Ho! What's going on?

[Bishop Vinny Martini]

I'm new around here.

The name's Bishop Vincent Martini III but my friends just call me Holy Vinny.

A little about me: I'm a 63 year old Italian Bishop from the Bronx who recently lost his parish and is currently incarcerated in Rikers Island on a seven year bid after being erroneously and unjustly convicted of fraud. The totally false and untrue accusations of financial misgivings within my organization were born from a bogus investigation by a rogue tv news reporter/former member in my parish who had a score to settle with me due to his displeasure with his former role as an altar boy.

I was also convicted of manslaughter and reckless endangerment after some old lady died from a stroke at one of my sweat-lodge healings.

Anyways, just glad I found a website where I can finally rub elbows with other successful men of the cloth, compare stories, get advice and not feel out of place.

See ya around!

-Holy Vinny

[Youth Pastor Marty]

Re: Ho! What's going on?

I'm new around here.

The name's Bishop Vincent Martini III but my friends just call me Holy Vinny.

A little about me: I'm a 63 year old Italian Bishop from the Bronx who recently lost his parish and is currently incarcerated in Rikers Island on a seven year bid after being erroneously and unjustly convicted of fraud. The totally false and untrue accusations of financial misgivings within my organization were born from a bogus investigation by a rogue tv news reporter/former member in my parish who had a score to settle with me due to his displeasure with his former role as an altar boy.

I was also convicted of manslaughter and reckless endangerment after some old lady died from a stroke at one of my sweat-lodge healings.

Anyways, just glad I found a website where I can finally rub elbows with other successful men of the cloth, compare stories, get advice and not feel out of place.

See ya around!

-Holy Vinny

It pains me to welcome you here, but here it is nonetheless.

I'm sure it's not easy to collect insurance money again when in your last case you supposedly slipped on the greasy handprints and tears from that same rogue reporter in his younger years, Father. Fraud indeed.

We keep another Hellbound heathen much like yourself around named Father Maurice Lester just for sport of course. I'm sure you two will hit it off nicely, although he is over the age of 12.

[SUV]

Re: Ho! What's going on?

What did he just call me? This is all about the time I SHOWERED WITH JESUS again - isn't it.

And so soon after the other Recent unPleasantness

And so soon after Christmas

[Nobar King]

Re: Ho! What's going on?

Excuse me, I don't think you get to browse the internets when you're locked up in Riker's Island. You would know that if you had ever been to jail or watched an episode of 'cops'.

[Bishop Vinny Martini]

Re: Ho! What's going on?

Yeah, we are, actually. This is the 21st century. It's called "activity time".

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Ho! What's going on?

I'm new around here.

The name's Bishop Vincent Martini III but my friends just call me Holy Vinny.

Why do you hate Jesus, Vinny?

Why do you pray to His dead mother instead of to Him, the way He Himself is quoted directing you to do in the Bible?

Why do you practice ritual cannibalism? Where does the Bible say to do that?

Why are you an idolator, when the Bible forbids it?

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Ho! What's going on?

A little about me: I'm a 63 year old Italian Bishop from the Bronx....

And you came here looking for our children for pen palls? You want their photos maybe?

[Bishop Vinny Martini]

Re: Ho! What's going on?

Yeah, my parish went underground in light of the controversy...but I sure as all things holy don't need your little kids for pen pals. I got a whole slew of dedicated altar boys and ex-altar boys out there ready and willing to be my pen pals. Hmph! Frankly, Miss, I question your motives to brand me with such an accusation and I wish you would refrain from such outlandish remarks in our future interactions.

[Mary-Yves Lapierre]

Re: Ho! What's going on?

Yeah, my parish went underground in light of the controversy...but I sure as all things holy don't need your little kids for pen pals. I got a whole slew of dedicated altar boys and ex-altar boys out there ready and willing to be my pen pals. Hmph! Frankly, Miss, I question your motives to brand me with such an accusation and I wish you would refrain from such outlandish remarks in our future interactions.

