[Scheherazade]

Re: Donuts

Oh, they are, no question about that. But baklava and falafel are better for you - donuts are basically fried bread coated in sugar.

I still would like to try them. So long as you eat them moderately or rarely, there is no problem, right?

[Sister Noddy]

Re: Donuts

I still would like to try them. So long as you eat them moderately or rarely, there is no problem, right?

That's right, moderation in all things, Miss Sheherahead! Except for loving JESUS!

Deuteronomy 6:5 And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.

When you love JESUS, it can't be just moderately or rarely, you want to put your whole heart and soul and might into it! He's not just a sugar-coated breakfast bun, you know! Praise!

[Scheherazade]

Re: Donuts

You also don't grow fat in girth from worshipping, just fat in faith!

That was fun, Ms. Noddy!

[narrowpathy]

Re: Donuts

My mother choked to death on a donut. Thanks for reopening that memory.

"I have been pondering these Hula abominations and have found yet another probable cause for alarm.
The shape.
The shape is a circle and we all know that inserting something into a circle is code for fornication, be they fingers or male genitalia. By merely touching ones thumb to ones trigger finger and inserting the opposite trigger finger therein, one is obviously gesturing for lurid sexual activity.
Just by using the Hula device, small children are inserting their entire bodies into this circle while they simulate rigorous sex with their gyrating and thrusting hips. Their bodies become symbolic of huge tallywhackers inside orifices, rubbing and twirling like deviants. Disgusting.
I can see nothing innocent or child-like about simulating a whole body male member. If it's a girl it is almost lesbianism to mimic a male genital. For the boys it is certainly gay."

Eating donuts by women is tantamount to carpet-munching. God punished your mom.

[Old Man Hatchet]

Re: Donuts

"I have been pondering these Hula abominations and have found yet another probable cause for alarm.
The shape.
The shape is a circle and we all know that inserting something into a circle is code for fornication, be they fingers or male genitalia. By merely touching ones thumb to ones trigger finger and inserting the opposite trigger finger therein, one is obviously gesturing for lurid sexual activity.
Just by using the Hula device, small children are inserting their entire bodies into this circle while they simulate rigorous sex with their gyrating and thrusting hips. Their bodies become symbolic of huge tallywhackers inside orifices, rubbing and twirling like deviants. Disgusting.
I can see nothing innocent or child-like about simulating a whole body male member. If it's a girl it is almost lesbianism to mimic a male genital. For the boys it is certainly gay."

Eating donuts by women is tantamount to carpet-munching. God punished your mom.

You imbecile. You threw quotes around the text but failed to cite whose words they are. I will clarify the matter. They belong to Godly Brother Marshall. His insightful and powerful words may be found here: http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showp...&postcount=103

How dare you apply those inspired words towards Pastor Ezekiel's own beloved and God-fearing mother. You are at the top of my ban list, right beside that harlot Roberta.

[Roberta]

Re: Donuts

"I have been pondering these Hula abominations and have found yet another probable cause for alarm.
The shape.
The shape is a circle and we all know that inserting something into a circle is code for fornication, be they fingers or male genitalia. By merely touching ones thumb to ones trigger finger and inserting the opposite trigger finger therein, one is obviously gesturing for lurid sexual activity.
Just by using the Hula device, small children are inserting their entire bodies into this circle while they simulate rigorous sex with their gyrating and thrusting hips. Their bodies become symbolic of huge tallywhackers inside orifices, rubbing and twirling like deviants. Disgusting.
I can see nothing innocent or child-like about simulating a whole body male member. If it's a girl it is almost lesbianism to mimic a male genital. For the boys it is certainly gay."

Eating donuts by women is tantamount to carpet-munching. God punished your mom.

After making a comment like that about Pastor Zeke's mom, I think you are going to enjoy something up your narrow path real soon !

[narrowpathy]

Re: Donuts

Sorry, I forgot to say that it was Borther Marsh who pointed out so insightfully and powerfully that spherical objects with holes (such as hula hoops, donuts, tyres) in them immitate cooters.
Holding such objects simullates fingering cooters and muching them (if they are made of dough or other foodstuffs) simmulates cunilingus.

