How do i become a forum member?

[JonathanJ]

apparently im unsaved trash? :/ how do i get rid of this title? is there a quiz or something to confirm i am a christian?

[Sister Kitty]

Re: How do i become a forum member?

apparently im unsaved trash? :/ how do i get rid of this title? is there a quiz or something to confirm i am a christian?

Fill in your answers below. Quickly.

1. Name the four Gospels.
2. What is the longest book in the Bible?
3. Who wrote the Acts of the Apostles?
4. Which book says, "The wages of sin is death"?
5. How many people were on Noah's Ark?
6. What is the Golden Rule?
7. Put in chronological order: Daniel, Noah, Paul, Moses and David.
8. How many books are there in the Bible?
9. Who were the first two people?
10. Name the Ten Commandments.
11. Angels are: ghosts of dead people, children who died in infancy, genies, or invisible beings created by God?
12. Who was the brother of Jacob?
13. Who wrote Psalm 23?
14. Name three of Jesus' parables.
15. How many epistles were written by John?
16. Was Luke: a fisherman, an apostle, a doctor or a shepherd?
17. Which tribe did Moses belong to?
18. Is Daniel in the Old or the New Testament?
19. In what language was the New Testament written?
20. Faith is: a leap into the dark, trust in what God says, believing in something you know isn't true, or a religious feeling?
21. Who said, "It is more blessed to give than to receive"?
22. True or false: The apostles James and John were brothers.
23. Who were the three patriarchs?
24. Put in chronological order: Temple, Church, Tower of Babel, Tabernacle.
25. What did Jesus say were the two greatest commandments?
26. Name the first three kings of Israel.
27. Is Santa Claus in the Bible?
28. Give the name of at least one angel.
29. Who wrote the Book of Deuteronomy?
30. Did Jesus feed 4,000 or 5,000 people with the loaves and fishes?
31. How many Minor Prophets are there?
32. Which book says, "I am the resurrection and the life"?
33. Was Matthew: a carpenter, a centurion, a tax collector, or a priest?
34. Which Gospel records Jesus turning water into wine?
35. Is the Book of Hezekiah in the Old or the New Testament?
36. Name the twelve tribes of Israel.
37. Who was the oldest person in the Bible?
38. A saint is: a sinless person, an apostle, a pope, a Christian, an angel?
39. What is the longest chapter in the Bible?
40. Name the Five Books of Moses.
41. Who wrote the Book of Revelation?
42. Give three names or titles for Satan.
43. What kind of meat was eaten at the Passover?
44. Hallelujah means: I believe, hosanna, wow, praise the Lord, or amen?
45. Which book tells us the life of Samson?
46. What was the first language that Scripture was translated into?
47. What is the shortest verse in the Bible?
48. Name the twelve apostles.
49. Put in chronological order: the Crucifixion, the Flood, the Babylonian Captivity, and the Exodus.
50. Name someone who went to Heaven without dying.
51. Who will be raised from the dead: all men, Christians only, or angels?
52. True or false: We are saved by being baptized in water.
53. Name the Books of the New Testament.
54. Will we see God in Heaven?
55. Original Sin means: demon possession, Adam and Eve having sex, Eve eating the Forbidden Fruit, or our inheriting Adam's Sin?
56. Name three of Christ's miracles.
57. Which book says, "Spare the rod and spoil the child"?
58. In what language was the Old Testament written?
59. Is the Book of Hebrews in the Old or the New Testament?
60. Put in chronological order the nations that held Israel captive: Greece, Egypt, Babylon, Rome, Assyria, and Persia.
61. Christ means: Master, High Priest, Annointed, Savior, Lord, or Redeemer?
62. True or false: God will save someone if he has more good works than sins.
63. Where are the 10 Commandments located in the Bible?
64. Who wrote the Book of Ecclesiastes?
65. Which book says, "In the beginning God created the heavens and the Earth"?
66. Which tribe of Israel did Jesus belong to?
67. Name 3 of Israel's feasts or festivals.
68. Who was the greatest man before Jesus: David, Abraham, Solomon, John the Baptist, Moses or Adam?
69. Which book mentions the handwriting on the wall?
70. Who was the Emperor of Rome when Jesus was born: Herod, Caesar Augustus, Pilate, Nero, or Julius Caesar?
71. True or false: Moses led Israel into the Promised Land.
72. Being born again means: reincarnation, regeneration, redemption, or restitution?
73. Which book says, "God helps those who help themselves"?
74. Quote a Bible verse that proves Jesus is God.
75. Which Gospel mentions the Star of Bethlehem?
76. Was David: a prophet, a shepherd, a soldier, a musician, or a king?
77. What is the "New Jerusalem"?
78. What are the three divisions of the Old Testament?
79. Election means: God chose only some people to be saved, our parents dedicated us to God, or God chose those He knew would believe in Jesus?
80. Does the Bible contain many, a few, or no errors at all?
81. Is the Book of Enoch in the Old or the New Testament?
82. Put in chronological order: Jeremiah, Elijah, Samuel, Peter, Isaiah.
83. Church means: Temple, Christian building, called-out assembly, or nation?
84. Quote a Bible verse that teaches justification by faith alone.
85. Which is the greatest: hope, love or faith?
86. Which Gospel has the Parable of the Good Samaritan?
87. Hell is: a real place, a myth, here on Earth, Purgatory, or nowhere?
88. Put in chronological order: Sarah, Ruth, Mary, Eve, and Esther.
89. Which book says, "I am the Good Shepherd"?
90. Who could enter the Holy of Holies: the pope, Moses, a priest, an apostle, the High Priest, only angels?
91. Paul says we are justified by: faith, good works, or faith and good works?
92. What is the Pentateuch?
93. Which Gospel records the Parable of the Prodigal Son?
94. Where is it written, "Wives, submit to your husbands. Husbands, love your wives"?
95. Demons are: goblins, fallen angels, ghosts of dead people, or myths?
96. Who was Jesus' mother?
97. Which book says: "Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved"?
98. Whose wife was Jezebel?
99. Who baptized Jesus?
100. Quote a verse that teaches the doctrine of the Trinity.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: How do i become a forum member?