Allo Bishop Mussolini! Why are you not answering to Rev Rodimer's questions?

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Ho! What's going on?

Frankly, Miss, I question your motives to brand me with such an accusation and I wish you would refrain from such outlandish remarks in our future interactions.

Look, you came here to our friendly forum with an ungodly collar around your neck advertising your preference for boy children. I don't know why you've come if not to praise God's Holy Name with us but I'm afraid if you've come here to "rub" anything with anyone, you'll be sorely disappointed. This is a forum for True Christians™.

But when it pleased God, who separated me from my mother's womb, and called me by his grace
(Galatians 1:15)

I'll ask you to mind your manners here, please.

[Bishop Vinny Martini]

Re: Ho! What's going on?

Fine, I'll entertain this absurdity.

Why do you hate Jesus, Vinny?

Why do you pray to His dead mother instead of to Him, the way He Himself is quoted directing you to do in the Bible?

Why do you practice ritual cannibalism? Where does the Bible say to do that?

Why are you an idolator, when the Bible forbids it?

1) I love Jesus so bite your tongue right there.

2) I pray to nobody but our all-powerful Almighty Lord. He's the boss in charge of this whole operation; I'm merely a cappo.

3) Cannibalism? Cannibalism?! I do no such thing. I'm in the pokey right now, okay? I have no time for such frivolousness. Do you know how much self-restraint I demonstrate simply by NOT threatening, beating and raping the weak prisoners like the rest of these animals in here?

4) That I am a tad guilty of. I do think that celebrity has a certain distinguished place in our society and maybe I am wrong for that. Regardless, I have already asked our Almighty Father for his foregivness. I have disavowed mirrors or any sort of reflective surfaces. I administer lashes to my back daily with a switch made from a bunch of hard leather shoelaces braided together (I bought the laces from Lil' Hoover, a man who is know to, ahem, "locate things" from time to time). So, I've repented, okay?

So, anyways, don't know what's up with the hostility? I'm just here to proclaim the word of God during my activity time and, bear in mind, I've chosen to do this instead of going to the gym area and lifting with the rest of the inmates.

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: Ho! What's going on?

Fine, I'll entertain this absurdity.



1) I love Jesus so bite your tongue right there.

2) I pray to nobody but our all-powerful Almighty Lord. He's the boss in charge of this whole operation; I'm merely a cappo.

3) Cannibalism? Cannibalism?! I do no such thing. I'm in the pokey right now, okay? I have no time for such frivolousness. Do you know how much self-restraint I demonstrate simply by NOT threatening, beating and raping the weak prisoners like the rest of these animals in here?

4) That I am a tad guilty of. I do think that celebrity has a certain distinguished place in our society and maybe I am wrong for that. Regardless, I have already asked our Almighty Father for his foregivness. I have disavowed mirrors or any sort of reflective surfaces. I administer lashes to my back daily with a switch made from a bunch of hard leather shoelaces braided together (I bought the laces from Lil' Hoover, a man who is know to, ahem, "locate things" from time to time). So, I've repented, okay?

So, anyways, don't know what's up with the hostility? I'm just here to proclaim the word of God during my activity time and, bear in mind, I've chosen to do this instead of going to the gym area and lifting with the rest of the inmates.

So you love Jesus?

Why ignore His words, then?

Where do you stand on if Mary went straight up to Heaven bodily?

[Bob4God]

Re: Ho! What's going on?

Hello, Vinny.

Do you have any intention of abandoning your sinful Catholic ways and becoming a born-again True Christian Bible-Believing Baptist?

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: Ho! What's going on?

Tell us all about purgatory

[SUV]

Re: Ho! What's going on?

Hello, Vinny.

Do you have any intention of abandoning your sinful Catholic ways and becoming a born-again True Christian Bible-Believing Baptist?

I Pray that he gives up his diet of human kidneys "with a nice Chianti" too