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  • Pastor Ezekiel
    Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
     
    • Sep 2006
    • 78555
    #1

    Rick Santorum Wants Your CUM!

    Shout GLORY! Rick Santorum has launched a wildly successful new campaign to raise money for Conservative causes, and in his inspired wisdom he has chosen to call it C.U.M. (Conservatives Unite Moneybomb). I'm glad to see that Mr. Santorum is greasing the hinges of his campaign war chest with CUM.

    If he wasn't a Mary worshiping papist I'd send him a million myself.
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
    Tags: None
    • Rapture Eddie
      The Sermonator
      True Christian™
      • Mar 2008
      • 219
      #2
      Re: Rick Santorum Wants Your CUM!

      Mary Worshiper or not, I've been over and left a large deposit.

      Very satisfying it was too.
      JUDGEMENT DAY

      sigpic

      "I'll Be Back!!"

        Comment

        • Jedediah
          True Christian™ Creation Scientist
          Fisher of Men
          True Christian™
          • Feb 2010
          • 6824
          #3
          Re: Rick Santorum Wants Your CUM!

          I dropped a sizeable load on him, but he won't return my calls.
          II Thessalonians 1:7-9
          And to you who are troubled rest with us, when the Lord Jesus shall be revealed from heaven with his mighty angels,
          In flaming fire taking vengeance on them that know not God, and that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ:
          Who shall be punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord, and from the glory of his power
          The man who is being progressively sanctified will inescapably sanctify his home, school, politics, economics, science, and all things else by understanding and interpreting all things in terms of the Word of God and by bringing all things under the Dominion of Christ the King. -R.J. Rushdoony

            Comment

            • Alphonse Alban
              Apostle to the Samites and Laplander Eskimos.
               
              • Feb 2011
              • 5724
              #4
              Re: Rick Santorum Wants Your CUM!

              Do you think I could mail him some cash? I keep most of my money as cash in my home as I do not trust banks. I got roll of bills right here and I think I could send him nice big chunk of my wad.

                Comment

                • Felicity
                  As pure and virginal as the driven snow.
                  True Christian™
                  • Apr 2010
                  • 4834
                  #5
                  Re: Rick Santorum Wants Your CUM!

                  My father says I can not give him any CUM, he won't say why , so instead I pray to Jesus that all Americans will generously give their CUM to Santorum!
                  I Jesus!

                    Comment

                    • Cranky Old Man
                      Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah
                      You kids get off his lawn!
                       
                      • Jan 2010
                      • 22369
                      #6
                      Re: Rick Santorum Wants Your CUM!

                      I am too old for this but I commanded all my sons to give CUM for Santorum generously! I am certain if we all CUM for Santorum there will be a lot less abortions in America!
                      5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
                      To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
                      James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

                        Comment

                        • Holyfield
                          Forum Member
                          Forum Member
                          • Apr 2011
                          • 245
                          #7
                          Re: Rick Santorum Wants Your CUM!

                          Does he accept gold or food?
                          Matt 5:17-20 "Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil. For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled. Whosoever therefore shall break one of these least commandments, and shall teach men so, he shall be called the least in the kingdom of heaven:..."

                            Comment

                            • Rev. M. Rodimer
                              Honorary True Christian™
                              Forum Member
                              • May 2008
                              • 13996
                              #8
                              Re: Rick Santorum Wants Your CUM!

                              I'm not sure about this. Do we really want to give a Catholic our CUM injection?
                              Bible boring? Nonsense!
                              Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
                              You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

                                Comment

                                • Titus Templeton
                                  Director of the German "Holy-caust" Evangelical Crusade
                                  Jesus macht frei
                                  True Christian™
                                  • Aug 2010
                                  • 5912
                                  #9
                                  Re: Rick Santorum Wants Your CUM!

                                  Sweet Jesus. The Lord has already blessed him with 16,933,953 $
                                  -The Parable of the white laundry and the black man
                                  -Scientific proof that GAY SEX IS UNHYGIENIC!
                                  -Holocaust Jokes
                                  -Diarrhea: The Va​ginal Lubrication of the Homosexuals
                                  -Anne Frank vs. Adolf Hitler: Who was the worse person?
                                  -10 Reasons why GOD HATES FRANCE!
                                  -5 Reasons why GOD HATES LEAGUE OF LEGENDS!
                                  -Today I am declaring War against Woman's Rights!

                                    Comment

                                    • Rev. M. Rodimer
                                      Honorary True Christian™
                                      Forum Member
                                      • May 2008
                                      • 13996
                                      #10
                                      Re: Rick Santorum Wants Your CUM!

                                      Originally posted by Titus Templeton View Post
                                      Sweet Jesus. The Lord has already blessed him with 16,933,953 $
                                      That's quite a bucket of CUM for Santorum!
                                      Bible boring? Nonsense!
                                      Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
                                      You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

                                        Comment

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