Greetings friends.

[Otis Krump]

My name is Otis.

I'm a proud baptist and rarely leave the house without my KJV.

I've been a Christian for 15 of my 20 years and am excited to have finally found a place to fellowship with fellow believers.

I don't claim to know all the answers, yet, but I have proven myself in verbal fistcuffs against the mormon filth that wander these streets. Many a mormon has left this house greatly puzzled and seeking the truth.

Criticism welcomed (but probably ignored unless you're a True Christian) as I am constantly seeking to better myself.

[Nobar King]

Re: Greetings friends.

They have Mormons in NZ?

[Otis Krump]

Re: Greetings friends.

Unfortunately we do.

They spread like a plague all over the world.

And they're matched in annoyance only by "Mormon-lite" Jehovah's Witnesses.

Those poor fools, can they not see that they're on the fast track to eternal damnation?

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Greetings friends.

Welcome to our forum Otis! What is New Zealand?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Greetings friends.

Welcome to our forum Otis! What is New Zealand?

Don't be rude to our new guest, Brother. New Zealand is a colony of Australia. I think that's where they keep the sheep-botherers and and the more retarded tribe of abos called "Maurice."



Welcome to God's favorite forum, Otis. What's your favorite Scripture?

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Greetings friends.

My name is Otis.

I'm a proud baptist and rarely leave the house without my KJV.

I've been a Christian for 15 of my 20 years [...]

Disturbing, as you cannot be considered a Christian until Baptism and as you can't be baptized until you are old enough to grasp the concept (say 16 or 17), in which denomination were you brought up?

[Otis Krump]

Re: Greetings friends.

Thanks for the warm welcome guys.

In answer to your questions;

New Zealand is more like Australia's little brother. When Australia was being used as a "hell on Earth" style prison for all of England's scum, New Zealand was colonised by fair-minded and peace Europeans. A treaty was made with the Cannibalistic Heathen natives, promising equal rights and fair treatment. They haven't stopped complaining since.

I don't havea favourite verse... it's a passage.

Acts 5:1-10

1But a certain man named Ananias, with Sapphira his wife, sold a possession,

2And kept back part of the price, his wife also being privy to it, and brought a certain part, and laid it at the apostles' feet.
3But Peter said, Ananias, why hath Satan filled thine heart to lie to the Holy Ghost, and to keep back part of the price of the land?
4Whiles it remained, was it not thine own? and after it was sold, was it not in thine own power? why hast thou conceived this thing in thine heart? thou hast not lied unto men, but unto God.
5And Ananias hearing these words fell down, and gave up the ghost: and great fear came on all them that heard these things.
6And the young men arose, wound him up, and carried him out, and buried him.
7And it was about the space of three hours after, when his wife, not knowing what was done, came in.
8And Peter answered unto her, Tell me whether ye sold the land for so much? And she said, Yea, for so much.
9Then Peter said unto her, How is it that ye have agreed together to tempt the Spirit of the Lord? behold, the feet of them which have buried thy husband are at the door, and shall carry thee out. 10Then fell she down straightway at his feet, and yielded up the ghost: and the young men came in, and found her dead, and, carrying her forth, buried her by her husband.

It serves as a reminder to always give God his dues, and that when questioned by the authorities my future wife will probably lie.


I accepted Jesus as my personal Saviour when I was just 5 years old. Which got me one foot in the door and earned me the label Christian. Last year I finally took the 'plunge' and was baptised in front of 300 people. I'm a real Christian now, and proud of it.

[Professor Bessemer]

Re: Greetings friends.

Welcome friend. I believe the Pastor was referring to the New Zealand version of our red skinned indians in his post. They are known as Mauries, and they are like the Abos of Australia, only they eat human flesh and have enormous tongues. Frightening to say the least, and irretrievably damned of course.

But our new visitor seems to speak American English reasonably well, so I assume he is caucasian. Tell more about yourself friend. How long have you been married and how many sons has your wife blessed you with?

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Greetings friends.

New Zealand is more like Australia's little brother

That is interesting, I didn't know that. Do you also have smaller BBQs then?

natives, promising equal rights and fair treatment. They haven't stopped complaining since.

We have the same problem here with so called "native Americans". They never stopped whining either.

Last year I finally took the 'plunge' and was baptised in front of 300 people. I'm a real Christian now, and proud of it.

Amen to that Brother!

[Otis Krump]

Re: Greetings friends.

There's the problem, it's so hard to find a True Christian women so far from America. Some women here even show their midriff. Naturally I avert my gaze until the temptation leaves the room.




Our BBQs may be smaller (slightly) but at least we have the good sense to cover ours with steak, unlike those pansy Australians and their Shrimp.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Greetings friends.

Our BBQs may be smaller (slightly) but at least we have the good sense to cover ours with steak, unlike those pansy Australians and their Shrimp.

Amen to that brother! Shrimp is for gays. Real man eat real meat. I shoot my meat with my Smith and Wesson 500. Do they allow guns in New Zealand?

[Aristotle]

right side

Don't they drive on the wrong side of the road in New Zealand? The BIBLE (KJV) commands us to drive on the RIGHT side.

Proverbs 12:22 In the way of RIGHTeousness there is life; along that path is immortality.

[Otis Krump]

Re: Greetings friends.

There are guns laws in place that prevent most people (the black ones) getting their hands on firearms.

All you have to do is apply for a hunting license, pay a small fee (thus excluding the black people) and promise not to go on a killing spree.

[True Disciple]

Re: Greetings friends.

There's the problem, it's so hard to find a True Christian women so far from America. Some women here even show their midriff. Naturally I avert my gaze until the temptation leaves the room.

I understand your problem. Same here! I live in the Godless Nether Lands, and it's hard to find women here who wear any cloths at all! Often when I'm driving, I have to read the Bible while driving to rebuke the demons of temptation, which enter my body when I look at what is moving on the sidewalks. Naturally, this often results in traffic accidents, as I cannot keep my attention on the road. Terribly irresponsible of those ladies!

There are guns laws in place that prevent most people (the black ones) getting their hands on firearms.

Well, in that respect your country is a lot more civilized than mine! Of course, I spend also a lot of the time in Freehold, as there are no other True Christians(tm) in the Nether Lands...

Anyway, welcome to the Forums, Brother!

[SayvedByTheLord]

Re: Greetings friends.

My name is Otis.

I'm a proud baptist and rarely leave the house without my KJV.

I've been a Christian for 15 of my 20 years and am excited to have finally found a place to fellowship with fellow believers.

I don't claim to know all the answers, yet, but I have proven myself in verbal fistcuffs against the mormon filth that wander these streets. Many a mormon has left this house greatly puzzled and seeking the truth.

Criticism welcomed (but probably ignored unless you're a True Christian) as I am constantly seeking to better myself.

Hello friend, I see you hail from that Australian penal colony. I have always found it amazing how you can function down there with blood constantly rushing to your head.