[Alvin Moss]

Re: 2016 Witch Hunt!

I don't bring this action to make enemies, but rather to ensure safety for yours and other communities.

Mr. Hezekiah, we hold these annual hunts precisely for the purpose you mention. We hunt witches for the same reason that our ancestors hunted dangerous wild animals, outlaw gangs and renegade Negroes. They were all a danger to society at large and witches are still a grave danger. Witches are known to be sly and difficult to catch. By covering large and diverse areas simultaneously, we are better able to track them down and dispatch them. I see nothing at all wrong with making these necessary hunts into a festive occasion. FYI- There have been suggestions that we hold an annual Jew hunt as well, but no one has seen a Jew in our part of Iowa since 1951.

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: 2016 Witch Hunt!

I'd just suggest that Mr Hezekiah keeps his womenfolk indoors for the duration. What with the fright wigs and the noses, we don't want any cases of mistaken identity.

[Anne Sayne]

Re: 2016 Witch Hunt!

I wish I could come, but I am too far from Iowa. I'm a woman anyways so I wouldn't be able to hunt. Best of luck with your hunting, though!

[BrotherLarry]

Re: 2016 Witch Hunt!

I wish I could come, but I am too far from Iowa. I'm a woman anyways so I wouldn't be able to hunt. Best of luck with your hunting, though!

Annie,


I am thinking there may be some lights missing from your chandelier. I'm a little miffed with you for more than one reason. First let me educate you about Freehold.


It is a gated community with heavy security, including cameras, dogs, and trained police who are all ex-military, full of the Holy Ghost, and will shoot a non-True Christian(TM) on sight if they attempt to enter the compound - um - chartered community.


Even if you lived five minutes from there, you wouldn't be able to participate. Maybe some day you shall. Maybe someday a fish will sprout wings and go about the earth from one edge to the other edge until it locates Amelia Earhart.


The entrance to the city is on a major thoroughfare called the Flint Expressway. About a half mile from the gates, the expressway divides. The Flint continues on the right, while the name of the highway changes on the left to Unsaved Trash Parkway. (Matthew 25:33-34) Without the proper ID, anyone trying to enter the Community is frisked, the car searched, and then they are sent on their way by escort until they are once again on Unsaved Trash Parkway, where cameras continue to watch them.


Now that we have settled that matter, here's another issue: Not once, but twice, one of my friends has tried to meet up with your husband at that boat factory thingy to offer a hand in friendship and protection - just for you. The first day, instead of turning toward the factory, your husband went to an establishment called "The Satin Lady," which appears to be a large club where harlots remove their clothing to the delight of the demon possessed audience. He was there for seven hours. (I have video)


The second time, your precious husband checked in to a Motel 6 along with, I assume, his sister or aunt or cousin. Again, he was there for 7 hours. The problem with both of these scenarios is that there were so many people around, my friend couldn't properly have the encounter that he'd planned so my intention was foiled. (The intention to offer protection and friendship)


This, after disabling the power-consuming security cameras at the boat manufacturing facility via smartphone (my friend is very energy conscious). Both of these other establishments had cameras all over the place. How can I take care of your husband if he goes places where he's not expected to be? Don't bother telling him about this, because it will probably just create trust issues and we can't have that. It might further complicate my attempts to keep him safe. However, if you want the video I can put it on a flash drive and have it delivered overnight.


I am praying for you but wondering if the Lord is just shaking his head and asking, "Why?"


COME LORD JESUS!
BrotherLarry

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: 2016 Witch Hunt!

Unfortunately my chainsaw broke down. It's only 37 years old so I suspect a Mexican has been tampering with it. As soon as it is repaired I will be hunting witches again.

I'm a woman

There is no need to tear yourself down. I am certain you have some mediocre skills that give your life a false sense of usefulness. Now please go serve your husband as commanded by Jesus.

[James Hutchins]

Re: 2016 Witch Hunt!

I sent in a check a week ago and never heard back. I have assume the Church office is swamped with applications due to the recent influx of easy mooslime targets.
Will we be able to use mines this year? The little ones that have a hard time controlling a AR15. Ever seen a Black Pearlescent S500 riddled, it is not pretty and I only had 800 miles on it, I hope the Church was able to use it and I thank the office for the deed of transfers for tax purposes valuing it at $500K)

I am looking forward to a bountiful Witch hunt and while I hope to win the body count, I do wish you all luck. Remember, it is all for Jesus and the Republican way of life.

