Dream Interpretation Thread

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Not wanting to distract from Sister Handmaiden's thread about her disturbing ice-cream bar dream, I thought it would be neat to set up a separate thread where we can all share dreams and interpret them, to understand what they mean and how they guide us in our walk with Christ.

Dream:

Last night, I had a very odd dream. I was riding on a train with members of my Men's Prayer Group, traveling up a broad, fertile valley. Outside I could see lush pastures where cattle were grazing, and a gentle river flowing past.

The engineer announced that Mount Flint was ahead. The lights in the train suddenly went on, and the engineer warned us that we would lose WiFi as soon as we entered the tunnel, but we'd be through quickly.

Seconds later, the train raced into the Mount Flint tunnel. The cars barely fit; in fact, I saw sparks as the rocking car I was in rubbed the sides of the unbearably tight tunnel. I was nervous and excited all at the same time!

A light was coming up ahead, and then . . . >SPLAT<! We slammed into something, then burst out into the sunlight on the other side.

The engineer apologized. Seems there'd been a mudslide on the other side of Mount Flint, which had left a huge pile of gooey mud on the tracks. There hadn't been time to stop, so the train had plowed right through. He told us to be glad it hadn't been a rockslide.

What a mess! We didn't appreciate the extent of the filth until we got to the station and saw the entire train caked with brown mud. Good thing we'd been safe inside with the windows closed.

Interpretation:

So, when I consider this dream, the first thing I do is recognize the major elements. In this case, there's me; the train; the track; the tunnel; and the mudslide.

The track plows through any obstacle, even through a mountain! The track also determines the direction. It's God's Word.

The tunnel is the darkness of doubt, when we aren't sure of the way ahead and have to put our faith in Jesus. The mud is the filth of this world, which we splatter through. But the train (Jesus, who keeps me moving down His Track) protects us and keeps us pure.

See how easy that is? Share a dream, or help someone interpret one of theirs!

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: Dream Interpretation Thread

I give it five minutes before some unsaved atheist who is mocking God comes in and posts a dream about anal sex, but nice idea for a thread.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Dream Interpretation Thread

I had a dream that I witnessed the crucifixion of Jesus. They were hammering the nails in His hands and the blood was coming out like a fire hose, washing over the whole world, filling the oceans and flooding the low lying planes. Eventually His Redeeming Blood reached all the way to the firmament. Then it began to die down, and as it seeped into the ground there were people in Hell who thought they would get just a taste of His Blood, but it never came. And they burned and burned without forgiveness for all eternity.

As the blood seeped into the ground, it revealed a perfect world, with no homosexuals, and everyone had the same beliefs. Everyone who was not a TRUE Christian™ had been cast into Hell where they belonged, and were being punished infinitely, as they deserved.

The people in Hell were reading 1 Peter 2:8 and complaining that it wasn't fair, that they had been appointed to Hell by God before they were even created. God was laughing at them and saying, "So what? I'm God, the source of all moral authority. I decide what is good and what is evil, and I say anal sex is wrong."

I witnessed all of this and made an informed decision to worship God, and thanked Him for the Redeeming Blood of His Son and all that it had accomplished.

I saw Presbyterians in Hell who had sat idly by while lesbians spoke in their churches. I saw Catholics in Hell who had worshiped Jesus' mother. I saw atheists in Hell who had committed anal rape upon infants and subsequently cannibalized their victims while they were still sort of alive. I saw environmentalists in Hell who had doubted the prophecies of Revelation, instead choosing to fear empirical evidence that human wastefulness was having a negative impact on the ecosystem. I saw scientists and science worshipers in Hell who believed in what could be proven with the five senses, but disagreed with the Bible. Everyone in Hell was walking around still thinking the Earth was spherical, despite the TRUE FACT(tm) that Jesus had seen all the kingdoms of the world from a single point of high elevation in Matthew 4:8.

It was all very vivid, and when I awoke I knew that it had been a vision sent from the Lord, confirming that I was right to worship Him, and that He was just and fair.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Dream Interpretation Thread

I give it five minutes before some unsaved atheist who is mocking God comes in and posts a dream about anal sex, but nice idea for a thread.

That's why we have moderators, Brother!

If any disgusting gayporn addict starts writing about gang-banging someone's rectum, the post can magically disappear!

But yes, I'm sure someone will put forth something disgusting any moment. And I will have to say, "This is why we can't have nice things!"

I had a dream ...

It was all very vivid, and when I awoke I knew that it had been a vision sent from the Lord, confirming that I was right to worship Him, and that He was just and fair.

What a wonderful dream!

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Dream Interpretation Thread

I had the most interesting dream last night!

I was out running in a field at dawn, wet with fresh morning dew. (The field, not me. OK, my feet were wet. But I wasn't naked or anything. I'm no Wiccan.)

