

Re: Santorum: There Is No Such Thing As A Liberal Christian

Oh, perhaps there's hope for him after all. Maybe we True Christians could make it our mission to witness to Rick Santorum, and put him on the right path, so he can get rid of the homers and liberals for good.

[Holyfield]

Re: Santorum: There Is No Such Thing As A Liberal Christian

But I think that Chuck Norris pointed out something important; Why did Santorum support Romney in 2008, especially when there were more conservative candidates like McCain and Huckabee?

Maybe Santorum can talk the talk, but can he walk the walk? Are his foundations rock solid?

Matt 7:25 "And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock."

Can a catholic in the White House resist phone-calls from the pope?
- "I, the vicar of you-know-who, demand an invasion of Freehold."

[SUV]

Re: Santorum: There Is No Such Thing As A Liberal Christian

I do want to ask him how he can call himself a Christian, when he's a Catholic?

Not to even mention the homer! moron "Catcher's" Mitt Romney

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Santorum: There Is No Such Thing As A Liberal Christian

I am, as you all are, reminded of the Prohet Isaiah who, inspired by God, spoke these words:

Isa:32:5: The vile person shall be no more called liberal, nor the churl said to be bountiful.
Isa:32:6: For the vile person will speak villany, and his heart will work iniquity, to practise hypocrisy, and to utter error against the LORD, to make empty the soul of the hungry, and he will cause the drink of the thirsty to fail.
Isa:32:7: The instruments also of the churl are evil: he deviseth wicked devices to destroy the poor with lying words, even when the needy speaketh right.
Isa:32:8: But the liberal deviseth liberal things; and by liberal things shall he stand.

We see in v32:5 that people go around calling people who are truly vile, "liberals". In v6, we see what sort of a person a vile liberal is. and in v8, the character is summed up - he is vile and will keep maintaining the vileness.

God, Who only wishes to show His Mercy and Love will afflict Obama with all these things and more besides:

De:28:15: But it shall come to pass, if thou wilt not hearken unto the voice of the LORD thy God, to observe to do all his commandments and his statutes which I command thee this day; that all these curses shall come upon thee, and overtake thee:
De:28:21: The LORD shall make the pestilence cleave unto thee, until he have consumed thee from off the land, whither thou goest to possess it.
De:28:22: The LORD shall smite thee with a consumption, and with a fever, and with an inflammation, and with an extreme burning, and with the sword, and with blasting, and with mildew; and they shall pursue thee until thou perish.
De:28:23: And thy heaven that is over thy head shall be brass, and the earth that is under thee shall be iron.
De:28:24: The LORD shall make the rain of thy land powder and dust: from heaven shall it come down upon thee, until thou be destroyed.
De:28:25: The LORD shall cause thee to be smitten before thine enemies: thou shalt go out one way against them, and flee seven ways before them: and shalt be removed into all the kingdoms of the earth.
De:28:26: And thy carcase shall be meat unto all fowls of the air, and unto the beasts of the earth, and no man shall fray them away.
De:28:27: The LORD will smite thee with the botch of Egypt, and with the emerods, and with the scab, and with the itch, whereof thou canst not be healed.
De:28:28: The LORD shall smite thee with madness, and blindness, and astonishment of heart:

And, as always, God is Just and Right.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Santorum: There Is No Such Thing As A Liberal Christian

A MILLION?!

That is a conservative estimate. The reality of rampant rectal ravaging at home and abroad is actually much worse than that. Anal sex has become so common that the methane produced is the cause of the climate change illusion. The wholly offensive practice of poo pounding is literally booming, as colons rupture and sphincters are ripped and torn asunder world wide by gigantic Negro members. This trend will probably continue until Jesus returns and sends everyone involved to Hell.

[VictoryOS]

Re: Santorum: There Is No Such Thing As A Liberal Christian

This trend will probably continue until Jesus returns and sends everyone involved to Hell.

SING PRAISE! I can't wait for that day to arrive! Jesus will come in his own sweet time, but oh how I wish he would come now!

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Santorum: There Is No Such Thing As A Liberal Christian

The wholly offensive practice of poo pounding is literally booming, as colons rupture and sphincters are ripped and torn asunder world wide by gigantic Negro members.

I had no idea, Brother! This is all very disturbing. I just can't believe it's true! I mean, how could a man fit one of those into . . . there?

[WWJDnow]

Re: Santorum: There Is No Such Thing As A Liberal Christian

Can a catholic in the White House resist phone-calls from the pope?

Of course not. But can a Mormon resist calls from the Mormon "prophet?" Can Obama resist calls from his ayatollah or his political commisar? We have to make the best of a bad lot, and Rick Santorum shows all the signs of someone who wants to break the chains of the Satanic Catholic church and become a real Christian. He just can't do it before the election. Anyway, if we True Christians™ all pray for him, I'm sure God will point Rick Santorum down the righteous path.