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  • MisterM
    replied
    Re: Holocaust Jokes

    Originally posted by Titus Templeton View Post
    The jew falls down with a bullet in his head. Hitler is scared and watches his back. A young jewish boy is smiling and says: "Can i have the 50 cents...?"
    That was so hilarious that I almost relieved myself in my pants. My abs cramped
    from laughing.

    Can I tell this joke to one of my customers? Ben appreciates good laugh.

    Leave a comment:


  • Cursed
    replied
    Re: Holocaust Jokes

    How many jews do you have to work to the bone to make 50,000 nazi tanks?

    About 6 million!

    Leave a comment:


  • Titus Templeton
    replied
    Re: Holocaust Jokes

    Hitler, the pope and a jew making a nice hunting trip in Auschwitz.
    Hitler gives the jew 50 cents and says:" Here this is your money jew, now shoot the pope!"

    The jew sees the money and shoots the pope right in the head. "Money has no smell" the jew says. "Here.." Hitler laughts:" I give you again 50 cents if you shoot yourself or another jew in the head!"

    The jew thinks for a while, then it makes BOOM. The jew falls down with a bullet in his head. Hitler is scared and watches his back. A young jewish boy is smiling and says: "Can i have the 50 cents...?"


    This joke is copyrighted by titus tempelton
    .

    Leave a comment:


  • Cursed
    replied
    Re: Holocaust Jokes

    Why did the nazis make lampshades out of jew skin?

    Because it was too oily to upholster furniture with!

    Leave a comment:


  • wait_what
    replied
    Re: Holocaust Jokes

    Why did the Auschwitz shower heads have 12 holes? Because Jews have 10 fingers!!




    What's the difference between a Jew and a Pizza?

    The pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.
    About $5.65
    You take out the pizza. In one piece.



    Why did so many Jews go to Auschwitz? The fare was free.


    Hitler had a pocket-watch, a very expensive pocket-watch that he recieved from his grandfather, meaning it had a strong emotional value. One day the watch stopped working.
    Hitler gave the watch to Himler and ordered him to have it fixed immediately, so Himler went to the best watchmaker's store which was right at the 3rd Reich street in Berlin - but two weeks later the watchmaker returned the pocket watch, claiming it cannot be fixed.
    Himler then returned to Hitler and said, "mein furher, no watch-maker in this country can fix your watch - but I have heard of one who perhaps can. His name is Yizhak Goldberg, and he's with his whole family in Auchwitz. I was just informed they are about to enter the "showers"!"
    "We shall go and find him straight away!" said Hitler, and so they got into their Folkswagen and drove to Auchwitz.

    They arrived just when the showers' doors were about to close. Running, the ordered the process be stopped, and opened the door once more. "Yizhak Goldberg," they called, "is there a Yizhak Goldberg here?"
    an old, bearded man pushed his way out and said, "yes, I am Yizhak Goldberg." "this is your lucky day, Mr. Goldberg," said Hitler. "I want you to fix this pocket watch, and in reurn, I will release you and you whole family, and award you 2500 Reichsmarks!"
    The old man looks at him sharply, then says: "3000 Reichsmarks and I'll do it."
    Hitler is awed, but then shoots back - "2700."
    "Oh, forget about it, close the door," answers Yizhak.



    I feel kind of bad. My grandfather died in a concentration camp.








    He fell drunken from the watchtower.

    Leave a comment:


  • Greg_the_Cretian
    replied
    Re: Holocaust Jokes

    Originally posted by Zechariah Smyth View Post
    Let's say you were invited somewhere (stay with me) to speak about Intelligent Design, but instead you insisted on talking about something retarded like pastafarianism: would you fault the host(s) for throwing you out of the room?
    Hahahaha, oh, wow. Zechariah, that's quite a blessing you have.

    Not sure how I feel about Holocaust jokes, but I can give it a shot.

    Shouldn't be to grave about these things, a little camp is to be encouraged, I think.

    I've got a Kennedy pun too, if anyone is interested? It'll blow your mind.

    Leave a comment:


  • Zechariah Smyth
    replied
    Re: Holocaust Jokes

    Originally posted by Ilovemaggots View Post
    Specific speech, huh? So that means any jokes against anything non christian (Jews, Muslims, etc.) Is piffleing hilarious, but any jokes against christians IS BLASPHEMY! I'm having wayy to much fun here. Keep this up? I need my daily amusement
    Your reading comprehension leaves much to be desired.

    Let's say you were invited somewhere (stay with me) to speak about Intelligent Design, but instead you insisted on talking about something retarded like pastafarianism: would you fault the host(s) for throwing you out of the room?

    Of course not.

    Yours in Christ,

    Z. Smyth

    Leave a comment:


  • Born Again Bob
    replied
    Re: Holocaust Jokes

    Originally posted by Ilovemaggots View Post
    Specific speech, huh? So that means any jokes against anything non christian (Jews, Muslims, etc.) Is piffleing hilarious, but any jokes against christians IS BLASPHEMY! I'm having wayy to much fun here. Keep this up? I need my daily amusement
    Dear Friend,

    Drop us a postcard from Hell when you get there.

    Yours in Him,
    BAB

    Leave a comment:


  • Ilovemaggots
    replied
    Re: Holocaust Jokes

    Specific speech, huh? So that means any jokes against anything non christian (Jews, Muslims, etc.) Is piffleing hilarious, but any jokes against christians IS BLASPHEMY! I'm having wayy to much fun here. Keep this up? I need my daily amusement

    Leave a comment:


  • Zechariah Smyth
    replied
    Re: Holocaust Jokes

    Originally posted by Ilovemagnets View Post
    So free speech-not allowed? You mad broskis?
    Friend, this thread is the very definition of "free speech" but I should remind you that the specific speech encouraged is defined as "holocaust jokes" and you have not hewn to that directive.

    Please confine your posts to that.

    Yours in Christ,

    Z. Smyth

    Leave a comment:


  • Ilovemaggots
    replied
    Re: Holocaust Jokes

    So free speech-not allowed? You mad broskis?

    Leave a comment:


  • Ilovemaggots
    replied
    Re: Holocaust Jokes

    I'm not trying to make a joke (: Although if you insist...

    What's white, sticky and moves across the sky at a thousand miles an hour?

    [blasphemy deleted -- bab!]

    Leave a comment:


  • Born Again Bob
    replied
    Re: Holocaust Jokes

    Dear Friends,

    Off-topic discussion about Jesus being a Jew moved here.

    Yours in Him,
    BAB

    Leave a comment:


  • Cursed
    replied
    Re: Holocaust Jokes

    Why did the nazis put jews and retards in the same work camp?

    Because if you just put jews in a work camp, no work will get done!

    Leave a comment:


  • BelieverInGod
    replied
    Re: Holocaust Jokes

    What's the difference between jews and boyscouts?
    Boyscouts come back from their camps!

    Leave a comment:

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