[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19?

In exchange for a hefty donation to the land of Freehold, could I buy a hug so that some of its greatness may rub off of me? I’ll be sure to say “no homer” so that it isn’t against God.

I appreciate the sentiment but the answer has to be no.

[Uncle Rutherford]

Re: Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19?

I appreciate the sentiment but the answer has to be no.

Understandable. From a business standpoint you could start selling the hugs and kisses in Freehold to protect your fellow upstanding White Christian folk though. I admit I am envious at how you were blessed.

[Uncle Rutherford]

Re: Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19?

Sorry for double posting but Brother Cranky, you should check to see if you can bill medical insurance companies as well for those hugs too after properly researching if you’re blessed with the vaccine against COVID!

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19?

I admit I am envious at how you were blessed.

Unfortunately it seems Donald Trump was no longer contagious. So our manly kiss didn't give me Covid-19. I hope my visit to my old New York friend will be more successful.

[Uncle Rutherford]

Re: Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19?

Unfortunately it seems Donald Trump was no longer contagious. So our manly kiss didn't give me Covid-19. I hope my visit to my old New York friend will be more successful.

Do you mean Brother Larry? He’s the one who introduced me to Freehold when I was visiting upstate New York to help local police departments determine which predominantly black neighborhoods had gangs in them (spoiler alert: all of them dangit). He is a nice NICE fellow. Does he have COVID?

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19?

Do you mean Brother Larry?

No, I haven't heard from him for a while. Perhaps he was lucky enough to die from Covid-19 and go to Heaven. I visited my friend in the Buffalo Center for Rehabilitation and Nursing which, to my surprise, didn't serve any buffalo wings. They should change the name. My friend kept complaining about how horrible it's there an how he wished Jesus would take him. I hugged and kissed as many people as possible so I am certain Jesus will now finally bless me with Covid-19!

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19?

Originally Posted by Basilissa

Mark 8:23-24
23 And he took the blind man by the hand, and led him out of the town; and when he had spit on his eyes, and put his hands upon him, he asked him if he saw ought.
24 And he looked up, and said, I see men as trees, walking.

A wonderful example of Christ's healing power, not only of blindness but plague and demons too.

Philosophical Transactions (1683-1775), Volume 35, Page 449
Mr. Will. Chesselden, F. R. S., St. Thomas's Hospital, London.

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Note in particular at the beginning of paragraph 2: At first the things he saw he thought extremely large. - almost as if the men he saw walking were the size of trees. The young man had his vision restored after a lifetime of blindness and what did he see? Exactly what we already knew he'd see because it's recorded in The Bible.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19?

I am home again and I feel horrible. How can I be sure this is Covid-19 and not something else?

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19?

I am home again and I feel horrible. How can I be sure this is Covid-19 and not something else?

There seem to be so many symptoms of this little bug that it's hard to tell. Did you have lunch or any other refreshments at the Buffalo Center, Brother Cranky? Because it might be food poisoning.

[Basilissa]

Re: Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19?

Do you mean Brother Larry? He’s the one who introduced me to Freehold when I was visiting upstate New York to help local police departments determine which predominantly black neighborhoods had gangs in them (spoiler alert: all of them dangit). He is a nice NICE fellow. Does he have COVID?

The last I know about Brother Larry, he went deep undercover penetrating some homosexual gangs in the New York City. Haven't heard from him since, which worries me but I always keep him close in my prayers.

I am home again and I feel horrible. How can I be sure this is Covid-19 and not something else?

You should request a helicopter to the Walter Reed National Military Medical Center, just in case. After all, now that President Trump had the coronavirus, every infected American will be receiving the same treatment as he did, right?

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19?

Did you have lunch or any other refreshments at the Buffalo Center, Brother Cranky?

No. the food there was horrible.

You should request a helicopter to the Walter Reed National Military Medical Center, just in case.

Biden must run that place. I called them but they hung up on me!

I am tired, have a high fever, a dry cough and I completely lost all sense of taste and smell. Could any of this be Covid-19?

[Des]

Re: Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19?

I tried for months to get the Chinese novelty virus. I even went so far as to lock myself in my fallout shelter with house staff representatives from all over China. Taipei, Okinawa, Seoul, Phnom Penh, Hanoi. Nothing! Not a single chinawoman was able to infect me. I prayed with them singly, in pairs, even had a big prayer pile a couple of times and not even a sneeze.

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19?

I am tired, have a high fever, a dry cough and I completely lost all sense of taste and smell. Could any of this be Covid-19?

One way to check would be to get some radiation inside you, "UV" being ideal I've heard. "High pressure UV" (whatever that means) is the best apparently. Evidently you need to get in inside you somehow (maybe that's the "high pressure" bit?) anyway the point is if that does a number on your symptoms, if they go away in probably a few seconds even! then yes, it was the Covid.

The means of application was troubling me and I looked something up so 365nm is high pressure or 100nm or 10nm would be the best (what nautical miles' got to do with it beats me, maybe go on a cruise?) and there was another method of getting the radiation which I'm not promoting but it's a 15 day course and according to the box the results are guaranteed.

[Des]

Re: Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19?

[ATTACH]29582[/ATTACH]

I've never seen those particular violet wand attachments before, and had no idea that this was a way of getting the chinese novelty virus. I'll get mine out from under the bed and try it out. I should probably try it on a couple of the maids first, just to make sure it works.

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19?

I haven't heard that ultra violets give..you bat plague but that if you had The Symptoms and took the UV and recovered then, what you had, was..the Corona.

Never having been on a cruise it's difficult for me to recommend that vector but amenities are supposed to be opulent. I can't see any point getting on a boat unless you're actually going somewhere. Did you know they even make bicycles that won't move no matter how hard you pedal? What's the point of that?

Hebrews 11:1e-2a Let us run with patience the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus

Satan has different ideas. Let's all remain in the same place, pedal ourselves blue-in-the-face dripping all over and look like we're having a stroke, is his idea of a race and Jesus standing there with the medal but no-one turns up for the prize He died to obtain.

"Prizes? Shmryzs!" sums up his attitude. "Why use vowels when you can get a jab of this and see the world rush by without even lifting a finger?" Satan's like that, always wanting something for nothing. When he challenged God it was no different, he seduced the angels (who turned into demons) and they got busy while he sat there cackling. "Ha ha the fools," I can imagine him saying. "I've got them running around doing something they don't want to so I can do something else!" He quaffs some adrenaline. "Ho ho he he ha ha." Watching his creatures go nuts he knows that for them there is no outcome, no prize. No race to win. The race never started: all their machines are bolted to the floor. Soon it will be over. Satan will dump them and they'll all be carted off; then..there will be a beginning. A beginning that lasts for ever. Torment, smoke, tooth gnashing, molten tar, wailing and all that effort for nothing.

Christians are not like that. Jesus offers a prize for an actual race but so many prefer the illusion of engagement and reject Him. For your household staff to receive a blessing I would avoid the lights I suggested which require a high voltage supply but I think there a smaller battery models available. On the other hand, if you considered the cruise option I've heard there's some great deals for a Caribbean and The Bahamas jaunt which they'd appreciate. Probably a bit cold for Alaska but Rio and Tierra del Fuego is another option with so many opportunities to spread His blessing to others. As I say though, just going there and then coming straight back or circling around for a week or two doesn't appeal to me so I wouldn't be able to accompany you.