I would also add, that (unlike hula hoops) donuts look like swoolen "beef curtains".

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Donuts

Sorry, I forgot to say that it was Borther Marsh who pointed out so insightfully and powerfully that spherical objects with holes (such as hula hoops, donuts, tyres) in them immitate cooters.
Holding such objects simullates fingering cooters and muching them (if they are made of dough or other foodstuffs) simmulates cunilingus.

I would also add, that (unlike hula hoops) donuts look like swoolen "beef curtains".

And wouldn't you also like to take this opportunity to apologize to me for besmirching the spotless reputation (other than being a female) of my dearly departed mother?

[narrowpathy]

Re: Donuts

And wouldn't you also like to take this opportunity to apologize to me for besmirching the spotless reputation (other than being a female) of my dearly departed mother?

Did your dearly departed mom apologize to Jesus for munching torroidal objects that look like swollen labia?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Donuts

Pal, you are about one post away from being banned. Just FYI.

[Nobar King]

Re: Donuts

OK, I see we have a schism here on the board over the holyness of doughnuts. Some member(s) have even made vile comparisons to dirty body parts.

But does the circular or toridal form of a doughnut make it inherently evil? Or, since it has a hole, is it holy in nature? Unlike a hula-hoop, doughnuts do not require the user to engage in sexually suggestive hip gyration and 'come hither' arm gesturing. Doughnuts are essentially a foodstuff, and can be made in a variety of shapes; they need not be in the shape of Jesus for them to be acceptable (although I'm sure Jesus' face was once seen in a bear claw.)

I feel pretty certain, however, that using one's tongue to perform sexually suggestive actions with jelly filled doughnuts is still sinful and should be shunned. Similarly, joking around by sticking one's tongue THRU the center of a doughnut should not be done.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Donuts

OK, I see we have a schism here on the board over the holyness of doughnuts. Some member(s) have even made vile comparisons to dirty body parts.

But does the circular or toridal form of a doughnut make it inherently evil? Or, since it has a hole, is it holy in nature? Unlike a hula-hoop, doughnuts do not require the user to engage in sexually suggestive hip gyration and 'come hither' arm gesturing. Doughnuts are essentially a foodstuff, and can be made in a variety of shapes; they need not be in the shape of Jesus for them to be acceptable (although I'm sure Jesus' face was once seen in a bear claw.)

I feel pretty certain, however, that using one's tongue to perform sexually suggestive actions with jelly filled doughnuts is still sinful and should be shunned. Similarly, joking around by sticking one's tongue THRU the center of a doughnut should not be done.

M't:5:9: Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.

[Justina Thyme]

Re: Donuts

"I have been pondering these Hula abominations and have found yet another probable cause for alarm.
The shape.
The shape is a circle and we all know that inserting something into a circle is code for fornication, be they fingers or male genitalia. By merely touching ones thumb to ones trigger finger and inserting the opposite trigger finger therein, one is obviously gesturing for lurid sexual activity.
Just by using the Hula device, small children are inserting their entire bodies into this circle while they simulate rigorous sex with their gyrating and thrusting hips. Their bodies become symbolic of huge tallywhackers inside orifices, rubbing and twirling like deviants. Disgusting.
I can see nothing innocent or child-like about simulating a whole body male member. If it's a girl it is almost lesbianism to mimic a male genital. For the boys it is certainly gay."

Eating donuts by women is tantamount to carpet-munching. God punished your mom.

Have you ever eaten a hot dog or any other type of sausage, or a banana? What would that be tantamount to?

[Peter]

Re: Donuts

As a cop, you know I LOVE donuts!

I would like to ask you what your favorite types are, and then I'd comment on these types!

This should be fun for you all...Bon appetit!

Is that the only thing you can think of? Get a life.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Donuts

Is that the only thing you can think of? Get a life.

We have a Life, it is THE LIFE that Jesus gave for our Salvation. We also have Life Eternal - what have you got? Halitosis?