Excellent response, Sister Kitty! Johnathan, just so yo don't get your hopes up, please understand that answering every question correctly does not guarantee that you will be promoted to the status of Forum Member. It is merely one of the prerequisites.

[James Hutchins]

Re: How do i become a forum member?

Time is up. Sorry.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: How do i become a forum member?

A TRUE Christian would have answered the questions before Sister Kitty asked them

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: How do i become a forum member?

apparently im unsaved trash? :/ how do i get rid of this title? is there a quiz or something to confirm i am a christian?

When I got promoted, I had to drink strychnine and hold a copperhead rattlesnake. I also laid hands on an AIDS victim, and cured him of his homosexuality.
Mark 16:18

King James Version (KJV)


18They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover.

[JonathanJ]

Re: How do i become a forum member?

sorry i was at work :/

[James Hutchins]

Re: How do i become a forum member?

Well Jon, you ask a question, get an answer and claim you were at work? God and fighting heathens is a 24/7 job for us, you do not see any of us using such a lame excuse "Sorry, I cannot bother with God, I am too busy shortchanging housewives at Bed, Bath and Beyond'.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: How do i become a forum member?

sorry i was at work :/

Why post an apology instead of the answer?

I am getting the feeling you are not a Christian. And I don't believe you have worked, ever.

This is probably more like you:

[Sally Paulson]

apparently im unsaved trash? :/ how do i get rid of this title? is there a quiz or something to confirm i am a christian?

Stop robbing Jesus: tithe.

By the way, i deserve a promotion, don't you think? I gave some very generous donations during my last visit. I gave from the bottom of my heart. And I really mean bottom.
Posted via Mobile Device

[Sister Kitty]

Re: How do i become a forum member?

By the way, i deserve a promotion, don't you think?

For you, one who is already a forum member, you must provide appropriate scripture, and essay answers where necessary. If you pass, I will petition a pastor to consider your request. This basic quiz would take any of my 12 children less than 20 minutes. I will give you one hour. Proceed.


