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Howdy everyone! My name is Justamop, and I am from Albertville Alabama. I have been looking for a home church for a number of years, but I have not found one that teaches, and preaches the true-blue gospel. A good friend of mine recommended Landover Baptist to me, and said I should check the church out, and I am encouraged by the truth that I have seen preached, and taught at this wonderful church. I want to be part of your church so as to be in the company of true christians, and not this unsaved, watered down, warm fuzzy feeling, chery pickin, self-centered, and counterfiet version of christians I have had to deal with in the past. Glory to god I have finally found the place where Jesus is truly glorified, and taught. It is also a place where I can be safe from the unsaved trash I have had to deal with on a daily basis. Glory! I hope you will accept me into this wonderful chruch.
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Psalm 50:22 Now consider this, ye that forget God, lest I tear you in pieces, and there be none to deliver.
Deuteronomy32:35 To me belongeth vengeance and recompence; their foot shall slide in due time: for the day of their calamity is at hand, and the things that shall come upon them make haste.
Jerimiah 13:14 And I will dash them one against another, even the fathers and the sons together, saith the LORD: I will not pity, nor spare, nor have mercy, but destroy them.
Numbers 32:23 But if ye will not do so, behold, ye have sinned against the LORD: and be sure your sin will find you out.
Leviticus24:14 Bring forth him that hath cursed without the camp; and let all that heard him lay their hands upon his head, and let all the congregation stone him.
Ephesians5:5 For this ye know, that no whoremonger, nor unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, hath any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.5:6 Let no man deceive you with vain words: for because of these things cometh the wrath of God upon the children of disobedience. 5:7 Be not ye therefore partakers with them. -
Re: Howdy I am Justamop.
Please tell us about yourself. What kind of a name is mop? Can we assume that it's your favorite cleaning utensil?
How old are you? What's the problem with your local churches? Surely there must be one Independant Baptist Church in your area. What does your husband say about it?
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!! -
Re: Howdy I am Justamop.
It is a wnodreful chruch indeed is Landover.Originally posted by Justamop View Post
I take it that you are prepared to use the armor and sword of Christ in equal measure when withstanding the onslaught of the less than Godly? That you will uphold and promote God's Law, work towards a Theocracy, first in the USA and then worldwide, and that you wholeheartedly support
The Landover Baptist Faith and Message statement
"The Holy Bible, KJV1611, was written by men divinely inspired and is God's revelation of Himself to man. It is a perfect treasure of divine instruction. It has God for its author, salvation for its end, and truth, without any mixture of error, for its matter. Therefore, all Scripture therein is totally true and trustworthy.”
So, what is your stance on anti-triclavianism?sigpic
Author of such illuminating essays as,
“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”
Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.Comment
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Re: Howdy I am Justamop.
Jesus be Praised!
I must say young man that it is very nice to have a good God Fearing disciple join us and our flock. Welcome to God's own church, Landover Baptist, where the Worthwhile worship.
Now that you are with us I'd like to point out that in order to be truly beloved of us and Jesus Christ, you should remember what is truly important:
8.Deuteronomy 12:6
And thither ye shall bring your burnt offerings, and your sacrifices, and your tithes, and heave offerings of your hand, and your vows, and your freewill offerings, and the firstlings of your herds and of your flocks:
You need not bother with the burnt offerings. Save the lambs and fowl for our Landover Bar B Q get togethers. They are always welcome.
2.Leviticus 27:30
And all the tithe of the land, whether of the seed of the land, or of the fruit of the tree, is the LORD's: it is holy unto the LORD.
3.Leviticus 27:31
And if a man will at all redeem ought of his tithes, he shall add thereto the fifth part thereof.
4.Leviticus 27:32
And concerning the tithe of the herd, or of the flock, even of whatsoever passeth under the rod, the tenth shall be holy unto the LORD.
You will soon be contacted by a Landover accountant to discuss your job and earnings so that we may seat you according to your station. The more you offer to Jesus, the better the view, of course.
Please have your bank details ready. We accept major credit card donations. We can also arrange direct debit of your bank account each week so that you needn't worry about such triffles.
Do you own your own home? Please be sure to have the records of all your assets handy. Not just those you show the government.
I hope you enjoy your spiritual guidance as we, The Worthwhile, help you on your way.
One more thing, do you own firearms? If so you may like to think about applying to The Department of Faith for deputisation. We often have atheist demon scum and niggras trying to enter our grounds. Some of our DOF members use these situations to improve their aim so that when they seek elk and deer, they have more luck.
Welcome!Comment
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Re: Howdy I am Justamop.
Forgive my suspicions, but we get many Godmockers in here. Did your parents conceive you while listening to this song? Are they/you Godless Norwegisns?
Yours In Christ,
Gabriel Reproba, Esq. (Lawyer for the Lord)
Further reading to help you become a True Christian™
Stoning Sinners: A How-To Guide
Scientific Study: Bible is NOT "All About Love"
The One Sin Jesus Says He Won't EVER Forgive!
Should we only follow SOME of the Bible?
How will YOU sacrifice your kids?
20 Questions To See If Your Son Is A Fag
God: Dress Like A Whore...Get Raped!
