Does God hate the Scots?

[Brother Guy Bayard]

I'm about to propose to the love of my life, a wee Scots Girl.
She has the face of an angel, and is an able housemaker .
Trouble is, I don't know much about the Scottish. Have they done anything to annoy Jesus? I'd hate to marry a Scot only to find out that Jesus hates them..

[Brother_Percy]

Re: Does God hate the Scots?

I'm about to propose to the love of my life, a wee Scots Girl.
She has the face of an angel, and is an able housemaker .
Trouble is, I don't know much about the Scottish. Have they done anything to annoy Jesus? I'd hate to marry a Scot only to find out that Jesus hates them..

Brother Guy, you were right to ask! Of course God Hates Scotland! The Scotch are nothing but a bunch of ugly, drunk, skirt-wearing, stinky people with rotten black teeth! Most of them still lived in caves, marry their sisters (or animals), and have no access to electricity or running water!

Your 'proposed love' may be hiding the fact from you that she's nothing more than an inbred cave-dwelling chain-smoking drunk, who's father's really her brother!

Please see my GOD HATES SCOTLAND Thread for more information!

[Warrior of God]

Re: Does God hate the Scots?

I'm about to propose to the love of my life, a wee Scots Girl.
She has the face of an angel, and is an able housemaker .
Trouble is, I don't know much about the Scottish. Have they done anything to annoy Jesus? I'd hate to marry a Scot only to find out that Jesus hates them..

With respect, I must contradict Brother Percy.
His view is a somewhat old fashioned perspective.
Before persuing my Mission as a private contractor I was fortunate enough to be an officer in Her Majesty's Armed Forces for almost thirty years. During that time I commanded many Scots, and came to know their womenfolk.
The Scots are indeed a hard, rough and ready people.
But, handled well, and given the proper example , they can become the veritable Hammer of God. I led Scots who were perhaps the most ardent in their willingness and enthusiasm to smite the Godless and the heretics we encountered on our travels in many parts of the unsaved, un-christian world.
Most Scots favour the non-papist faiths , and are thus closer to redemption than many might think.
Their women can be prone to too high a degree of almost wilful self-determination, but with patience and discipline this can be cured.
I have known many good Scots-women who well knew their place, their role, and their purpose in the greater scheme of things. Such a woman is indeed 'above Rubies'.
If your 'intended is of the wilful type you may well have a deal of work to do.
But, if you apply the correct forms of guidance, correction and re-education, she could well prove to be a wonderful and malleable help-meat.
Brother Percy's view might perhaps be based on the fact the Scots were one of the original ethnic strains that settled in the hill and mountain areas of the Americas. He is possibly confusing the ways and cultures of those areas with the life habits of the 'free-range' Scots back on their home-range.
Cave dwelling Scots are few and far between these days. Inbreeding is far less of a problem. Over the years I have commanded Scots soldiers who have been very eager to sate their appetites on whatever females were encountered in many a varied posting/deployment. At times their appetites were somewhat beyond their control, but even there, those hardy Scots did indeed deliver God's judgement upon many an uncooperative heathen, and in fact, enacted God's punishment for those womens' wicked and Godless ways.

[Talitha]

Re: Does God hate the Scots?

Scottish men wear Skirts.
Don't their Women prefer American True Christian™ real men who dress as the Lord Commands?

These limp-wristed Scots are OBVIOUSLY Homers

Look at the way his bottom is being admired.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Does God hate the Scots?

Dr Johnson once said, and I think him correct, "Much may be made of a Scotchman, if he be caught young." and this applies to of the female of the species.

Despite speaking an unintelligible variant of American, you will be delighted at the frugal nature of a Scotchwoman, who might make the most nutritious soup out of peat and old clothes. This frugality has its drawbacks though; her grip on money is fierce and it takes a strong man much effort to prise open a Scotchwoman’s fist that is tightly closed around a small coin.”

(I am reminded of an old aphorism,
Q: “What is the difference between a Scotchman and a coconut?”
A: “You can get a drink out of a coconut.”)

Beware though, many are Ginger and most importantly, never, ever, feed a Scotchperson whiskey after midnight! Even the stoutest chains will be insufficient to restrain him or her.

All in all, I wish you well, it is a brave (some might say foolhardy) thing you do but ultimately it will be rewarding as she grows tame and used to human company.

[krusty]

Re: Does God hate the Scots?

Oh deary me!
First of it is NOT a skirt it is caled a KILT!!
Secondly its not Scotch its Scottish or Scots!
Scotch as you will know is whisky or in the USA I think it is burbon or however its spelt!

Can I just ask why there are millions of Scottish Christians and ministers, pastors etc if Jesus hates them ?

Just curious...

[Talitha]

Re: Does God hate the Scots?

Oh deary me!
First of it is NOT a skirt it is caled a KILT!!
Secondly its not Scotch its Scottish or Scots!
Scotch as you will know is whisky or in the USA I think it is burbon or however its spelt!

Can I just ask why there are millions of Scottish Christians and ministers, pastors etc if Jesus hates them ?

Just curious...

