Please pray for my shoe

[Brother_Percy]

I've lost one of my new brogue's. It's black, and the pair cost me over $50. They're only a few months old, and I had just gotten used to wearing them out. Now the left one's up and vanished like a fart on the wind. Just can't seem to find it anywhere, and my wife swears she hasn't tidied it away somewhere. I still have the rights shoe, but the left one is nowhere to be found. I've searched everywhere, and no idea where it could be.

Anyways, here's an image of the type of shoe I've lost. I hope you can all keep that image in your mind when you pray tonight. I've already had the wife and kids praying the past few nights, but still no sign of it. Oh, please remember to pray I find my LEFT shoe. I already have the right one.




Thanks in advance.

[Youth Minister Harry]

Re: Please pray for my shoe

I was praying for your shoe earlier this evening and it occurred to me that I might want to pre-emptively pray for the shoes of your family as well. Would you be able to fax over some photos of your sons' feet? That would be great. Thanks.


Anointed In Blood,
Harry Lester

[HTannor]

Re: Please pray for my shoe

Have you checked the one-legged guy down the street?

[Dan U. Holier]

Re: Please pray for my shoe

Did you miss it since yesterday? Shoes have sole! That means the Rapture could as well... wait! No… never mind

Sorry, for some reason I’m very confused and disappointed right now.

YiC, DUH

[Brother_Percy]

Re: Please pray for my shoe

Bit of an update on the shoe theft -

Now, I didn't realise it at the time, but the new neighbor who just moved to the end of my street is a homosexual. I found this out when talking to Mrs Carmyle who lives 3 doors down. So now I'm pretty sure he's the one who's stolen the shoe.

I actually confronted him about it yesterday evening, and made it obvious I knew he had taken it, though he flat-out denied it.

Anyways, to cut a long story short, I wakened up this morning, and now one of the socks (I was wearing it yesterday when I went to talk to him) has gone missing too!

As of this moment I am now 100% sure it was him, espceially after I confronted him about the missing shoe, and the very next day a sock disappears.

Any thoughts on my next actions would be more appreciated. Obviously I dont want the sock or shoe back now, it case they have AIDS from whatever that pervert was using them for.

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: Please pray for my shoe

Now you come to mention it, Brother, many many of my socks seem to go missing for no apparent reason never to be seen again.

I will start looking at my neighbours to see if they are wearing any of them and get back to you. This could be a good indicator for who in your area is a degenerate fetishist pervert.

[Proud Faroese]

Re: Please pray for my shoe

Is that a baby seal skin shoe?

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Please pray for my shoe

Any thoughts on my next actions would be more appreciated. Obviously I dont want the sock or shoe back now, it case they have AIDS from whatever that pervert was using them for.

Eveything that has been touched by a gay should be burned. Once Michele Bachmann implements Biblical law in America we can burn the gays as well getting rid of the gay infestation once and for all.

It makes me sick to think about that gay shoving your shoe up his behind to fulfill his dirty sinful pleasures. Thinking about what he did with your sock makes me even sicker.

Leviticus 20:13 "If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them."

[Dan U. Holier]

Re: Please pray for my shoe

Eveything that has been touched by a gay should be burned. Once Michele Bachmann implements Biblical law in America we can burn the gays as well getting rid of the gay infestation once and for all.

It makes me sick to think about that gay shoving your shoe up his behind to fulfill his dirty sinful pleasures. Thinking about what he did with your sock makes me even sicker.

Both items should be burned at once, since they’re coated with all kinds of human liquids by now; gross!

Perversions flock together and cross-pollinate: sodomy, coprophilia, onanism, fetishism and - apparently the latest hype - “sock-puppeting”. I remember a God-mocking hateist accusing us of the latter some time ago - he was clearly projecting! I wasn’t even aware what that means; it makes me wanna puke now.

YiC, DUH

[Bible Student]

Re: Please pray for my shoe

Bit of an update on the shoe theft -

Now, I didn't realise it at the time, but the new neighbor who just moved to the end of my street is a homosexual. I found this out when talking to Mrs Carmyle who lives 3 doors down. So now I'm pretty sure he's the one who's stolen the shoe.

I actually confronted him about it yesterday evening, and made it obvious I knew he had taken it, though he flat-out denied it.

Anyways, to cut a long story short, I wakened up this morning, and now one of the socks (I was wearing it yesterday when I went to talk to him) has gone missing too!

As of this moment I am now 100% sure it was him, espceially after I confronted him about the missing shoe, and the very next day a sock disappears.

Any thoughts on my next actions would be more appreciated. Obviously I dont want the sock or shoe back now, it case they have AIDS from whatever that pervert was using them for.

Brother Percy, is it the right sock or the left sock that is missing?

[Brother_Percy]

Re: Please pray for my shoe

Brother Percy, is it the right sock or the left sock that is missing?

The left one. Why? Does it make a difference??? The fact still stands that some filthy homo has taken it, and used it as some sort of cloth-condom for his filthy AIDS-infested perversions! Pretty disgusting!

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: Please pray for my shoe

The left one. Why? Does it make a difference??? The fact still stands that some filthy homo has taken it, and used it as some sort of cloth-condom for his filthy AIDS-infested perversions! Pretty disgusting!

Sounds sinister...

[The Humanist]

Re: Please pray for my shoe

I'm intrigued.

Why would the supreme putative ruler of the universe give a flying fuck about your shoe? In the great scheme of things? Even if asked nicely?

I ask merely for information - because in my experience if I lose a shoe it turns up where I put it but forgot.

[Bible Student]

Re: Please pray for my shoe

Originally Posted by Bible Student
Brother Percy, is it the right sock or the left sock that is missing?

The left one. Why? Does it make a difference??? The fact still stands that some filthy homo has taken it, and used it as some sort of cloth-condom for his filthy AIDS-infested perversions! Pretty disgusting!

It all goes back to gay handkerchief coding. I think your left sock was stolen so the thief would be color coordinated.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Handkerchief_code

[Bible Student]

Re: Please pray for my shoe

I'm intrigued.

Why would the supreme putative ruler of the universe give a flying piffle about your shoe? In the great scheme of things? Even if asked nicely?

I ask merely for information - because in my experience if I lose a shoe it turns up where I put it but forgot.

And we should care about the opinion of a person who can't even remember where he puts his shoe, why?


If you didn't get shit-faced drunk every night perhaps you could keep track of it. Why do you only own one shoe?