Greetings from a Believer

[IAmHalt]

Hello, fellow believers. For many years, I have been following the word of our mighty savior. And I thought it was high time I join your cult.

I'd like to start off by asking, how do I discipline my Pet Negro, Tyrone? He's gotten rather crazy lately, with screaming of satan and all that.

I have asked god for guidance on this subject, but alas, he has failed to respond. I think his internet is down for a bit.

I'd also like to say that I am most honored to be amongst such fine characters, such as yourselves.

Regards,
Follower of JC.

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: Greetings from a Believer

Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

[HTannor]

Re: Greetings from a Believer

......... And I thought it was high time I join your cult.

"Cults" are murmans, cathylicks, mudslimes, lutheriskies, demoncrats and the fans of Nebraska football.

The Landover Baptist Church is not a cult.

Take your "cult-baiting" talk elsewhere.

[Youth Minister Harry]

Re: Greetings from a Believer

And this is the kind if persecution I've been talking about. We are constantly mocked and ridiculed for our devotion to the Lord. Why must the faithful be so cruelly abused? It's a blessed feeling knowing it's God's will that all of these nasty, vile, little anti-Christian abominations will spend eternity in Satan's homo-anal torture dungeon. Hosannah in the HIGHEST!

Bathed In The Glory Of Christ's Loving Blood,
Harry Lester

[James Hutchins]

Re: Greetings from a Believer

We are no cult, we are members of one of the most closely knit religions in the free world. Additionally, no one has 'negroes' as pets, that is unsanitary.

[IAmHalt]

Re: Greetings from a Believer

Apologies for calling whatever this is a cult.

But, in all seriousness, I'd like to ask all of you a few questions.
And I'd like serious answers.

How can you all be so contradictory?
How can you try to justify the brainwash of children?

Please, do answer with all seriousness. For too long have I wanted to ask people like yourselves these questions. And far too long has my wishes gone un-answered. So please, answer.

Mocking and ridiculing you? I don't think so. I'm simply trying to understand. Yous speak of Enlightenment, correct? Well, please, Enlighten me.

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: Greetings from a Believer

Apologies for calling whatever this is a cult.

But, in all seriousness, I'd like to ask all of you a few questions.
And I'd like serious answers.

How can you all be so contradictory?
How can you try to justify the brainwash of children?

Please, do answer with all seriousness. For too long have I wanted to ask people like yourselves these questions. And far too long has my wishes gone un-answered. So please, answer.

Mocking and ridiculing you? I don't think so. I'm simply trying to understand. Yous speak of Enlightenment, correct? Well, please, Enlighten me.

Please make a proper introduction as Brother Redeemed asked you to in the VERY FIRST REPLY to this thread; then we can see about setting your addled brain straight.



Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Greetings from a Believer

Apologies for calling whatever this is a cult.

But, in all seriousness, I'd like to ask all of you a few questions.
And I'd like serious answers.

How can you all be so contradictory?
How can you try to justify the brainwash of children?

Please, do answer with all seriousness. For too long have I wanted to ask people like yourselves these questions. And far too long has my wishes gone un-answered. So please, answer.

Mocking and ridiculing you? I don't think so. I'm simply trying to understand. Yous speak of Enlightenment, correct? Well, please, Enlighten me.

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Greetings from a Believer

Apologies for calling whatever this is a cult.

We praise the entity that created everything. It is a religion. Being a God hater, you'll never understand.

But, in all seriousness, I'd like to ask all of you a few questions.
And I'd like serious answers.

How can you all be so contradictory?

We are not. We follow the Bible. Please post scritpure that is contradictory.

How can you try to justify the brainwash of children?

You have us confused with the catlicks and mooslimes. We allow our kids to learn, experience and makes choices on thier own. Everyone has the right to choose to go to Heaven. Sadly, most want to go to Hell.

Please, do answer with all seriousness. For too long have I wanted to ask people like yourselves these questions. And far too long has my wishes gone un-answered. So please, answer.

Mocking and ridiculing you? I don't think so. I'm simply trying to understand. Yous speak of Enlightenment, correct? Well, please, Enlighten me.

Uh, I just did. You are the one mocking us with comments like 'cults', contradictory' and 'brainwash'.
Your comments may be ignored because you are rude rabble rouser. But because I have the love of Jesus spraying from my hands, I cannot help but reach around for a fellow Christian.

[Oranges]

Re: Greetings from a Believer

How can you all be so contradictory?
How can you try to justify the brainwash of children?

Please, do answer with all seriousness. For too long have I wanted to ask people like yourselves these questions. And far too long has my wishes gone un-answered. So please, answer.

Mocking and ridiculing you? I don't think so. I'm simply trying to understand. Yous speak of Enlightenment, correct? Well, please, Enlighten me.

You can't argue points against faith. The difference between your average Christian and those you see here is that the people here don't even bother. They know its a pointless and endless discussion that will never end.

Furthermore, they also don't need a reason to be nice to you or anyone else. I don't get why so many people think Christians HAVE to be nice to you while laying their guts out.

[HTannor]

Re: Greetings from a Believer

You can't argue points against faith. The difference between your average Christian and those you see here is that the people here don't even bother. They know its a pointless and endless discussion that will never end.

Furthermore, they also don't need a reason to be nice to you or anyone else. I don't get why so many people think Christians HAVE to be nice to you while laying their guts out.

I think this "fruit" is trying to insult us.

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: Greetings from a Believer

I think this "fruit" is trying to insult us.

What could be his raisin for that?

[Repentant]

Re: Greetings from a Believer

What could be his raisin for that?

Could be he is just plum wrong

[Oranges]

Re: Greetings from a Believer

What could be his raisin for that?

Good one! No really what could be my reason for that.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Greetings from a Believer

Good one! No really what could be my reason for that.

Drugs or homerseuxality.