Hello, I'm New

[Hummingbird]

Hello everyone,I'm 23, and I have created an account to answer to a thread I came across while browsing Google. I'm not big into religious things despite having being christened (is this the right word ?) at birth.


Yet I must say that I have a few questions about religion to which I can't find a definitive answer. I will make threads about those later.






Thank you.

[Basilissa]

Re: Hello, I'm New

Hello everyone,I'm 23, and I have created an account to answer to a thread I came across while browsing Google. I'm not big into religious things despite having being christened (is this the right word ?) at birth.

Yet I must say that I have a few questions about religion to which I can't find a definitive answer. I will make threads about those later.

Thank you.

Hello and to our forum. While you cannot create new threads at this point outside of the introduction forum, you are free to post in every thread.

I hope we can answer some of your questions, but you really should read the Bible to make up your mind about Christianity. Most Christians treat the Bible like a license agreement - just scroll down without reading and mindlessly click "I Agree." If they bothered to read the whole thing they would realize that agreeing to the terms without knowing the terms is a big mistake.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Hello, I'm New

Welcome friend, we are always looking for souls that have been lead astray by false religions and hollow promises of an eternity of bliss.
I think you should read our syllabus for new posters as written by Pastor Billy-Reuben. It really explains all you need to know as far as our beliefs. It also outlines what is expected as far as your behavior on these forums.

Here are your rights as articulated by Dr. Enobarbus.

New members are requested to make an ful, complete and all encompassing introduction for themselves.

We always encourage everyone to back up all claims with scripture from the Holy Bible.

Chances are the question you want to have answered has been asked before. I would be sure to use the search function before diving head first into people who are tired of hearing the same question over and over.

[Hummingbird]

Re: Hello, I'm New

Thank you.






Do you want me to re-do a thread with a better introduction ? I can do it, if you want to, it doesn't bother me.
In which thread I could ask away my various questions ?


(Can we edit our messages ?)

[Basilissa]

Re: Hello, I'm New

Thank you.

Do you want me to re-do a thread with a better introduction ? I can do it, if you want to, it doesn't bother me.
In which thread I could ask away my various questions ?

(Can we edit our messages ?)

Your introduction is OK as it is. You can use the search option to find threads appropriate for your questions. No, you cannot edit your posts at this time.

[Didymus Much]

Re: Hello, I'm New

I'm not big into religious things despite having being christened (is this the right word ?) at birth...

You could ask your family why they felt comfortable forcing you to engage in a religious ritual that you didn't consent to (or agree with) before you were even able to articulate those feelings. You can also be glad that you're female and weren't genitally mutilated (circumcised) for no reason and without consent at the same time.

But don't worry too much about that. It's a meaningless splashing of water and some arcane mumbling that Jesus (according to the Bible) doesn't recognize as having any validity:

Mark 16:16 "He that believeth and is baptized shall be saved; but he that believeth not shall be damned."

See? Believing comes first. You have to know just how foul, vile, evil, and degenerate you are without the Light of Jesus guiding your way, and that means being an adult. Do you really expect babies to acknowledge that they deserve to burn in Hell forever because they haven't accepted Jesus yet?

...I have a few questions about religion to which I can't find a definitive answer...

Please use the "Search" function before creating new threads. With nearly 100,000 threads to choose from, you're sure to find something relevant.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Hello, I'm New

Thank you.

Do you want me to re-do a thread with a better introduction ? I can do it, if you want to, it doesn't bother me.
In which thread I could ask away my various questions ?

(Can we edit our messages ?)

Please, do a complete introduction and explain yourself and life in complete detail. We can get to know you better and will be in a more informed position in which to proffer advice and steer you to True Salvation(tm).

You do want to have Jesus be your Savior, right? Will you do what ever it takes not to end up in Hell and be tortured for all of eternity?

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Hello, I'm New

Hello Hummer,

May I ask how old you are?


And when are you planning to upload a profile pic?


It's always nice to be able to put a face to the name, you see.


Yes indeedy. Always very nice.

[Jim C. Lombardo]

Re: Hello, I'm New

Hello Hummingbird,

I reckon you enjoy humming. Have you considered giving Jesus a sweet hummer? A sweet Baptist gospel tune would be a good start.

[BrotherLarry]

Re: Hello, I'm New

Mr. Hummingbird,


I think it's important to understand that "religion" has nothing to do with the mission of Landover Baptist Church. We are followers of the living GOD, dedicated to the precepts of His Son, Jesus Christ. We practice Baptist Christianity here, not religion.


My life's work is dedicated to ensuring that all horses and asses have healthy mouths, but my calling is to ensure I can get as many gay men on their knees as possible. I spend almost every moment outside of work in fellowship with these men and I've seen them cry out to God while I minister to them. This just keeps me coming back for more because I know I am pleasing my LORD. Just as Paul devoted his time to teaching young Timothy, I enjoy finding as many Timothys as I can, sending them epistles (via Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, email, and other social media) and inviting them to get on their knees with me.


There are others here who share my zeal for the homer population (Brother Porter, for one). Why do we do this? Because we know that soon, the clouds are going to part and our Redeemer will be saddled on a Great White Horse which I myself will personally care for in eternity (The Lord told me so). I want as many souls to join that Heavenly throng as possible. The fashionable, expertly tailored white robes that we'll all enjoy in Glory will glow in the light of God's bright countenance - a far cry from the darkness of this earthly plane.


I will pray for you and I hope you, too, will one day learn the truths of Christianity. We love sharing these truths and we live them daily. You can, too!


BrotherLarry


On a side note, Brother Lombardo: I would love to fellowship with you some fine day.

[Ronaldo Cristiano]

Re: Hello, I'm New

Hello everyone,I'm 23, and I have created an account to answer to a thread I came across while browsing Google. I'm not big into religious things despite having being christened (is this the right word ?) at birth.


Yet I must say that I have a few questions about religion to which I can't find a definitive answer. I will make threads about those later.






Thank you.

I can see this is the origin of your trauma. How uncomfortable it must been! Your mother having to go throuhg a bauptism while trying to expel her (..or..Your) placenta. Must not been very comfortable.


Have you anything else which is strange? If you have then remember:





Philemon 1:22But withal prepare me also a lodging: for I trust that through your prayers I shall be given unto you.