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  • Greetings Brothers and Sisters of Jesus

    Hello fellow lovers of Jesus. It feels so incredible to be in the presence of people who feel as strongly about Christ's love as I do.

    I attend Springfield Baptist Church and my favorite Bible verse is Romans 8:39
    Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.


    I love this Bible verse because it reminds me that my faith in Jesus is unwavering. There is nothing, not a negro, not even a retard (whom are NOT human - thank you Brother Percy for enlightening me http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=71163) who can change my love and faith in Him.

    The story about how I came to find Jesus is one that is very close to my heart, but I will share it with you because you are my brothers and sisters. I was always religious but I had never quite had that defining moment that filled me with the Holy Spirit until a couple of years ago. I felt the urge to go to the store and purchase the latest English textbooks for my daughter's homeschooling (now I know it was Jesus who wanted me to go because I was now worthy of experiencing His grace). On the way back I was mugged by multiple negro Satan-worshipers. I told them they needed to repent for their sins, but instead they threw me down onto the gravel. I thought my life on this flat earth was over. That was until I felt the love of Jesus being thrust into me. I felt the Holy Spirit entering my body brothers and sisters, and I had never felt as magnificent as I did at that moment. I then blacked out and awoke in my church several hours later. It was Christ that saved me that night.

    That is my story, I hope it touched you in as many ways as it touched me. It truly was a life changing experience.

  • #2
    Re: Greetings Brothers and Sisters of Jesus

    Welcome friend, nice bit of scripture. Shows dedication and unquestioning commitment to God.

    Tell me friend, how many sons has Jesus seen fit to impregnate your wife with?
    Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
    Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
    Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
    Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
    Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
    Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Greetings Brothers and Sisters of Jesus

      Originally posted by James Hutchins View Post
      Welcome friend, nice bit of scripture. Shows dedication and unquestioning commitment to God.

      Tell me friend, how many sons has Jesus seen fit to impregnate your wife with?
      Jesus has given us 3 strong sons. They've each been homeschooled and given the best Christian education possible (it's not like any other type of education would be worthwhile, especially in this Christian nation we live in). They have all been instilled with the love and tenderness of Jesus.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Greetings Brothers and Sisters of Jesus

        Welcome to God's favorite forum. If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

        If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

        You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

        Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.
        Who Will Jesus Damn?

        Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

        Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

        Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Greetings Brothers and Sisters of Jesus

          It's refreshing to have someone come into God's favourite forum with a love of Jesus and Biblical attitudes for once instead of all these hateful atheists telling us how they hate God and wish He didn't exist rather than realising they need to stop sinning and open themselves wide for Jesus to enter them.
          sigpic
          Isaiah 34:6 The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness, and with the blood of lambs and goats, with the fat of the kidneys of rams: for the LORD hath a sacrifice in Bozrah, and a great slaughter in the land of Idumea.

          John 5:46,47 For had ye believed Moses, ye would have believed me: for he wrote of me. But if ye believe not his writings, how shall ye believe my words?

          Join me in scoffing at backwards Muslims clinging to their beliefs in the face of the evidence!
          The truth about volcanos
          Sex and debauchery in public schools
          Faith wins over science (explained for even the very stupid)
          God Cures AIDS - GLORY!
          Desert whale bones prove Great Flood once and for all.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Greetings Brothers and Sisters of Jesus

            Originally posted by Redeemed Papist View Post
            It's refreshing to have someone come into God's favourite forum with a love of Jesus and Biblical attitudes for once instead of all these hateful atheists telling us how they hate God and wish He didn't exist rather than realising they need to stop sinning and open themselves wide for Jesus to enter them.
            Thank you for your kind words. I have not been here long but I have already seen so many people come to God's favorite forum and criticize His majestic work, it disgusts me. How anybody can be an atheist when you can simply walk outside and see His power truly has me confounded.

            You are right brother, these atheists need to have Jesus enter them much like I did that night with the negroes. Once He has entered them they will see the error of their ways. Praise Him!

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Greetings Brothers and Sisters of Jesus

              Originally posted by Jon McMichaelson View Post
              Thank you for your kind words. I have not been here long but I have already seen so many people come to God's favorite forum and criticize His majestic work, it disgusts me. How anybody can be an atheist when you can simply walk outside and see His power truly has me confounded.

              You are right brother, these atheists need to have Jesus enter them much like I did that night with the negroes. Once He has entered them they will see the error of their ways. Praise Him!
              And do you know what! They come in here spitting in Jesus' face and find us grumpy when we rebuke them for it and call us rude.

              Notice how someone coming in with a warm and friendly attitude is welcomed warmly? I wonder why.


              Philippians 3:14 I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.

              Glory!
              sigpic
              Isaiah 34:6 The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness, and with the blood of lambs and goats, with the fat of the kidneys of rams: for the LORD hath a sacrifice in Bozrah, and a great slaughter in the land of Idumea.

              John 5:46,47 For had ye believed Moses, ye would have believed me: for he wrote of me. But if ye believe not his writings, how shall ye believe my words?

              Join me in scoffing at backwards Muslims clinging to their beliefs in the face of the evidence!
              The truth about volcanos
              Sex and debauchery in public schools
              Faith wins over science (explained for even the very stupid)
              God Cures AIDS - GLORY!
              Desert whale bones prove Great Flood once and for all.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Greetings Brothers and Sisters of Jesus

                Originally posted by Redeemed Papist View Post
                And do you know what! They come in here spitting in Jesus' face and find us grumpy when we rebuke them for it and call us rude.

                Notice how someone coming in with a warm and friendly attitude is welcomed warmly? I wonder why.


                Philippians 3:14 I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.

                Glory!
                If the Satan-worshiping atheists keep up their ways they will not be spitting in His face much longer!

                Matthew 10:33
                But whosoever shall deny me before men, him will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven.

                Praise be to God and all His wisdom!!

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Greetings Brothers and Sisters of Jesus

                  We're so excited you've found Jesus' most loved internet forum website internet address page! I just know Christ has led you here with a purpose for you and your children. As I read your testimony, my heart thumped inside. I know first hand the pain and pleasure of the Holy Spirit of Christ coming inside, filling up your insides in a hot swollen torrent of joy and delight, coming again and again in waves you couldn't stop if you wanted or even tried!

                  How old are your sons?! Tell us more about them. Are they strong? Do they enjoy playing outside? Have you ever thought of having them on a Bible Camp Retreat? Next month is our annual Kids' Kooky Kampout where we'll learn to make Holy Ghost costumes and light up the night sky with a giant tribute to Christ's sacrifice unto man. Then, we'll share the story of how Christ sacrificed himself for man, and how sacrificing one's self to men shows the men how much love you have for them. God Is GREAT! Praise Jesus!

                  How old are your boys? How tall are they? Will they need to borrow some swim trunks for the boys-only fellowship retreat?

                  Swimming In The Hot Springs of Christ's Fresh Blood,
                  Harry Lester
                  Slathered in the Fresh Hot Blood of the Infant Christ,
                  -Youth Minister Harry Lester

                  Comment

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