Looking toward the east, I saw a bright light, brighter than the sun. It raced across the sky, lighting up the entire world. A thundering voice boomed, but I couldn't understand it.

Then came an intense, hot wind that blew down trees and left the grass steaming.

Excited, I took out my cell phone to call Widow Helen and tell her to look outside. The phone read 12/21/12. But I had no signal.

Just then, I noticed that the field was no longer steaming, but smoking. The blown-down trees were on fire. Oddly, the heat didn't bother me one bit.

Then I woke up.

Odd, no? I mean, dew on a field in December in Indiana? That just makes no sense at all!

What do you all think?

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Dream Interpretation Thread

What do you all think?

Sounds like you were dreaming of Jesus' return Reverend.

I had a dream every now and then that bugs me.

I am this Nazi soldier and we are gunning down Jews. I am standing at the edge of the pit full of bodies and I come out of the strange trance I was under in the dream and realize God doesn't want this. Of course I have sinfully killed many Jews at this point and if I object now the other Nazis will kill me. Some blonde haired offer screams at me to shoot the old Jewish guy kneeling in front of me. The dream ends that point.

Not sure what that means.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Dream Interpretation Thread

Sounds like you were dreaming of Jesus' return Reverend.

I had a dream every now and then that bugs me.

I am this Nazi soldier and we are gunning down Jews. I am standing at the edge of the pit full of bodies and I come out of the strange trance I was under in the dream and realize God doesn't want this. Of course I have sinfully killed many Jews at this point and if I object now the other Nazis will kill me. Some blonde haired offer screams at me to shoot the old Jewish guy kneeling in front of me. The dream ends that point.

Not sure what that means.

Bobby-Joe, that'd be a very funny dream if you weren't bothered by it.

How could the Holocaust have happened if it wasn't what God wanted? I mean, He knew it would happen before it happened; He was at all moments able to stop it; and yet it happened. So it must have been His Will.

I think Satan is whispering in your ear while you sleep, trying to get you to doubt God's Perfection, Omniscience, and Omnipotence. That's why I think it's funny; I have dreams like that sometimes too, but I know what they are. They're Satan's whispers.

Nothing to worry about, friend!

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Dream Interpretation Thread

I came upon this disturbing dream in another thread:

I seem to have forgotten if it is a sin to dream or not. I certainly hope not because I have had a recurring, troubling dream on several occasions now. My dream always starts out innocently with me sitting by the beach in a lawn chair reading my King James. Then, out of nowhere, Charles Darwin appears and starts making sexual advances on me. It seems that no matter how hard I try to fight, I always wind up face down in the sand getting jack-hammered by Darwin.

I realise of course this is a common Christian dream that most of us Christian guys have from time to time, but I can't help feeling guilty upon awaking.

Last Sunday I stood up before my congregation and explained my dream in explicit detail to my fellow Christians who had a somewhat mixed reaction. There were a few giggles, a few "amens", a few moans and a few men began to perspire heavily. I was told it is a several step program to rid myself from this dream, that I must first eliminate Darwin by concentrating on someone else like Ray Comfort at bedtime. Any advice?

Personally, I see this not as a sexual dream (sorry, I just can't imaging Charles Darwin being physically able to perform, much less force a stout man like yourself to receive his raw rear ramming) but as a symbolic dream.

You hear every day, as we do, that Darwinian evolution is proof that the Bible is false.

On some level, I think you (and the other men in your congregation who had the same dream) fear that this is true.

Charles Darwin isn't raping your anus, friend. Darwinism is raping your soul and your faith!

I recommend a visit to the Creation Museum, posthaste!

If you can't make it in person right now, here is a great photo tour. Just ignore the captions, they're rather silly.

[Fleur-de-lis]

Re: Dream Interpretation Thread

I give it five minutes before some unsaved atheist who is mocking God comes in and posts a dream about anal sex, but nice idea for a thread.

You mean like this one?

Last night, I had a very odd dream. I was riding on a train with members of my Men's Prayer Group, traveling up a broad, fertile valley. Outside I could see lush pastures where cattle were grazing, and a gentle river flowing past.

The engineer announced that Mount Flint was ahead. The lights in the train suddenly went on, and the engineer warned us that we would lose WiFi as soon as we entered the tunnel, but we'd be through quickly.

Seconds later, the train raced into the Mount Flint tunnel. The cars barely fit; in fact, I saw sparks as the rocking car I was in rubbed the sides of the unbearably tight tunnel. I was nervous and excited all at the same time!

A light was coming up ahead, and then . . . >SPLAT<! We slammed into something, then burst out into the sunlight on the other side.

The engineer apologized. Seems there'd been a mudslide on the other side of Mount Flint, which had left a huge pile of gooey mud on the tracks. There hadn't been time to stop, so the train had plowed right through. He told us to be glad it hadn't been a rockslide.

What a mess! We didn't appreciate the extent of the filth until we got to the station and saw the entire train caked with brown mud. Good thing we'd been safe inside with the windows closed.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Dream Interpretation Thread

You mean like this one?