1. Name the four Gospels.
2. What is the longest book in the Bible?
3. Who wrote the Acts of the Apostles?
4. Which book says, "The wages of sin is death"?
5. How many people were on Noah's Ark?
6. What is the Golden Rule?
7. Put in chronological order: Daniel, Noah, Paul, Moses and David.
8. How many books are there in the Bible?
9. Who were the first two people?
10. Name the Ten Commandments.
11. Angels are: ghosts of dead people, children who died in infancy, genies, or invisible beings created by God?
12. Who was the brother of Jacob?
13. Who wrote Psalm 23?
14. Name three of Jesus' parables.
15. How many epistles were written by John?
16. Was Luke: a fisherman, an apostle, a doctor or a shepherd?
17. Which tribe did Moses belong to?
18. Is Daniel in the Old or the New Testament?
19. In what language was the New Testament written?
20. Faith is: a leap into the dark, trust in what God says, believing in something you know isn't true, or a religious feeling?
21. Who said, "It is more blessed to give than to receive"?
22. True or false: The apostles James and John were brothers.
23. Who were the three patriarchs?
24. Put in chronological order: Temple, Church, Tower of Babel, Tabernacle.
25. What did Jesus say were the two greatest commandments?
26. Name the first three kings of Israel.
27. Is Santa Claus in the Bible?
28. Give the name of at least one angel.
29. Who wrote the Book of Deuteronomy?
30. Did Jesus feed 4,000 or 5,000 people with the loaves and fishes?
31. How many Minor Prophets are there?
32. Which book says, "I am the resurrection and the life"?
33. Was Matthew: a carpenter, a centurion, a tax collector, or a priest?
34. Which Gospel records Jesus turning water into wine?
35. Is the Book of Hezekiah in the Old or the New Testament?
36. Name the twelve tribes of Israel.
37. Who was the oldest person in the Bible?
38. A saint is: a sinless person, an apostle, a pope, a Christian, an angel?
39. What is the longest chapter in the Bible?
40. Name the Five Books of Moses.
41. Who wrote the Book of Revelation?
42. Give three names or titles for Satan.
43. What kind of meat was eaten at the Passover?
44. Hallelujah means: I believe, hosanna, wow, praise the Lord, or amen?
45. Which book tells us the life of Samson?
46. What was the first language that Scripture was translated into?
47. What is the shortest verse in the Bible?
48. Name the twelve apostles.
49. Put in chronological order: the Crucifixion, the Flood, the Babylonian Captivity, and the Exodus.
50. Name someone who went to Heaven without dying.
51. Who will be raised from the dead: all men, Christians only, or angels?
52. True or false: We are saved by being baptized in water.
53. Name the Books of the New Testament.
54. Will we see God in Heaven?
55. Original Sin means: demon possession, Adam and Eve having sex, Eve eating the Forbidden Fruit, or our inheriting Adam's Sin?
56. Name three of Christ's miracles.
57. Which book says, "Spare the rod and spoil the child"?
58. In what language was the Old Testament written?
59. Is the Book of Hebrews in the Old or the New Testament?
60. Put in chronological order the nations that held Israel captive: Greece, Egypt, Babylon, Rome, Assyria, and Persia.
61. Christ means: Master, High Priest, Annointed, Savior, Lord, or Redeemer?
62. True or false: God will save someone if he has more good works than sins.
63. Where are the 10 Commandments located in the Bible?
64. Who wrote the Book of Ecclesiastes?
65. Which book says, "In the beginning God created the heavens and the Earth"?
66. Which tribe of Israel did Jesus belong to?
67. Name 3 of Israel's feasts or festivals.
68. Who was the greatest man before Jesus: David, Abraham, Solomon, John the Baptist, Moses or Adam?
69. Which book mentions the handwriting on the wall?
70. Who was the Emperor of Rome when Jesus was born: Herod, Caesar Augustus, Pilate, Nero, or Julius Caesar?
71. True or false: Moses led Israel into the Promised Land.
72. Being born again means: reincarnation, regeneration, redemption, or restitution?
73. Which book says, "God helps those who help themselves"?
74. Quote a Bible verse that proves Jesus is God.
75. Which Gospel mentions the Star of Bethlehem?
76. Was David: a prophet, a shepherd, a soldier, a musician, or a king?
77. What is the "New Jerusalem"?
78. What are the three divisions of the Old Testament?
79. Election means: God chose only some people to be saved, our parents dedicated us to God, or God chose those He knew would believe in Jesus?
80. Does the Bible contain many, a few, or no errors at all?
81. Is the Book of Enoch in the Old or the New Testament?
82. Put in chronological order: Jeremiah, Elijah, Samuel, Peter, Isaiah.
83. Church means: Temple, Christian building, called-out assembly, or nation?
84. Quote a Bible verse that teaches justification by faith alone.
85. Which is the greatest: hope, love or faith?
86. Which Gospel has the Parable of the Good Samaritan?
87. Hell is: a real place, a myth, here on Earth, Purgatory, or nowhere?
88. Put in chronological order: Sarah, Ruth, Mary, Eve, and Esther.
89. Which book says, "I am the Good Shepherd"?
90. Who could enter the Holy of Holies: the pope, Moses, a priest, an apostle, the High Priest, only angels?
91. Paul says we are justified by: faith, good works, or faith and good works?
92. What is the Pentateuch?
93. Which Gospel records the Parable of the Prodigal Son?
94. Where is it written, "Wives, submit to your husbands. Husbands, love your wives"?
95. Demons are: goblins, fallen angels, ghosts of dead people, or myths?
96. Who was Jesus' mother?
97. Which book says: "Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved"?
98. Whose wife was Jezebel?
99. Who baptized Jesus?
100. Quote a verse that teaches the doctrine of the Trinity.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: How do i become a forum member?

Stop robbing Jesus: tithe.

By the way, i deserve a promotion, don't you think? I gave some very generous donations during my last visit. I gave from the bottom of my heart. And I really mean bottom.
Posted via Mobile Device

"Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:"
So pray to Jesus and Jesus will look into your mortal soul, answer your prays and inspire one of the Pastors by way of a vision.

Then there remains only the price of a dedicated pew, re-assessed tithing schedule, car-parking space, hand tooled leather Bible, etc, etc. and a place amongst the tin-tithers in the "Witnesses of The Cross" area, could possibly be yours.