Hello everybody

[peaceandlies]

My name is Avery. My parents are Christians and they introduced me Jesus the moment I was born, and I have followed his teaching ever since.

My favorite verse from the bible is

Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live,

due to an unfortunate friendship with someone who turned out to be a witch.

I hope that with your help and guidance, I can learn even more about Jesus's teaching.

Amen.

[Elijah71]

Re: Hello everybody

Welcome and take a step forward to become one and only True Christian. It's very easy, just read the Bible. Everything is explained there. King James bible is the only book you need, because other Bibles aren't His will. Those are just pathetic attempts to take all credit from our great saviour. Personaly I believe, that God spoke directly through King James and that's why you should forget all dirty and crazy things what your parents taught you.

If you are not American, you should shame first and then ask forgiveness from the God and sweet Jesus.

If you are very nice and promise to follow every step on King James bible, welcome aboard. This is not playground, this is for the people who knows what is right way of living.

[Abigail]

Re: Hello everybody

My name is Avery. My parents are Christians and they introduced me Jesus the moment I was born, and I have followed his teaching ever since.

My favorite verse from the bible is

Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live,

due to an unfortunate friendship with someone who turned out to be a witch.

I hope that with your help and guidance, I can learn even more about Jesus's teaching.

Amen.

Hello and welcome!
I'm glad to hear you found out that your false friend was a witch. You did burn her right???
What church do your parents go to?
Have they picked out a wife for you yet?

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Hello everybody

My name is Avery.

We'll try not to label you.

My parents are Christians and they introduced me Jesus the moment I was born, and I have followed his teaching ever since.

And this is as it should be.

My favorite verse from the bible is

Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live,

due to an unfortunate friendship with someone who turned out to be a witch.

Well, that was no coincidence - proof of God if ever there was any! I am amazed, yet not amazed because this is what God does all the time, right?

I hope that with your help and guidance, I can learn even more about Jesus's teaching.

Amen.

You have come to the right place.

[SayvedByTheLord]

Re: Hello everybody

Welcome peaceableundies to our Godly Forum™ You will be asked for your favorite scripture so prepare yourself with the best one.

What is the most disgusting thing you have ever placed in your mouth?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Hello everybody

My name is Avery. My parents are Christians and they introduced me Jesus the moment I was born, and I have followed his teaching ever since.

My favorite verse from the bible is

Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live,

due to an unfortunate friendship with someone who turned out to be a witch.

I hope that with your help and guidance, I can learn even more about Jesus's teaching.

Amen.

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

[Elijah71]

Re: Hello everybody

Good morning! Thank you Pastor Ezekiel about these wise words. It always feels good, when i wake up and God shows his existence nobly. This can be only sign from The God himself. Morning is very important happening anyway, especially when you wake up with The God.

Dreams are just God's way to clear our heads, out from those disgraceful things and thoughts. One good example is Catholic priests. I bet first thing what comes up into their mind when they wake up, is how to use poor babies for their advantage. That's false religion isn't it? That's not even close what God says and what Bible says.

Personally i don't find any single entry, where God tells us to rape children and eat babies. When it's raining, it's The God who is crying because of you. When the sun is shining, it's God who shows His love to True Christians.

There is already so many proofs that God is here and everywhere. Useless to question me, because you can always ask straight from The God. Just read King James 1611 Bible and you know what God wants us to do.

[Bible Student]

Re: Hello everybody

My name is Avery. My parents are Christians and they introduced me Jesus the moment I was born, and I have followed his teaching ever since.

My favorite verse from the bible is

Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live,

due to an unfortunate friendship with someone who turned out to be a witch.

I hope that with your help and guidance, I can learn even more about Jesus's teaching.

Amen.

I'm rather dubious of your intentions in coming to Landover Baptist Church. In your name you admit to being a liar. That does not coincide with the aims of being a True Christian(tm). Are you a catolick who emulates Eusebius the Liar?

Therefore I extend to you a tenuous Welcome Avery.

[Lost Sheep McUinnean]

Re: Hello everybody

Welcome Aviary. It's nice to see foreign trash coming along with good intentions.

Your English is flawless for a Dago. Where did you learn?
Which part of Spain are you in?
What do you think of bullfighting?
And cowfighting?
Do you share the passion of your fellow spics for cruelty to animals as a humorous part of local fiestas?

And since Spain is now the promiscuity capital of Europe how many STDs have you been cured of so far?

YIC, McUinnean, of that Ilk, preaching in your Godless Iberia.

[peaceandlies]

Re: Hello everybody

In response to the many questions posed to me:

My parents have certainly not picked out a wife for me because I'm female.

I live in Spain, but I was moved from England at a young age, which is why I speak english. I'm in the south east of Spain, and I don't like bullfighting much. I have no STDs because I'm a virgin.

My username is not to say that I am a liar, it is to say that we should never accept a lie (ie, that another God is real) just to find an illusion of peace.

Thankyou for your welcomes.

[Lost Sheep McUinnean]

Re: Hello everybody

In response to the many questions posed to me:

My parents have certainly not picked out a wife for me because I'm female.

I live in Spain, but I was moved from England at a young age, which is why I speak english. I'm in the south east of Spain, and I don't like bullfighting much. I have no STDs because I'm a virgin.

My username is not to say that I am a liar, it is to say that we should never accept a lie (ie, that another God is real) just to find an illusion of peace.

Thankyou for your welcomes.

Which part of South-East Spain?

And do you speak the local throat-disease also?

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Hello everybody

My parents have certainly not picked out a wife for me because I'm female.

Do you have your fathers permission to be here?

[peaceandlies]

Re: Hello everybody

I live in a smallish town in the province of Alicante called Torrevieja.

Yes, I do have permission to be here. My father thinks it will be educational for me.

[Lost Sheep McUinnean]

Re: Hello everybody

I live in a smallish town in the province of Alicante called Torrevieja.

Yes, I do have permission to be here. My father thinks it will be educational for me.

I know it well. Ugly den of a place to be honest. I'm currently not too far away. I'll be staying in Elche tomorrow, have some work to do in Orihuela and Murcia the day after before heading back to my own residence in another part of South East Spain. I'm fluent in both Spanish and the slightly less ugly local 'Valenciano' dialect of Catalan myself.
Yourself? Or are you the typical English ex-pat that can only speak one language - bad English (not even American.)??


At least you have the tourists to laugh at I suppose.

(Don't ask me the location - only my good friend Brother James Dewitt, his charming assistant Lycia and Rev. Jim Osbourne know the exact location. LBC confidential. )

[peaceandlies]

Re: Hello everybody

I hope you enjoy youself while you're in the area. I'm afraid I can't disagree with you about the the town. Also, I forgot to mention earlier, I speak spanish, and I can understand valenciano - mostly anyway.