Save Me Lord

[hopeneverdies]

Jesus you're so good with me, thank you for helping me find a place in this Godless hellish internet a place where there are people like here

Im not american, but I accept your country as being the true enlightned country by God, God Bless America!

Im a 19 years old man who serves jesus and hopes to be a better christian everyday!

Praise the Lord!

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Save Me Lord

I can tell you need Salvation™ as you did not capitalize 'American'.

Nevertheless, tell us a little more about yourself,

• which church do you attend,
• in which part of the army do you serve
• How many children you you and your wife have and
• what is your favorite Bible verse? (Don't give me no crap about "They're all good, I can't choose...")

[hopeneverdies]

Re: Save Me Lord

Im ever so sorry for not capitalizing American, il edit it right away good sir.

I attend a small, True Christian Church a little far away from where I live, because Im surrounded with catholic churches, usually 30 people come every sunday.

Im portuguese, so I cant attend the Army selected by Our Saviour, I regret that everyday, I seek salvation, I damn the fact I was born in this country.

My wife is expecting her first soldier for Jesus, we're hoping we can go to America so he can be born there, the land of the Lord.

Galatians 6:8 The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Save Me Lord

Landover Baptist Faith and Message statement "The Holy Bible, KJV1611, was written by men divinely inspired and is God's revelation of Himself to man. It is a perfect treasure of divine instruction. It has God for its author, salvation for its end, and truth, without any mixture of error, for its matter. Therefore, all Scripture therein is totally true and trustworthy.”

Being foreign is no reason for not quoting from KJV 1611!

Ga:6:8: For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting.

A good choice, Galatians is a much under-used Book.

I have to tell you that there are no True Christian™ Churches in Portugal, your nearest one is run by Pastor Mayfield. He has an outreach mission to The Communist Czech Republic. I suppose you can drive over there every Sunday without much difficulty. (People do have cars in Portugal, don't they?)

I'm glad you have a happy wife and that she is with child.

OK, why do you think that Jesus directed you to Landover? What sins have you committed that you now turn to Him?

[hopeneverdies]

Re: Save Me Lord

We do have cars, I'll have to go to that church if mine isnt Godworthy then, with all my pleasure brother, thank you for guiding me!

I feel like I own too much to Jesus, for the simplest things, for being affortuned with my Faith, with my good christian family.

My biggest sin is, maybe, or definetly, having parents who did not take me to be born in America, the country Our Lord chose. Other than that, I try to follow everything by the Holiest Book.

[James Dewitt]

Re: Save Me Lord

We don't have room for every one in America. Landover Baptist Church has many
True Christian members spread across Gods great earth. While they do not live here, the members do have a mission. They spread the Word of God and Salvation to the unsaved trash of the world.

Praise Jesus, and may He protect and guide my brothers and sisters in far away lands on their mission.

[hopeneverdies]

Re: Save Me Lord

I understand that Brother, I just love your Blessed Country too much, and I would give my best to serve it like I serve Jesus, the best way.

[Noah Dint]

Re: Save Me Lord

I understand that Brother, I just love your Blessed Country too much, and I would give my best to serve it like I serve Jesus, the best way.

Have you thought of investing in your soul by investing in an airplane ticket?

-ND

[hopeneverdies]

Re: Save Me Lord

If I am more blessed than I already am, the Lord will give me the joy of getting these tickets next month!

[James Hutchins]

Re: Save Me Lord

Have you anything to say about all the infractions you have gotten?
How do you plan to make good on them? God is standing by, His Almighty Toes are tapping impatiently.

[hopeneverdies]

Re: Save Me Lord

I've got 2 of them, one I believe Pastor Ezekiel didnt see that I've already posted in the introductions section, which was the first thing I did when I joined.

The other has no excuse, I will no longer forget to use the shift key when typping God's favourite country!

[True Disciple]

Re: Save Me Lord

If I am more blessed than I already am, the Lord will give me the joy of getting these tickets next month!

Well, It can't hurt to have some True Christians™ in a gay-filled, demonic hellhole like Portugal, to preach to the heathens, that they may be converted to the True Faith™ and tithing to Landover. I myself live in Holland, where I'm probably the only True Christian™ left. The place is crawling with fags, demons and other filth, but I'm convinced that I can lead some of them to Salvation©. We have a lot of work to do.

Welcome to God's Favorite Forum, Brother!

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Save Me Lord

Well, It can't hurt to have some True Christians™ in a gay-filled, demonic hellhole like Portugal, to preach to the heathens, that they may be converted to the True Faith™

Sounds like a lot of trouble. Can't we just drop some boxes with Bibles on them?

I myself live in Holland

Do they even have Bibles in Holland? Doesn't secular law there make it impossible to lead a proper Christian life?

[True Disciple]

Re: Save Me Lord

Sounds like a lot of trouble. Can't we just drop some boxes with Bibles on them?

I don't think many of them can read at all, let alone reading Bibles in Godly English! However, we might, of course, include dictionaries as well. The problem remains, however, that many of the Bibles probably will never be found, which is a terrible waste of Bibles and church money.

The point is, I think it is cheaper to order Brother Hopeneverdies to visit every single Portuguese house and throw in their windows with Holy Bibles and dictionaries. As a bonus, Brother Hopeneverdies can prove at once whether or not he is a faithful True Christian™, which includes obeying whatever the Pastors order him to do.

Do they even have Bibles in Holland? Doesn't secular law there make it impossible to lead a proper Christian life?

They have liberal, perverted versions of the Holy Bible, which teach homosexual, communist and evolutionist philosophies. Don't try to read them, Brother! I did once, after I attained Salvation©, and was filled with the Rage of the Holy Spirit. So I grabbed hold of everything within arm's reach, which were Dutch cheeses, about 5 kilograms each, and started tossing them at the local bookstore. I was jailed for two weeks, which put me behind on my soul-winning schedule. All because I read the wrong Bible! I've learned my lesson that day.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Save Me Lord

You clearly should have used American cheese!