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  • Dunham
    Unsaved trash
    Under Investigation
    • Jul 2009
    • 4

    #1

    When I die

    When I die, I will go to Heaven.
    You want to know why?
    Because I said the truth.

    And you are going to not go anywhere. Not even Hell.
  • Nobar King
    Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
    Christ's Guardian
    True Christian™
    • Sep 2007
    • 23748

    #2
    Re: When I die

    Can you explain your church's 'not going anywhere after death' doctrine?
    May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

    Comment

    • Dunham
      Unsaved trash
      Under Investigation
      • Jul 2009
      • 4

      #3
      Re: When I die

      What doctrine?
      There's no doctrine.

      Comment

      • Sledge Riprock
        The Lord's Favorite Head Trauma Victim
        Forum Member
        • Aug 2008
        • 188

        #4
        Re: When I die

        You are a BLASPHEMER! You LIE! You are of the DIVIDER! You are a STUMBLING BLOCK! Your Words are meaningless, they are from SATAN, they Burn and do not Honor God!

        He will Punish you without Mecry, though He is Merciful. You must REPENT or BURN. This is a place for Redemption. Give your Heart to the LORD and know GREAT PEACE! He is Love to those that Love Him, a Great Beast to those that Reject His love.

        Show your Love for Jesus, open your Hard Heart and let Him in NOW!
        A Faithful Servant of the Lord sent by God to help Save The Future!

        Repent; or else I will come unto thee quickly, and will fight against them with the sword of my mouth. Revelation 2:16
        sigpic
        A MAN, A PLAN, A PLATFORM, A FORD TRUCK, SLEDGE!

        Comment

        • Dunham
          Unsaved trash
          Under Investigation
          • Jul 2009
          • 4

          #5
          Re: When I die

          I'd rather just live my life the way I did so far. Turned out to be rewarding so far.

          Comment

          • Capt. Aaron Portway
            One of the Lord's Airborne Rangers
            Salvation from Above
            God's Favorite Pilot™
            True Christian™
            • Sep 2008
            • 6309

            #6
            Re: When I die

            Well, you won't be saying that when your skin is on fire in Hell for eternity. Life without God is fine now, but just wait until we are in Heaven and the Devil is watching demons rip your guts out and feed them to you over and over again.
            sigpic


            Winging our Way Across the World for The Lord!



            God Bless John Boehner and God Bless the Grand Old Party!



            Barack Hussein Obama is not My President!!!

            Comment

            • Dunham
              Unsaved trash
              Under Investigation
              • Jul 2009
              • 4

              #7
              Re: When I die

              I never said anything about not loving God either.

              Comment

              • Ezekiel Bathfire
                Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
                Christ's Rottweiler
                 
                • Jan 2008
                • 22840

                #8
                Re: When I die

                But you purported to see into the future, which is forbidden; you're a witch aren't you?
                sigpic


                “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

                Author of such illuminating essays as,
                Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

                Comment

                • Serenity-Millennium
                  Lying fluffy-bunny false Christian,
                  Unsaved trash
                  • Jun 2009
                  • 472

                  #9
                  Re: When I die

                  Dunham, everyone goes to heaven. The love of Christ is in all people. Why can't you see it radiating from the good people here at Landover the way I do?

                  Comment

                  • Rev. Jim Osborne
                    True Christian™ Televangelist
                    Director of Fundraising and Tithing
                    On the Look Out for Wife #6!
                    True Christian™
                    • Jun 2009
                    • 8622

                    #10
                    Re: When I die

                    Don't listen to Serenity. He's just some nudist swinger who converted to "Christianity" after watching Andrew Lloyd Webber's Jesus Christ Superstar. Not everyone goes to Heaven. Even Jesus Himself tells us this...

                    John 15:6 If a man abide not in me, he is cast forth as a branch, and is withered; and men gather them, and cast them into the fire, and they are burned.

                    Watch the #1 Televangelist Gospel Hour in the World! "Turn or Burn: Accept Christ or Go to Hell with Rev. Jim Osborne." Check your local cable listings.