Bible: If You Love Your Wife, Beat Her!
Logic and Bible Agree: Gay is a choice!
Nursery Rhymes Teach kids that Christ is Lord!
There is no such thing as an "agnostic!"
Science: People are Only Islamic Because They are Depressed!
Reading only the parts of the Bible your pastor tells you to (those that make you feel warm and fuzzy) is nothing but mental and spiritual masturbation. Read the WHOLE Bible to find out what Christianity is REALLY all about! Only then can you talk to us about why we try so hard to save people from Hell.Comment
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Re: Howdy I am Justamop.
Justamop is a nickname that was given to me by a lost soul that I converted to true christianity, glory to god. He called me his favorite god-fearin mop that would mop the damnation right outta folks. I am 31, and male. There are a few independent baptist churches around here, but they refuse to preach the true gospel, and that is what I am lookin for. Praise the sweet name of Jesus.sigpic
Psalm 50:22 Now consider this, ye that forget God, lest I tear you in pieces, and there be none to deliver.
Deuteronomy32:35 To me belongeth vengeance and recompence; their foot shall slide in due time: for the day of their calamity is at hand, and the things that shall come upon them make haste.
Jerimiah 13:14 And I will dash them one against another, even the fathers and the sons together, saith the LORD: I will not pity, nor spare, nor have mercy, but destroy them.
Numbers 32:23 But if ye will not do so, behold, ye have sinned against the LORD: and be sure your sin will find you out.
Leviticus24:14 Bring forth him that hath cursed without the camp; and let all that heard him lay their hands upon his head, and let all the congregation stone him.
Ephesians5:5 For this ye know, that no whoremonger, nor unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, hath any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.5:6 Let no man deceive you with vain words: for because of these things cometh the wrath of God upon the children of disobedience. 5:7 Be not ye therefore partakers with them.Comment
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Re: Howdy I am Justamop.
Dear members, you needn't worry. Justamop's father called me about his son recently and asked if I'd take him under my wing. I recommended he join Landover Baptist. (It seems there was some trouble with the mayor's daughter, a barn, bottle of bourbon and the fire that resulted from a rather ill conceived idea).
His father and I go back some years. He was one of my benefactors when I was living in Papua New Guinea. Many a witch received edification thanks to the donations sent to me through the family business.
Indeed Rosemary (RIP) was a great friend to the family before being slaughtered by the Islamic Indonesian army on one of their incursions into Papua to rid the area of Christianity.
I am very pleased to welcome a friend of my family to the wonders of Landover Baptist.
GLORY!Comment
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Yours In Christ,
Gabriel Reproba, Esq. (Lawyer for the Lord)
Further reading to help you become a True Christian™
Stoning Sinners: A How-To Guide
Scientific Study: Bible is NOT "All About Love"
The One Sin Jesus Says He Won't EVER Forgive!
Should we only follow SOME of the Bible?
How will YOU sacrifice your kids?
20 Questions To See If Your Son Is A Fag
God: Dress Like A Whore...Get Raped!
Bible: If You Love Your Wife, Beat Her!
Logic and Bible Agree: Gay is a choice!
Nursery Rhymes Teach kids that Christ is Lord!
There is no such thing as an "agnostic!"
Science: People are Only Islamic Because They are Depressed!
Reading only the parts of the Bible your pastor tells you to (those that make you feel warm and fuzzy) is nothing but mental and spiritual masturbation. Read the WHOLE Bible to find out what Christianity is REALLY all about! Only then can you talk to us about why we try so hard to save people from Hell.Comment
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Re: Howdy I am Justamop.
Yes Pastor Ezekiel, I am ready to do all that you have mentioned.
My current stance on triclavianism is that Jesus was peirced with three nails, and punctured on the left side, but if I am wrong in this I am open for correction. Glory to god!sigpic
Psalm 50:22 Now consider this, ye that forget God, lest I tear you in pieces, and there be none to deliver.
Deuteronomy32:35 To me belongeth vengeance and recompence; their foot shall slide in due time: for the day of their calamity is at hand, and the things that shall come upon them make haste.
Jerimiah 13:14 And I will dash them one against another, even the fathers and the sons together, saith the LORD: I will not pity, nor spare, nor have mercy, but destroy them.
Numbers 32:23 But if ye will not do so, behold, ye have sinned against the LORD: and be sure your sin will find you out.
Leviticus24:14 Bring forth him that hath cursed without the camp; and let all that heard him lay their hands upon his head, and let all the congregation stone him.
Ephesians5:5 For this ye know, that no whoremonger, nor unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, hath any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.5:6 Let no man deceive you with vain words: for because of these things cometh the wrath of God upon the children of disobedience. 5:7 Be not ye therefore partakers with them.Comment
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Re: Howdy I am Justamop.
Praise Jesus then. Any friend of Pastor Gargalo's is a friend of mine.
Are there any particular Scriptures that are personally meaningful for you? My favorites are listed in my signature below.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!Comment
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Re: Howdy I am Justamop.
I welcome you in Christ's abundant love. We need more Christians to mop the damnation out of all of the hellbound trash who come to God's favorite discussion board to ridicule Christianity and the King James Bible.This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.
Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance
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