Hi and all that jazz.

[Turtlesaurus]

Hello, I am from Virginia and I attend an Assembly of God Pentacostal church. Not gonna get too specific, you really don't need that much information. I'm going to college where I major in information systems technology. I have a lot of hobbies, and they are very varied. I collect swords, which can get quite expensive, but I enjoy it. I also like to write but I hardly find the time for it recently. My biggest hobby would have to be gaming though. Guess that's all for now.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Hi and all that jazz.

So you speak in tongues and kiss snakes?

This I gotta see.

[Turtlesaurus]

Re: Hi and all that jazz.

So you speak in tongues and kiss snakes?

This I gotta see.

I actually just recently found out about the snake handling crap that goes on in some churches. Pretty stupid stuff. God might heal but I'm about 99.9% sure he doesn't assist stupidity, haha.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Hi and all that jazz.

Welcome to God's favorite forum anyway.

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

[Turtlesaurus]

Re: Hi and all that jazz.

Welcome to God's favorite forum anyway.

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

Are you implying that I am not a Christian myself? That's quite disrespectful, sir.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Hi and all that jazz.

Are you implying that I am not a Christian myself? That's quite disrespectful, sir.

Pentacostals/AOG are false Christians. You disrespect Jesus. Read about it HERE.

Benny Hinn? Billy Graham? Seriously?

I'm praying that you'll repent and join us in Heaven.

[Turtlesaurus]

Re: Hi and all that jazz.

Pentacostals/AOG are false Christians. You disrespect Jesus. Read about it HERE.

Benny Hinn? Billy Graham? Seriously?

I'm praying that you'll repent and join us in Heaven.

So a few people do wrong things and suddenly everyone in the denomination is going to Hell? Forget the fact that I'm saved, I'm Pentecostal, so i get a spot reserved in Hell? I've heard some dumb things before, but....wow.

[Octavia]

Re: Hi and all that jazz.

Are you implying that I am not a Christian myself? That's quite disrespectful, sir.

This place is full of disrespect, sadly. Be prepared.

I got poor treatment on my introduction thread too.

[Yeshua bar Yusuf]

Re: Hi and all that jazz.

This place is full of disrespect, sadly. Be prepared.

I got poor treatment on my introduction thread too.

Octavia mistakes concern for his immortal soul and loving rebukes as disrespect and poor treatment.

Turtlesaurus, I sincerely hope you don't make the same mistake, though your name gives me little to hope for in that department.

[Turtlesaurus]

Re: Hi and all that jazz.

Octavia mistakes concern for his immortal soul and loving rebukes as disrespect and poor treatment.

Turtlesaurus, I sincerely hope you don't make the same mistake, though your name gives me little to hope for in that department.

Why does my user name reflect that? Turtlesaurus is just funny.

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: Hi and all that jazz.

So a few people do wrong things and suddenly everyone in the denomination is going to Hell? Forget the fact that I'm saved, I'm Pentecostal, so i get a spot reserved in Hell? I've heard some dumb things before, but....wow.

Everything you read here will be Biblically correct. So in effect you are spitting directly into the face of Jesus when you attack us like this.

You may have heard of the Bible. It's that book false Christians such as yourself and that hateful agent of Satan, Octavia (who seems determined to invade every thread posted by another to divert it to her message of antichrist) never read.

I suggest you toddle off and read the Bible from cover to cover. And not one of those silly "translations" so beloved by fake religions: the real Bible of King James.



Once you have read it from cover to cover I guarantee it will change your view of Jesus forever. All who have taken on this challenge of actually finding out about God at source instead of listening to fluffy bunny false preachers like the deluded Octavia here have reported it is a real eye opener and no mistake. Suddenly everything we are saying makes absolute sense and then you will be ready to shine forth the true message of Salvation.

[Yeshua bar Yusuf]

Re: Hi and all that jazz.

Why does my user name reflect that? Turtlesaurus is just funny.

Turtlesaurus sounds like something an evilutionist would make up as a "transitional fossil" to "prove" that dinosaurs turned into turtles. I hope that you aren't one of those monkey worshiping "scientists" who believes in the evilutionist lies.

[Turtlesaurus]

Re: Hi and all that jazz.

Turtlesaurus sounds like something an evilutionist would make up as a "transitional fossil" to "prove" that dinosaurs turned into turtles. I hope that you aren't one of those monkey worshiping "scientists" who believes in the evilutionist lies.

No, I do not believe in evolution, it seems ridiculous to me to think that something as awesome as the Earth is an accident, and even more absurd to believe a theory which was denounced by it's own creator. I mean no offense to those who chose to beleive it, however. I'd appreciate it if you would try not to be so quick to judge me in the future.

Everything you read here will be Biblically correct. So in effect you are spitting directly into the face of Jesus when you attack us like this.

You may have heard of the Bible. It's that book false Christians such as yourself and that hateful agent of Satan above my post (who seems determined to invade every thread posted by another to divert it to her message of antichrist) never read.

I suggest you toddle off and read the Bible from cover to cover. And not one of those silly "translations" so beloved by fake religions: the real Bible of King James.



Once you have read it from cover to cover I guarantee it will change your view of Jesus forever. All who have taken on this challenge of actually finding out about God at source instead of listening to fluffy bunny false preachers like the deluded Octavia here have reported it is a real eye opener and no mistake. Suddenly everything we are saying makes absolute sense and then you will be ready to shine forth the true message of Salvation.

First off, i do read my Bible, both alone and with my girlfriend. Secondly, I use a KJV Bible. Thirdly, why would it matter if I didn't? KJV is a translation too.

[Yeshua bar Yusuf]

Re: Hi and all that jazz.

I'd appreciate it if you would try not to be so quick to judge me in the future.

While I'm glad to hear you're not an evolutionist, I have a God-given edict to judge, as do all Christians.

Leviticus 19:15 Ye shall do no unrighteousness in judgment: thou shalt not respect the person of the poor, nor honor the person of the mighty: but in righteousness shalt thou judge thy neighbour.

[Turtlesaurus]

Re: Hi and all that jazz.

While I'm glad to hear you're not an evolutionist, I have a God-given edict to judge, as do all Christians.

Leviticus 19:15 Ye shall do no unrighteousness in judgment: thou shalt not respect the person of the poor, nor honor the person of the mighty: but in righteousness shalt thou judge thy neighbour.

"Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye." - Matthew 7:1-5

I can do this all day, friend.