Lee Sang-hyeok: On how I reached enlightenment

[skt1faker]

Good morning brothers,

I write you from one of your country children, South Korea. It is a sunny day, beautiful. Not long ago, one night, I was feeling weary and anxious, seeing life pass me by, when a strange thought occured me: I should pick my father's bible and go all through it until I find some kind of absolution words. And fellows, I did go all through it. I went deep..

So, here i was in my bedroom, reading the words of the Lord, when Jesus appeared in my room. Oh, and he was shining so brightly.. I couldn't believe the sight. Could this be true? Was this the true sight of the Son of God? Or did I took too much Aderall? I was starting to doubt myself, but then.. The truest of feelings emmersed me, and it began to feel warm inside me. Jesus whispered kindly in my ear "You are precious to me, sonny" , making my spine shiver. And then I knew, that had to be real. I've never felt so good in my life, being with Jesus in my bedroom, it was too much, I couldn't handle it. This was when my father came to my room and saw me lying on my knees praying for sweet Jesus. It was then that I had realized, I had been reading the Bible and God listened all through. I never felt so connected, physically and mentally speaking. I had no words. Since then, I didn't shower and I spent all nights praying for you fellow friends to come help us in the war against North Korea.

I come to you in shame of being an Asian, I recognize it isn't one of the most gifted human races, but I can help you guys whenever I can with my overrated intelligence and math skills. I seriously hope Donald Trump wins by the way. I wanted to meet more enlightened people so I searched for a forum and what a forum did I find! It is forumidable!

Thank you so much for accepting me, as did God.
I hope we all get along well, I'm pretty caucasian when I'm texting.

[Alvin Moss]

Re: Lee Sang-hyeok: On how I reached enlightenment

Welcome then, Chinaman. Are you saved?

[skt1faker]

Re: Lee Sang-hyeok: On how I reached enlightenment

You bet I am Mr. Alvin Sir! In the name of the Lord! Holy!

[Alvin Moss]

Re: Lee Sang-hyeok: On how I reached enlightenment

Well then, friend, do tell us of your adventures with Jesus. What is your congregation? Who is your Pastor? Do you drive a Hundai? What revolver do you favor?

Tell us every detail, no matter how sordid, embarrassing, depraved or illegal. God Bless!

[Des]

Re: Lee Sang-hyeok: On how I reached enlightenment

Welcome, whoever you are. One of my maids just popped up from under the desk, and was bouncing around all excited, shrieking "Ohhhh! Reage of regends, Kami! Kami! Reague of regends!". I had to crank her behavior control collar up to 11 in order to get her under control.

[Back against wall]

Re: Lee Sang-hyeok: On how I reached enlightenment

Thank you so much for accepting me, as did God.
I hope we all get along well, I'm pretty caucasian when I'm texting.

Two things concern me:
How rude of me, a cautious welcome to you.

1. Being thankful for "Being Accepted" is extremely presumptuous.
2. What sort of witchcraft is it that a Koran (it's spelt Koran not Korea) reading Arabic Woman can turn caucasian when using an electronic device? This is rather alarming and I am hoping one of our Ministers or professors can get to the bottom of this.

However. I will be keeping up with this thread you have created using your "Magic" in hope to watch a process of enlightenment.

May God take you soon.
Brother BAW.

[tedalmos]

Re: Lee Sang-hyeok: On how I reached enlightenment

hello chinaman is you wanna be saved first get plastic surgery to make your eyes normal, then learn english since you know god hates buddha worshipping chinks god bless

[I Man Rastafari]

Re: Lee Sang-hyeok: On how I reached enlightenment

We have a lot of Chinese people in Jamaica. They are the ones who bring the guns and sell them. They own the stores that the Hindus don't own. They talk funny- You want I sell you big discount is the only English they know except for -no and ok. I don't know how to tell if a Chinese man is from Korea or China or Cambodia. They all look the same to me. I have seen a few Chinese Rastas and Hindus too. They look funny with dreads oh yes.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Lee Sang-hyeok: On how I reached enlightenment

Welcome to God's favorite forum!

What I always wondered about, how do you deal with the smell?

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Lee Sang-hyeok: On how I reached enlightenment

hello chinaman is you wanna be saved first get plastic surgery to make your eyes normal, then learn english since you know god hates buddha worshipping chinks god bless

Listen you little cur, I'm only going to warn you once: We have a zero-tolerance policy towards racism here.

The next time you refer to a good Chinaman as a "chink," or make disparaging remarks about his epicanthic folds, I'm going to see to it you get suspended from this forum!

[skt1faker]

Re: Lee Sang-hyeok: On how I reached enlightenment

Thank you for your support, Mr. Faith_Machine! I'm used to this kind of racism all the time, I wish I was born caucasian, but I learned that if one keeps praying and spreading God's word, the Lord will surely grant me a white Heaven. Perhaps it is not too late for me. My church is Yoido Full Gospel Church, and it is huge and beautiful, my pastor's name is Reverend Lee Young-Hoon. I still don't have a driver's license though and I don't have any gun, since the law here is unfortunately different... I hope I can come clean to this forum despite my rice-loving attitude! Looking forward to a good friendship and teachings from you God's people!

[Youth Minister Harry]

Re: Lee Sang-hyeok: On how I reached enlightenment

I wish I was born caucasian, but I learned that if one keeps praying and spreading God's word, the Lord will surely grant me a white Heaven.

How wonderful, Mr. Lee! I agree that praying is the right way to solve serious problems like not being white enough. God has shown us time and again that prayer can change a person from one type into another. For example, if you have a baby girl, instead of executing her the way your kind normally would, simply pray for her to change into a boy and watch your prayer be answered as it has been for so many hundreds of true believers world-wide!

Landover baptist already has a very successful Ex-Negro program. I wonder if we have an ex-chinaman program too. If not, we certainly need one! Perhaps you'll be our first graduate!

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Lee Sang-hyeok: On how I reached enlightenment

Youth Minister Harry, let's not forget that Asians are the model minority, though. As long as you can keep them away from opium dens, they work hard, get good grades in school, and don't go around sagging their pants and drinking malt liquor like certain other groups I could mention.

I think God will continue to bless Lee Sang-hyeok in ways we can't even imagine!

[skt1faker]

Re: Lee Sang-hyeok: On how I reached enlightenment

I thank God and yourselves for accepting me so warmly. It is wonderful how helpful is God's favorite country, USA. Thank you so much for the support you are offering me and my own country. I hope we can join forces soon to invade North Korea and destroy those communist pigs...

Bless you all

[Basilissa]

Re: Lee Sang-hyeok: On how I reached enlightenment

I thank God and yourselves for accepting me so warmly. It is wonderful how helpful is God's favorite country, USA. Thank you so much for the support you are offering me and my own country. I hope we can join forces soon to invade North Korea and destroy those communist pigs...

Bless you all

Thank you, dear. I dream of the day when we invade North Korea and make all these people into good Christians as well. This is what God wants, after all:

Mark 16:15-16
15 And he said unto them, Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature.
16 He that believeth and is baptized shall be saved; but he that believeth not shall be damned.

And we will convert people to the Only True Religion whether they want it or not:

Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.