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  • Jesus Starting to Kill Gamers

    I am at a complete loss to find any reference in the Bible (KJV1611) where Jesus would endorse the playing of video games – or anything even remotely resembling them in the time that our Savior was alive spreading the Gospel.

    I find it heartening (and frankly, high time) that Jesus has taken the time from His busy schedule to finally get around to dispensing some Holy Justice to these worthless scum mommie's boy gamers who accomplish nothing except wasting some fresh air, sponging off of their parents, voting for Obama, and using their parents' health insurance under ObamaCare. It's no wonder our economy is still tanking.

    Slouthfulnesse casteth into a deep sleepe: and an idle soule shall suffer hunger.

    - Proverbs 19:15

    And withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not.

    - 1 Timothy 5:13
    Lad, 18, dies after 40-hour gaming marathon

    A TEENAGER was found dead in an internet cafe after reportedly playing a video game for 40 HOURS straight.

    The 18-year-old lad is believed to have collapsed during a marathon session of Diablo 3.

    He was found by workers in the internet cafe in Tainan, southern Taiwan.

    It is believed he had not eaten for two days.

    The gamer has so far only been identified by his surname, Chuang.

    On the morning of July 15, an attendant entered the room and found Chuang resting on a table. After the attendant woke him, he stood, took a few steps and then collapsed, reports said.

    He was pronounced dead shortly after arriving at a local hospital.

    Police were investigating the cause of death and an autopsy was being carried out.

    It has been speculated that sitting for long hours in a sedentary position created cardiovascular problems for Chuang.

    The teen had been playing the latest instalment of the role-playing game.

    It is the second death from playing video games in the country this year.

    In February, a man in New Taipei was found dead, slumped in a chair facing a computer with his arms still reaching out for the keyboard after playing for 23 hours. The cause of death was reported as cardiac arrest.

    Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
    brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
    ...and get off my lawn
    sigpic

  • #2
    Re: Jesus Starting to Kill Gamers

    I play games every day, and I think you should try. Jesus often likes to lie because he says that some good things(like masturbation) are bad. You don't have to always listen to him.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Jesus Starting to Kill Gamers

      Originally posted by viakaije View Post
      I play games every day, and I think you should try. Jesus often likes to lie because he says that some good things(like masturbation) are bad. You don't have to always listen to him.
      When has Jesus ever lied? Please support your wild-assed allegations with Scripture.

      sigpic

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Jesus Starting to Kill Gamers

        Originally posted by viakaije View Post
        I play games every day, and I think you should try. Jesus often likes to lie because he says that some good things(like masturbation) are bad. You don't have to always listen to him.
        But, without Jesus killing some and sparing others, how would anybody determine right from wrong?

        See, if you had just stopped to think, you wouldn't have said something so stupid. That is what video games do to otherwise thinking individuals.
        The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!

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        • #5
          Re: Jesus Starting to Kill Gamers

          There is no fuckin' Jesus Christ
          There never was a sacrifice
          No man upon the crucifix
          Beware the cult of purity
          Infectious inbecility
          I've made my choice. Six six six

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Jesus Starting to Kill Gamers

            Originally posted by Tormentor View Post
            There is no pifflein' Jesus Christ
            There never was a sacrifice
            No man upon the crucifix
            Beware the cult of purity
            Infectious inbecility
            I've made my choice. Six six six
            You seem to suffer from a really bad case of neologism (Look it up, it'd do you well to read something) as well as a bad case of the stupid.

            Our Lord is very real, as soon you'll find out when he sends you to a special hell, one filled with other idiots such as yourself. There you can sit at first bemused amongst your ilk, until one day you see they're as dumb and annoying as the day is long. That epiphany will be followed promptly with the realization you're going to be stuck with them for the whole of eternity.

            Only then will you beg for a more 'traditional' hell; being raked over scorching hot brimstone, air thick with clouds of acid, flames so hot they sear your everlasting soul with your very bones.

            No my friend, you're going to get your box, and your fools.

            I know this, because I am praying for it right... this... very... second...