Not too bright are we?

They are, of course, False Christians.

It's only the True Christian(tm) Pastors we have here who are real.

[Nobar King]

Re: Does God hate the Scots?

I think it is burbon or however its spelt!

Spelt- www.spelt.com

[Brother Guy Bayard]

Re: Does God hate the Scots?

Brother Guy, you were right to ask! Of course God Hates Scotland! The Scotch are nothing but a bunch of ugly, drunk, skirt-wearing, stinky people with rotten black teeth! Most of them still lived in caves, marry their sisters (or animals), and have no access to electricity or running water!

Your 'proposed love' may be hiding the fact from you that she's nothing more than an inbred cave-dwelling chain-smoking drunk, who's father's really her brother!

Please see my GOD HATES SCOTLAND Thread for more information!

Dearest Brother Percy. Thankyou for your assistance. I have annulled the engagement on the grounds that she is probably impure and will likely produce hairy retard babies with anyone foolish enough to attempt to engage in a drunken naked 'sword dance'.
I have reported her presence to the authorities and expect her to be deported anytime within the next month.
I will keep on looking for my perfect bride but I often despair of success.
Please pray for me

[TomtheJew]

Re: Does God hate the Scots?

Brother Guy, you were right to ask! Of course God Hates Scotland! The Scotch are nothing but a bunch of ugly, drunk, skirt-wearing, stinky people with rotten black teeth! Most of them still lived in caves, marry their sisters (or animals), and have no access to electricity or running water!

Your 'proposed love' may be hiding the fact from you that she's nothing more than an inbred cave-dwelling chain-smoking drunk, who's father's really her brother!

Please see my GOD HATES SCOTLAND Thread for more information!

Americans are the worst of all I hopw god smites them down. They ahve the highest gay population and they need to be gone.

Good luck with you wife my friend.

[Cheshire]

Re: Does God hate the Scots?

Well, I am part scottish..


So I'd say God only hates MOST scots.

But so long as you get them young.. Well, they can be normal.

[Warrior of God]

Re: Does God hate the Scots?

Well, I am part scottish..


So I'd say God only hates MOST scots.

But so long as you get them young.. Well, they can be normal.

You're right Miss Cheshire...
Like many wild and Godless creatures they can with hard work and abiding faith be redeemed and brought to the true path.
There are times we must all see past what seems hopeless and strive all the harder in God's name simply for the fact we have tasted defeat.
It is that taste of failure's sorrow that must lift us up and cause us to struggle harder in God's hope.
Too many people think the days of the Crusade are gone.
Hardship , challenge , and powerful foes are all our allies in God's work.
They temper us as water tempers steel,
arming us in the War of faith we all know is being fought all around us.

2 Chronicles 30:9
For if ye turn again unto the LORD, your brethren and your children shall find compassion before them that lead them captive, so that they shall come again into this land: for the LORD your God is gracious and merciful, and will not turn away his face from you, if ye return unto him.

we must strive , always , to return lost souls to the Lord, whether they want to or not. They can be taught to want redemption .

[krusty]

Re: Does God hate the Scots?

I WANT TO KNOW WHO YOUR GOD IS ?
COZ I KNOW THE GOD THAT I WORSHIP N GAVE MY HEART TO LOVES EVERYONE .............EVEN THE ONES THAT DONT KNOW HIM PERSONALY ...... HAVE YOU NEVER LISTENED TO THE WORDS OF THE SONG YES JESUS LOVES ME ? HMMMMMMMMMMMMM NO I DIDNT THINK SO ................... NO MATTER THE COLOUR OF YOUR SKIN OR WHERE YOU COME FROM JESUS LOVES US ALL ..............AND IF JESUS ONLY LOVES CERTAIN PEOPLE THAN WHY IN THE BIBLE DOES IT SAY JESUS DIED FOR ALL OUR SINS ? YOU DO KNOW THAT IF THIS CULT GOES ON YOU WILL EACH AND EVERY ONE STAND TO BE JUDGED ON JUDGMENT DAY !!!!!!!!!!!!!

[krusty]

Re: Does God hate the Scots?

YES JESUS LOVES ME
YES JESUS LOVES ME
YES JESUS LOVES ME
THE BIBLE TELLS ME SO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
WORDS OF THE SONG I ASKED DOES ANYONE KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!
P.S JESUS DIDN'T JUST DIE ON THE CROSS FOR AMERICANS AND THEIR SINS IT WAS WORLD WIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Does God hate the Scots?

YES JESUS LOVES ME
YES JESUS LOVES ME
YES JESUS LOVES ME
THE BIBLE TELLS ME SO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
WORDS OF THE SONG I ASKED DOES ANYONE KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!
P.S JESUS DIDN'T JUST DIE ON THE CROSS FOR AMERICANS AND THEIR SINS IT WAS WORLD WIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

True, but it is quite clear that we TRUE Christians(tm) Americans (Republican, Baptists) are loved the most by Christ. After all Jesus has blessed us with the richest, more powerful country ever to exist on earth. As for Scotsmen, well what can we say about a country were sheep guts is the national dish?