[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Manly Jokes

Father Mo told me this joke the other day. It just goes to show how depraved the papists are, with their "holy water" nonsense.

A train hits a bus filled with Catholic school girls and they all perish. They are in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates when St. Peter asks the first girl, "Tiffany, have you ever had any contact with a male organ? Tiffany giggles and shyly replies, "Well, I once touched the head of one with the tip of my finger. St. Peter says, "Okay, dip the tip of your finger in the Holy Water and then you may pass through the Pearly Gate."

St. Peter asks the next girl the same question, "Jennifer, have you ever had any contact with a male organ?" Jennifer is a little reluctant but replies, "Well, once I fondled and stroked one." St. Peter says, "Okay, dip your whole hand in the Holy Water and pass through the gate."

All of a sudden, there is a lot of commotion in the line of girls. One girl is pushing her way to the front of the line. When she reaches the front, St. Peter says, "Ruth, What seems to be the rush?"

Ruth replies, "If I'm going to have to gargle that Holy Water, I want to do it before Jessica sticks her ass in it."

[Sammy The Penitent]

Re: Manly Jokes

Q: Why don't women in San Francisco wear short skirts?

A: Because their balls will show.

[Seth Campbell]

Re: Manly Jokes

...On another topic:

A man comes home from an exhausting day at work, plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, "Get me a beer before it starts." The wife sighs and gets him a beer. Fifteen minutes later, he says, "Get me another beer before it starts." She looks cross, but fetches another beer and slams it down next to him. He finishes that beer and a few minutes later says, "Quick, get me another beer, it's going to start any minute." The wife is furious. She yells at him "Is that all you're going to do tonight? Drink beer and sit in front of that TV? You're nothing but a lazy, drunken, fat slob, and furthermore ..." The man sighs and says, "It's started ..."

That woman needs the sweet-tea treatment mentioned further back

[Sammy The Penitent]

Re: Manly Jokes

That isn't funny.

...On another topic:

A man comes home from an exhausting day at work, plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, "Get me a beer before it starts." The wife sighs and gets him a beer. Fifteen minutes later, he says, "Get me another beer before it starts." She looks cross, but fetches another beer and slams it down next to him. He finishes that beer and a few minutes later says, "Quick, get me another beer, it's going to start any minute." The wife is furious. She yells at him "Is that all you're going to do tonight? Drink beer and sit in front of that TV? You're nothing but a lazy, drunken, fat slob, and furthermore ..." The man sighs and says, "It's started ..."

[Nobar King]

Re: Manly Jokes

Q: What happens when a joo with an erection walks into a wall?

A: He breaks his nose.

That isn't funny.

[Sammy The Penitent]

Re: Manly Jokes

Q: What happens when a joo with an erection walks into a wall?

A: He breaks his nose.

[Nobar King]

Re: Manly Jokes

Most sexist joker EVER gets tech nerds fired!!:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-21896442

"While I did make a big dongle joke about a real piece of hardware that identified as male, no sexual jokes were made about forking," he wrote.
"My friends and I had decided forking someone's repo is a new form of flattery (the highest form being implementation) and we were excited about one of the presenter's projects; a friend said 'I would fork that guys repo'.
"The sexual context was applied by Adria, and not us.

'Crossed the line'
"A SendGrid developer evangelist's responsibility is to build and strengthen our developer community across the globe," wrote SendGrid chief executive Jim Franklin in a blog post. "In light of the events over the last 48+ hours, it has become obvious that (Adria's) actions have strongly divided the same community she was supposed to unite. As a result, she can no longer be effective in her role at SendGrid.

Take that, you sexist, atheist nerds!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Manly Jokes

My barber told me this one.

What are the three fastest ways of communication?

Telephone, television, and tell a woman.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Manly Jokes

A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette.

When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.

After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought,

"Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!"

She got out and walked over to the farmer and said,

"If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?"

The farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, said she could have a try.

The blonde looked at the flock and guessed, "157."

The farmer was amazed - she was right! So the blonde, (who looked like a brunette), picked one out and got back into her car.

Before she left, farmer walked up to her and said.

"If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"

[Didymus Much]

Re: Manly Jokes

I will not be making any more jokes about a woman's menstrual cycle. Period.

Nor will I about inept cunnilinguists. They don't go down well.

[Sammy The Penitent]

Re: Manly Jokes

I will not be making any more jokes about a woman's menstrual cycle. Period.

[Sammy The Penitent]

Re: Manly Jokes

Altar Boy 1: Hi! I have to go to confession today and I'm a bit worried. You've known this priest for a long time. What will he give me for sodomy?

Altar Boy 2: Two chocolate bars.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Manly Jokes

John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life between the legs of me wife!"

That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!

He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best Toast of the Night"

She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"

John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife."

"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John," Mary said.

The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."

She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come."

[Godlover90]

Re: Manly Jokes

Who would win in a fight?
Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, a dumb Negro, or a smart Negro
The dumb Negro because the others don't exist.

[Russell Holbeck]

Re: Manly Jokes

Hello Landover Baptist Church. Here is my joke:

Q: What is the difference between St. Patrick's Day and Martin Luther King Day?

A: Everybody wants to be Irish on St. Patrick's Day.

I should have told this to you yesterday.

Thank you.

Rusty

P.S. I also do not want to be Irish. They are drunks.