                    Comment

                    • Myron Pollard
                      True Christian™
                      True Christian™
                      • Jul 2009
                      • 242

                      #11
                      Re: When I die

                      Originally posted by Rev. Jim Osborne View Post
                      Don't listen to Serenity. He's just some nudist swinger who converted to "Christianity" after watching Andrew Lloyd Webber's Jesus Christ Superstar. Not everyone goes to Heaven. Even Jesus Himself tells us this...
                      Praise Jesus, Rev. Osborne...Amen

                      Comment

                      • Pastor Ezekiel
                        Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                         
                        • Sep 2006
                        • 78552

                        #12
                        Re: When I die

                        Originally posted by Dunham View Post
                        I'd rather just live my life the way I did so far. Turned out to be rewarding so far.
                        Friend, you are making the same mistake that so many false Christians make. You think that by living your life morally, by doing good deeds and thinking nice thoughts that you will earn a place at Christ's table up in Heaven. I'm sorry to be the one to tell you that you couldn't be more wrong.

                        Please take a look at THIS sermon of mine on that very topic. I hope you find it enlightening.

                        Originally posted by Dunham View Post
                        I never said anything about not loving God either.
                        The Bible tells us that unless you follow every single word of God's Divine Commandments, you are as hellbound as if you had never even followed one of them.

                        James 2:10 For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all.
                        Who Will Jesus Damn?

                        Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                        Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                        Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                        Comment

                        • Serenity-Millennium
                          Lying fluffy-bunny false Christian,
                          Unsaved trash
                          • Jun 2009
                          • 472

                          #13
                          Re: When I die

                          Originally posted by Rev. Jim Osborne View Post
                          Don't listen to Serenity. He's just some nudist swinger who converted to "Christianity" after watching Andrew Lloyd Webber's Jesus Christ Superstar.
                          As much as I love JCS and the works of ALW, it was in fact Godspell that got me saved.

                          Not everyone goes to Heaven. Even Jesus Himself tells us this...
                          A book dealing with universal salvation and all the various proofs found in the Bible.

                          Comment

                          • TheLordSavedMe
                            A young lady servicing the Lord
                            True Christian™
                            • Jun 2009
                            • 579

                            #14
                            Re: When I die

                            Serenity, I think you sound like a really nice person, but there is no way everybody goes to Heaven. What about that guy that ate those asian gay guys, Jeffery Dommer? There is no way he is in heaven!

                            Say there is some Saved young asian kids in Heaven. Theres probably not very many, but there might be some. So what if Jeff Dommer is up there too, OK?

                            Well. What if he starts in with the stuff he did on earth? That does not sound like any Heaven I ever heard of, having some lunatic drug you, drill a few holes in your head and then stuff you in a trash can full of acid when you die.

                            And I know you can't die in Heaven, so that kinda makes it even worse, I mean the being in the trash can full of acid part of it.

                            It just doesn't make sense to me that bad people can go to Heaven. What would be the point? It'd be just like living in San Jose for eternity. I think Heaven should be better than San Jose!

                            Tammi


                            Girls, do you have embarrassing "problems" with your down there parts like I used to?
                            Reverend Jim Osborne can help!



                            sigpic

                            He is the Rock, his work is perfect: for all his ways are judgment: a God of truth and without iniquity, just and right is he. Deuteronomy 32-4

                            Comment

                            • Miss April
                              Landover's Version of Carrie Prejean
                              Forum Member
                              • Apr 2009
                              • 685

                              #15
                              Re: When I die

                              Originally posted by Serenity-Millennium View Post
                              As much as I love JCS and the works of ALW, it was in fact Godspell that got me saved.



                              http://www.tentmaker.org/books/Bibleproofs2.html
                              What's that link to your False Santic Bible? See Us True Christians can not be fooled by you I Lord has brought you here to repent now why don't you go get a copy of the King James Bible and start reading it

                              Comment

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