I am no more a God-mocking atheist than any other True Christian(tm) and I have never dreamed about anal sex, you disgusting pervert.

[Wash O'Hanley]

Re: Dream Interpretation Thread

The Dream:

The other night I had this dream where I put a gun to my head and fired it and literally the entire world was blown into my brain. At that very moment myself, my essence, perhaps even my soul, shot out of my head and straight up towards the heavens at a magnificent speed. As I went further and further up the sky turned into a kaleidoscope of pinks and purples. Eventually I landed on some distant planet where two alien-like creatures stood before me. Even though I'd never seen them before I knew they were of great importance in the place that they came from. At first they didn't approach me, and even with their backs turned I could tell they knew of my presence. Finally they came over to me and I was not afraid, but rather, filled with a feeling of great comfort. The alien beings stood towering over me and held out their hands. In one of their hands was my broadcasting microphone and a tie, the other had a copy of a book whose title I could not see and a small naked African child who fit in the palm of his hand. At this point I woke up after what felt like only 5 or 10 minutes.

The Interpretation:

Dreams like this are interesting to me and I like the idea of interpreting them, but I should start by saying that I'm reluctant to interpret this dream since the last time I tried to interpret something I ended up eating an Irish baby after reading A Modest Proposal, but I'll give it a shot.

Maybe also crucial to interpreting this dream is the fact that I had it while napping shortly after those Brazilian guys I paid to build my patio gave me a sip of that tea they were drinking. I remember getting very woosy and falling asleep almost instantly after drinking it.

The only real explanation I can come up with for the aliens is perhaps my inner desire to get back to broadcasting and blogging regularly. As most of you know I've been out of the game for nearly a year now after I got bit by a feral dog while ghost hunting with Newt Gingrich. During my sojourn I've taken up several hobbies like coin collecting and bullying the autistic kid that lives across the street. While bullying autistic kids has been fun, nothing has given me the pride, satisfaction, and self-worth that political punditry once gave me. The aliens were telling me to go back to my show, write another book, and I guess start making fun of impoverished Africans instead of the autistic? That one I wasn't too clear on. I need to start trying new things, too. I'm not afraid to try new things. If I were afraid of trying new things I never would have let Laura Ingraham bleach my asshole. Also, I think one of the Brazilian workers stole my Blue Ray player while I was out.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Dream Interpretation Thread

[Joshua.Wright]

Re: Dream Interpretation Thread

I had a dream that raised a few questions.

It's actually rather simple. I'm faced with two women, one who is everything that I've ever wanted in a girl, the only problem being that I'm worried so much about missing my chance that I'd end up pushing her away.

The other has some of the traits I like but not all of them. This means I would be less nervous and have a better chance with her.

Do I go for the challenge of making the perfect girl like me, or do I go for the other girl, avoiding the chance of heartbreak but sacrificing the chance of being with my dream girl? The dream ended before the choice was made.

[Didymus Much]

Re: Dream Interpretation Thread

...Do I go for the challenge of making the perfect girl like me, or do I go for the other girl, avoiding the chance of heartbreak but sacrificing the chance of being with my dream girl? The dream ended before the choice was made.

You went for nothing, you got nothing.

Wuss.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Dream Interpretation Thread

I had a dream that raised a few questions.

It's actually rather simple. I'm faced with two women, one who is everything that I've ever wanted in a girl, the only problem being that I'm worried so much about missing my chance that I'd end up pushing her away.

The other has some of the traits I like but not all of them. This means I would be less nervous and have a better chance with her.

Do I go for the challenge of making the perfect girl like me, or do I go for the other girl, avoiding the chance of heartbreak but sacrificing the chance of being with my dream girl? The dream ended before the choice was made.

That sounds like you're being faced with listening to your favorite Pastor tell you happy Jesus-loves-everybody stories (the perfect girl, who provides everything you want) or reading the Bible and getting to know the real Jesus.

If you choose the "perfect" girl, you'll be amazingly happy during your life on Earth. You will experience great joy, as you have someone who is exactly what YOU have imagined to be perfection.

Then when you die, you'll be confronted with God as He is, Perfect by HIS standards. You will learn you've disobeyed Him, by following the "perfect for YOU" god that you created in your own mind. You know, the one who only thinks things YOU think are "bad" are sins, and tells you that you can ignore all those "outdated" Commandments!

What then? Your brief happy life will be bookended by an unending eternity of agony as God burns you alive forever in His Lake of Fire.

But if you choose the girl who isn't exactly what you think "perfect" is, that's like reading the Bible to know who God really is. You will learn that your idea of perfection is what is flawed, not God. And when you die? You'll see His Perfection in person, and get to bask in His Glory, praising Him forever and ever, singing hymns to His Perfection without ceasing!

Now, which sounds like the better deal, friend?