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Jesus Starting to Kill Gamers

              But if i go on confession, what then? I will go to heaven?

              Confession is reset gumb.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Jesus Starting to Kill Gamers

                Originally posted by viakaije View Post
                I play games every day, and I think you should try. Jesus often likes to lie because he says that some good things(like masturbation) are bad. You don't have to always listen to him.
                Please show me where in the Bible Jesus said that masturbation is bad. Chapter and verse.

                Originally posted by Tormentor View Post
                Infectious inbecility
                I've made my choice. Six six six
                Yes, you worship Satan, a creation of God.

                Fortunately for us, we are inoculated by the Blood of the Lamb against your infection imbecility.
                Bible boring? Nonsense!
                Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
                You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Jesus Starting to Kill Gamers

                  If you're going to quote well-known fag band Slayer, at least give them proper attribution instead of implying that is your original material. "Thou shalt not steal" and all that.

                  Yours in Christ,

                  Z. Smyth
                  sigpic

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Jesus Starting to Kill Gamers

                    Originally posted by Tormentor View Post
                    There is no pifflein' Jesus Christ
                    There never was a sacrifice
                    No man upon the crucifix
                    Beware the cult of purity
                    Infectious inbecility
                    I've made my choice. Six six six
                    Oh look, it's yet another narcissistic kid who's a "satanist" because morality and decency are just so uncool.

                    Originally posted by Tormentor View Post
                    But if i go on confession, what then? I will go to heaven?

                    Confession is reset gumb.
                    Ask a Catholic, you clueless asshole.

                    Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

                    Hot Must ReadThreads!


                    Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!

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                    • #11
                      Re: Jesus Starting to Kill Gamers

                      asshole? free curse words are tolerated? I'm Catholic, but I'm getting close to the baptism... If you love Jesus, how I was taught, why so much hatred against anyone who thinks differently from you?

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Jesus Starting to Kill Gamers

                        Originally posted by Horadryn View Post
                        asshole? free curse words are tolerated?...
                        Why not? Jesus cursed those who would not listen.

                        ... If you love Jesus, how I was taught, why so much hatred against anyone who thinks differently from you?
                        You answered your own question without realizing:

                        ...I'm Catholic...
                        Therefore you were taught wrong.

                        ...but I'm getting close to the baptism...
                        What does that mean?

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Jesus Starting to Kill Gamers

                          so, Jesus did not teach to love who was different from us?

                          ...but I'm getting close to the baptism...
                          What does that mean?
                          I would like to become a Baptist, but it seems to me that here reigns hatred instead of compassion of christ

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Jesus Starting to Kill Gamers

                            Originally posted by Horadryn View Post
                            so, Jesus did not teach to love who was different from us?


                            I would like to become a Baptist, but it seems to me that here reigns hatred instead of compassion of christ
                            Read the Bible, son. Better yet, start with Luke 19:27. Then tell me what Jesus thought of people who weren't Christian.
                            The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Jesus Starting to Kill Gamers

                              Originally posted by Horadryn View Post
                              asshole? free curse words are tolerated? I'm Catholic, but I'm getting close to the baptism... If you love Jesus, how I was taught, why so much hatred against anyone who thinks differently from you?
                              Perhaps your teachers lied to you. The Catholic church certainly lied to me. All I needed to do to discover the depths of their deception was to read the Bible for myself.
                              sigpic
                              Isaiah 34:6 The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness, and with the blood of lambs and goats, with the fat of the kidneys of rams: for the LORD hath a sacrifice in Bozrah, and a great slaughter in the land of Idumea.

                              John 5:46,47 For had ye believed Moses, ye would have believed me: for he wrote of me. But if ye believe not his writings, how shall ye believe my words?

                              Join me in scoffing at backwards Muslims clinging to their beliefs in the face of the evidence!
                              The truth about volcanos
                              Sex and debauchery in public schools
                              Faith wins over science (explained for even the very stupid)
                              God Cures AIDS - GLORY!
                              Desert whale bones prove Great Flood once and for all.

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