[True Disciple]

Re: All The Nasty Rumors About Pastor Ezekiel (me)

You mean those rabbits with their behinds expanded to several times their original size? And why were you caught naked while working with them?

Exactly, but Brother, do you have any idea how hot it gets when three incubators around you are constantly working at full power?

And Disciple, really, rabbits? Were the sheep too dominant for you or something?

You please shut your mouth, witch. At least, I have the excuse of incubators around me when I'm slightly less dressed than usual!

Are those the ones TD brought me? They were delicious!

Uhm...did you eat them, Pastor? I thought we decided it was not wise to do that after they were used in the incubator experiments, particularly if they weren't, um, cleaned? You did realize that, didn't you?

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: All The Nasty Rumors About Pastor Ezekiel (me)

What is going on here? Why is everyone badmouthing our beloved Pastor Ezekiel? He is truly a man of God, and I'm quite sure that there's a perfectly innocent explanation for everything (even Brother Jimmy-Roy's rather strange behavior since their witnessing trip to Nevada, particularly every time Pastor Ezekiel comes into the room). Once that perfectly innocent explanation comes out, maybe you people will have a little crow-eating party. Now, if you folks will excuse me, I have to go to my son-in-law's house in a little bit; he's asked me to move some bookshelves for him.

[James Hutchins]

Re: All The Nasty Rumors About Pastor Ezekiel (me)

Pastor Zeke, Brother James H and myself where never in Juarez. We do not know of any animal stories and we were not looking for Beaux. Its best to leave that adventure out of it, the image of Zeke and that damn donkey , Oh my eyes.

I was in Juarez once, back in my mis-spent youth. Never since. I will never go into that Godless country. Every single person there is a wet back messican!!! These days, the closest I get to it is El Paso, with my cattle transport trailer.

The only animal stories I know are about Filet Mignon, Rib Eye and succulent racks. I have never heard of donkey shows.

I do know that the that Slut Cassandras Homer friend. Beaux McAnus was last seen there.

[True Disciple]

Re: All The Nasty Rumors About Pastor Ezekiel (me)

What is going on here? Why is everyone badmouthing our beloved Pastor Ezekiel? He is truly a man of God, and I'm quite sure that there's a perfectly innocent explanation for everything (even Brother Jimmy-Roy's rather strange behavior since their witnessing trip to Nevada, particularly every time Pastor Ezekiel comes into the room). Once that perfectly innocent explanation comes out, maybe you people will have a little crow-eating party. Now, if you folks will excuse me, I have to go to my son-in-law's house in a little bit; he's asked me to move some bookshelves for him.

Amen, dear Pastor! It saddens me deeply that (self-professing) True Christians(tm) spread these kinds of falsehoods against good people.

[Sam Diamond]

Re: All The Nasty Rumors About Pastor Ezekiel (me)

Good afternoon gentlemen, I just received an Email from Mr James Dewitt. He tells me that my services might be required. I recently retired from the Cedar Rapids PD. I was the Chief of Detectives for the past 7 years and I currently a Private Detective. I can assure you that I am able to conduct a completely impartial investigation. Upon completion I can submit in detail my findings to the Church Board. I will ask a reasonable rate per day plus travel and lodging expenses. It does not matter if my investigation takes me across this nation or to foreign lands I can assure you that I will leave no stone unturned. Sam Diamond

[Felicity]

Re: All The Nasty Rumors About Pastor Ezekiel (me)

@Miss Cassandra You are wrong about Levi Jones. He has been helping me a lot lately with Bible Study and he has been nothing but very nice to me. Next Sunday we will be studying #1 Corinthians 7!

[Miss Cassandra]

Re: All The Nasty Rumors About Pastor Ezekiel (me)

@Miss Cassandra You are wrong about Levi Jones. He has been helping me a lot lately with Bible Study and he has been nothing but very nice to me. Next Sunday we will be studying #1 Corinthians 7!

You mean you're already past the Song of Solomon:

Song of Solomon 8:8-10: We have a little sister, and she hath no breasts: what shall we do for our sister in the day when she shall be spoken for? If she be a wall, we will build upon her a palace of silver: and if she be a door, we will inclose her with boards of cedar.
I am a wall, and my breasts like towers: then was I in his eyes as one that found favour.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: All The Nasty Rumors About Pastor Ezekiel (me)

Good afternoon gentlemen, I just received an Email from Mr James Dewitt. He tells me that my services might be required. I recently retired from the Cedar Rapids PD. I was the Chief of Detectives for the past 7 years and I currently a Private Detective. I can assure you that I am able to conduct a completely impartial investigation. Upon completion I can submit in detail my findings to the Church Board. I will ask a reasonable rate per day plus travel and lodging expenses. It does not matter if my investigation takes me across this nation or to foreign lands I can assure you that I will leave no stone unturned. Sam Diamond

Let's have dinner and discuss the case, Sam. Where would you like to eat? We can take the Landover Lear Jet down to Palm Springs and get a nice steak and Ruth's Chris Steakhouse.

[James Dewitt]

Re: All The Nasty Rumors About Pastor Ezekiel (me)

I was in Juarez once, back in my mis-spent youth. Never since. I will never go into that Godless country. Every single person there is a wet back messican!!! These days, the closest I get to it is El Paso, with my cattle transport trailer.

The only animal stories I know are about Filet Mignon, Rib Eye and succulent racks. I have never heard of donkey shows.

I do know that the that Slut Cassandras Homer friend. Beaux McAnus was last seen there.

Like I said we were not in Juarez
Speaking of Beaux, did the driver find the Black Angus steer I had butchered to his liking?

( For Brother Jame H only I did not bring up the donkeys its best if we keep that quiet. Some one could take it the wrong way if they heard Pastor Zeke was ridding a donkey bare back)

[Levi Jones]

Re: All The Nasty Rumors About Pastor Ezekiel (me)

Now, if you folks will excuse me, I have to go to my son-in-law's house in a little bit; he's asked me to move some bookshelves for him.

Again? Didn't you two "move furniture" last week too?

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: All The Nasty Rumors About Pastor Ezekiel (me)

Sure... And what about those weird animal stories we all heard right before project Habakkuk disappeared as if it never existed?

Well, that explains it all right there! After the witnessing, Pastor Ezekiel plans to use all those Thai boys as crew for Project Habakkuk!

And I'm sure the waterfall was a detoxification process. Washing away the radiation, don't you know.

I understand the water flows down toward Jenkins Flats. Brother Nobar may wish to drink bottled water for a time.

Are those the ones TD brought me? They were delicious!

Did you eat them stuffed, Pastor, or stewed?

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: All The Nasty Rumors About Pastor Ezekiel (me)

Did you eat them stuffed, Pastor, or stewed?

I think he is busy puking his guts out for a while now.

[Levi Jones]

Re: All The Nasty Rumors About Pastor Ezekiel (me)

@Miss Cassandra You are wrong about Levi Jones. He has been helping me a lot lately with Bible Study and he has been nothing but very nice to me. Next Sunday we will be studying #1 Corinthians 7!

Amen, Felicity. I might even give you some driving lessons. Have I ever told you how mature you are?

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: All The Nasty Rumors About Pastor Ezekiel (me)

I think he is busy puking his guts out for a while now.

Why? Just because they were gigantic-buttocked Negrabbits?

[Miss Cassandra]

Re: All The Nasty Rumors About Pastor Ezekiel (me)

Have I ever told you how mature you are?

Well, at least we can say that you are in a position to estimate that accurately, given the amount of research you've put into this matter.