WITCH HUNT 2009!

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Guess what TIME it is?!?

Yes, Folks it's that time of year again! Time to kill and maim witches and gothtards!

I'm sure you all remember the rules....but I'll list them again for the new folks.

1. To prove a kill you must submit genitals, teeth, ears or fingers or toes to the Pastors if you cannot bring in the entire body.

2. Severely maiming will get you points, but it's not as good as a kill.

We want PICTURES this year! With all the cameras nowadays on cell phones and what not this should be easy and imagine all the belly laughs we will get looking at the scared faces on the witches and gothtards!

Now get out there and get us some witches and earn ya some awards!

P/S: You'll need a permit, they are now available in the Church Lobby. (Thank you for reminding me Brother PBR)

http://www.cafepress.com/landoverbaptist.77076226

Have fun!

Post your results here!!!

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: WITCH HUNT 2009!

What are the dates for the Witch Hunt this year?

I am so looking forward to coming to Freehold and spending some quality time out in the woods with Bobby-Joe, Zeke, and the boys, polishing our guns over a beer, telling wild witnessing tales and generally having a grand old time!

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: WITCH HUNT 2009!

Can we get credits for converting unsaved wiccan young women and turning them into obedient servants of the Lord? Seems like we should get double the points because not only do we get rid of a witch, we also create a Christian out of the process.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: WITCH HUNT 2009!

What are the dates for the Witch Hunt this year?

I am so looking forward to coming to Freehold and spending some quality time out in the woods with Bobby-Joe, Zeke, and the boys, polishing our guns over a beer, telling wild witnessing tales and generally having a grand old time!

October 1st - November 5th. That should be enough time to drag the bodies in.

It's already pretty chilly here. Be sure and bring warm hunting garb and GOOD LUCK!

I've seen a few witch coven hiding in the top of the trees already this Season. I bet it's going to be an easy one.

[Pastor Billy-Reuben]

Re: WITCH HUNT 2009!

October 1st - November 5th. That should be enough time to drag the bodies in.

Witch hunting season doesn't start until October 10th here in NC, so y'all up in Iowa get a head start! No Fair!

Actually, bow season starts today, but I'm terrible with a bow and I would just be wasting my time and possibly endangering my fellow hunters.

Anyway, I just got my permit in the mail yesterday, so I'm chomping at the bit. Starting Saturday morning I'm going to go ahead and start baiting the field out behind my house with tempeh and incense. I've also discovered that if I'm wearing a little bit of patchouli, they'll let me sneak up real close to them. If you try that tactic be careful because a little bit goes a really long way and it smells like a mixture of pot, urine, and foot odor.

Pastor Billy-Reuben

[Talitha]

Re: WITCH HUNT 2009!

I wonder if they'll let me count Vegans this season?
I caught a couple in the crossfire last year. They seem to run a bit faster than the average Wiccan

[eliot mayfield]

Re: WITCH HUNT 2009!

We don't get to hunt them until April over here. That's when they're in rut.

[Nobar King]

Re: WITCH HUNT 2009!

Maybe someone can come take care of the witch that lives next door? I would do it, but I would be the first suspect due to our little feud.

[Isabella Abbey]

Re: WITCH HUNT 2009!

Now, just to be clear -- a witch is any female with whom you disagree, of whom you disapprove, or who trounces you in a debate; it's any female who respects natural life, supports rhythmic tradition, or who by chance is nearby when something adverse happens to you.

Is that your quarry??

[Pastor Billy-Reuben]

Re: WITCH HUNT 2009!

Now, just to be clear -- a witch is any female with whom you disagree

No, because that would be all females. I've yet to meet one that didn't need to be constantly corrected.

of whom you disapprove

I disapprove of women who are loose, loud-mouthed, obstinate, and/or quarrelsome, but not all of them are witches.

or who trounces you in a debate;

it's any female who respects natural life,

What?

supports rhythmic tradition,

I'm not sure what that is, and frankly, I don't want to know because it sounds perverse.

or who by chance is nearby when something adverse happens to you.

There are no accidents.

Is that your quarry??

"Witch" means something specific. It means one who practices witchcraft, meaning sorcery, enchantments, and intercourse with the devil.

Pastor Billy-Reuben

[JennyD]

Re: WITCH HUNT 2009!

I wonder how Bobby-Joe's team will do, now that two key members have gone missing!

I hope it doesn't damage their scores. That would be just awful!

[Nash Darkpaw]

Re: WITCH HUNT 2009!

Well, you guys really are insane. lol

[eliot mayfield]

Re: WITCH HUNT 2009!

Well, you guys really are insane. lol

What do mean? Insane for wanting to go to Heaven instead of Hell?

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: WITCH HUNT 2009!

I wonder how Bobby-Joe's team will do, now that two key members have gone missing!

I hope it doesn't damage their scores. That would be just awful!

Still on the missing security members are you Jenny? Seeing as you have this big pile of money you don't suppose your "friends" were just out to impress you killed some locals to make it look like,.. well who knows? I mean heck it is not like you ever meet the full detachment (or even have seen us without our hoods)

Anyway our Brother Leory had a good score to day when he took out a bus full of Mexicans witches over at the fence by the Carson farm. That puts the Security Detachment up by 32 already. Go team!

[Max Van Houten III]

Re: WITCH HUNT 2009!

Do you really kill human being? I hope it's a role playing game...