[Alvin Moss]

Re: 2016 Witch Hunt!

Last year, I tried to get fancy and used only bow and arrow. That was a complete failure. This year, I will be using the trusty HK .308. I am expecting excellent results and I expect to be a contender for the prize.

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: 2016 Witch Hunt!

I sent in a check a week ago and never heard back. I have assume the Church office is swamped with applications due to the recent influx of easy mooslime targets.

I know this is not the place to mention it, but can anyone tell me what is going on in the Church office? It was bad enough when that June woman took over from Cookie, but now there seems to be nobody there at all. I'd call the office and ask, but all calls go straight to voicemail.

[Michael Hezekiah Esq]

Re: 2016 Witch Hunt!

I don't know why you're all preparing for something that isn't going to happen. The Court is preparing an injunction to stop the hunt and yet you are all blindly just sending your money and expecting things to go on.


Tell me what group of people lives their lives preparing and expecting an event so ludicrous? What group just blindly follows whatever someone says and ignores the evidence to the contrary?


I'm reminded of my neighbor's children who kept expecting their father to come back after he died. People told these kids that if they did everything their mom told them to, he would come for them one day. So what do these kids do? They go to temple on the Sabbath, they do everything mother says, they accept empty promises and believe it will happen just because mom wants to control their behavior. Mom threatens to give them punishments if they don't do everything they're told, even saying when dad comes back he'll be very angry and send them away forever.


The guy died, for pete's sake.


What some people won't do for control. But I digress. Stop wasting your time planning. Go for a walk. Get out of Freehold for a weekend or a week. See how the real world lives.


M. Hezekiah, Esq.
Atty at Law

[Titus Templeton]

Re: 2016 Witch Hunt!

I've ordered a GoPro just for this year's witch hunt. Might make a little documentation out of it.

[handmaiden]

Re: 2016 Witch Hunt!

My best to all who partake in this event. As usual, circumstances have barred me from personal participation, but I will be with you all in prayer. Because we all know that prayer is real and effective, I, too, will be storing up treasure in Heaven for this Godly Work.

In an effort to offer some practical assistance, I do wish to point out that the Devil's Concubines are starting ever younger.







Pray and take careful aim, True Christians™. This one has a very knowing gleam in her eyes.


Discerningly Yours,


Handmaiden

[Brother Harold Porter]

Re: 2016 Witch Hunt!

I have bagged almost half of this group of filthy witches. I used explosives this year, as God has no restriction on the means of riddance of the vermin.


Exodus 22:18 "Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live."


I trust that I have finally won the tournament? I think if I do not win I have been robbed and it has been rigged to keep me from my deserved title?


Only losers and tremendous liars could keep me from my title. The overwhelming and many, many people that agree with me.. and they are worth many billions of dollars... and they said that I caught the MOST witches, and with such outstanding skill. They could have.. they said that I was the most aggressive and best man they ever met.


Bill Clinton could NEVER have bagged so many witches.


Vote for BHP, or you are a total loser.

[Michael Hezekiah Esq]

Re: 2016 Witch Hunt!

From the Office of the State Attorney General

To all for whom come these presents: GREETING:

The State of Iowa has declared an injunction against the 2016 Witch Hunt as announced by the Landover Baptist Church, Freehold Iowa. No person or persons shall be permitted to conduct any such "hunt" now nor in the future without the express ruling of the Supreme Court of the State of Iowa. All shall be prosecuted who violate this injuction.

As Attorney General's Representative:

Andrea Jobblestein-Mahovak
Atty. at Law
In Des Moines, Iowa, this 10th day of October, 2016

[Alvin Moss]

Re: 2016 Witch Hunt!

From the Office of the State Attorney General

To all for whom come these presents: GREETING:

The State of Iowa has declared an injunction against the 2016 Witch Hunt as announced by the Landover Baptist Church, Freehold Iowa. No person or persons shall be permitted to conduct any such "hunt" now nor in the future without the express ruling of the Supreme Court of the State of Iowa. All shall be prosecuted who violate this injuction.

As Attorney General's Representative:

Andrea Jobblestein-Mahovak
Atty. at Law
In Des Moines, Iowa, this 10th day of October, 2016

The LORD has established His throne in the heavens, And His sovereignty rules over all.- Psalm 103:19. It is God who rules the heavens and the Earth. Your case is dismissed, Mr. Hezekiah.

[I_want_God_in_me]

Re: 2016 Witch Hunt!

I am trying to meet new people in my area would you want to witch hunt with me?