[Prayer Warrior]

Re: Manly Jokes

The idea that women and "CEO" should be anywhere in the same sentence and that women should be PAID for the work they home!

This website 10 "jobs" women should be paid for. This website is so absurd, it has to be some sort of parody.

http://www.salary.com/what-s-a-mom-worth-in-2012/slide/3/

10. CEO: And women always on the job, right? Like when they're sitting on the couch watching Teletubbies with their 2 year old, that's them doing their job as "CEOs".

9. Laundry Machine Operator: Wow, she learned how to load her own clothes into a washer and press the on button! Give her $20,000 for that!

8. Psychologist: She could be a drunk drug addict, and have no degree, but we're supposed to believe she can do the job of a trained Psychologist and that she should get paid what a Psychologist gets paid?

7. Janitor: I live alone and I clean up after myself. Should I be getting paid to do that? Most of the messes are probably caused by the woman screwing up the meals and spilling food everywhere in the first place.

6. Van Driver: Holy cow! I can drive a car too! I suppose I should be getting paid to use up gas and drive my car around!


5. Computer Operator: I couldn't contain myself. A Computer operator? Really? Going online on Victoria's secret and updating your Facebook makes you a computer operator? Using your husband's credit card makes you a "Computer Operator"??? Women should be PAID to do this?! This survey also shows that they're "working" 6.5 hours a week.

4. Facilities Manager: What on Earth is a "Facilities Manager"?



Notice even the little child is holding the wrench in the right end, and the woman is holding the wrench in the wrong end? I can just imagine the man in the background saying "Yeah! Hold that wrench! Like that! Got it!"

they manage their respective “staffs” and delegate authority in the form of chores for the kids and “Honey Do” lists for their partners.

A Honey Do list??? Any man who uses a wife's "Honey Do" list for anything other than toilet paper should be admitted to the nearest mental facility. Everyone knows it is the man who repairs objects, and delegates tasks.

Remember husbands, next time you order your wife around, you should expect her to PAY you for the generous "Facilities Manager" service you are giving her.

This is just so absurd I can't even go on. Why don't women go out in the real world and apply for all these "jobs" that they're supposedly qualified for? Go up to a major company and say "Yeah, I'd like to apply for CEO or Psychologist. My qualifications? I took care of my 3 year old at home." See how far that gets them.

[Russell Holbeck]

Re: Manly Jokes

Q: Who can shave 25 times a day but still have a beard?

A: A homosexual.

I heard this at the barbershop the other day. I did not understand it but everyone laughed so I thought I would share it.

Thank you.

Rusty

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Manly Jokes

Why do only 10% of women make it to Heaven?

Because if they all went, it would be Hell.

[Kooterbreath]

Re: Manly Jokes

I don't know if this one has been said yet..

Why did the man build his wife a window over the sink?
To give her a point of view!

For this one, bad joke is an understatement.

[Steve]

Re: Manly Jokes

I don't know if this one has been said yet..

Why did the man build his wife a window over the sink?
To give her a point of view!

That's just sick. A man tells a woman what her point of view is!

[Freddy McGuinness]

Re: Manly Jokes

I don't know if this one has been said yet..

Why did the man build his wife a window over the sink?
To give her a point of view!

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: Manly Jokes

Why did NASA send at least one woman on every mission?

Because she weighs 150lbs. less than an automatic dishwasher.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Manly Jokes

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Manly Jokes

Four guys have been going to the same fishing trip for many years.

Two days before the group is to leave, Ron's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going.
Ron's mates are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do.

Two days later the three get to the camping site to find Ron sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and dinner cooking on the fire, sitting having a cold beer.

"Crap Ron, how long you been here, and how did you talk your missus into letting you go?"

"Well, I've been here since last night.
Yesterday evening, I was sitting in my living room chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and asked, 'Guess who?" I pulled her hands off, and there she was, wearing a nightie.

She took my hand and pulled me into our bedroom. The room had candles and rose petals all over. Well she's been reading 50 Shades of Grey......

On the bed she had handcuffs, and ropes! She told me to tie her up and cuff her to the bed, so I did.

And then she said, "Do whatever you want."

So, Here I am!

[Thomas Taylor]

Re: Manly Jokes

A mooslim gets into a taxi in London and says take me to Tower Hamlets.
The driver says"Ok" and starts to drive.
The mooslim says "Could you please turn off your music because in the time of the prophet there was no western music.?"
The taxi driver stops the taxi, gets out and opens the door. The mooslim says "What are you doing?"
The taxi driver says"In the time of the prophet there were no taxi's, get out and wait for a fuckin' camel."

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Manly Jokes

Luigi the Goat-Lover joke

Isn't that one of the bonus levels in Super Mario Brothers?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Manly Jokes

I heard this joke from an Eye-talian fella I ran into over in Hong Cong recently. He was staying in the same hotel, we got to chatting, and he shared this joke.

Luigi and his cousin Mario were standing on the hills of Italy overlooking the sea.

Luigi says to Mario, “Do you see the docks on the edge of the sea? I Luigi built all of those wonderful docks.
Do they call me Luigi the dock builder? No.

Do you see all of the beautiful ships on the water? I Luigi built those ships.
Do they call me Luigi the ship builder? No!

Do you see all of the beautiful mansions on the hill? I Luigi built all of those beautiful mansions!
Do they call me Luigi the mansion builder? NO!

But, you fucka one goat…”

[Higgins]

Re: Manly Jokes

Hey Guys, you know what is funny?



Women's rights.

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: Manly Jokes

OK, back on track:

Q: What's another word for cocoon?

A: N-negro.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Manly Jokes

The Bible tells us we are born sinners, we therefore must admit we are sinners. I have asked God to wash away my sins, and so has my wife. We follow Jesus to the best of our ability, however there are times when we sin because we our human, God's grace however still means that these sins are washed away so that I may be clean because Jesus is in my heart.

You name call by saying I am 'deluded,confused' instead of offering pray and support as a TRUE Christian would.

Friend, I say those things to get you to open your eyes. You are not doing what God commands. When you die and open your eyes, you will see the piecing stare of Satan and not the warmth of Jesus.
You cannot simply decide you are purified, you have to follow Gods word. You cannot modify or change it to suit you. Following His word to the best of your ability means nothing. Everyone does not win a prize. Either you succeed and go to Heaven or you fail and go to Hell.
Did you ever go to school? Did you graduate with honors simply because 'You tried'? Do not be absurd. Either you are a winner or a sinner. There is no middle ground. God does not coddle retards like fluffy bunny false Christians do.
Praying for you is pointless as you deliberately are mocking God by claiming to know better than Him. We can only help those that want help. I am not going to hold your penis so your aim at Gods sandals is better.