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  • Hello! I'm John

    Hello!

    My name is John.

    I am a Christian and Jesus lead me to the path of this forum, I hope it will be as filled with the love of God as I am!

    My favourit chapter is Ezekiel 25.

    I have studied a lot in my life but science wants to make everything so difficult and complicated when it's not! Everything we need to know about life is right here IN THE BIBLE!
    Ezekiel 25:17
    And I will execute great vengeance upon them with furious rebukes; and they shall know that I am the LORD, when I shall lay my vengeance upon them.

  • #2
    Re: Hello! I'm John

    That it is, John. That it is. Welcome, were glad to have you here. That's a fantastic chapter. I'm telling all the new guys and gals about the weekly religious meeting thread that I'm planning to start leading in here on Sundays. We'd love it if you came through. Remember, the fellas around here can get mouthy but they never mean anything mean by it.
    This space is reserved for posting KJV Scripture ONLY! --ADMIN

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Hello! I'm John

      Originally posted by StrikeDownUponThee View Post
      Hello!

      My name is John.

      I am a Christian and Jesus lead me to the path of this forum, I hope it will be as filled with the love of God as I am!

      My favourit chapter is Ezekiel 25.

      I have studied a lot in my life but science wants to make everything so difficult and complicated when it's not! Everything we need to know about life is right here IN THE BIBLE!
      Hello John!

      Don't you think it's disgusting the way that negro actor totally misquoted Ezekiel? Maybe if he hadn't spent his whole life dealing drugs and stealing pies and raping white women he would've found more time to study the Bible.

      Anyway: where do you go to church? What the most awesomest thing Our Lord Jesus Christ has done for you in the last 24 hours? We want to get to know you!



      Yours in Christ,

      Z. Smyth
      sigpic

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Hello! I'm John

        Originally posted by Bishop Vinny Martini View Post
        That it is, John. That it is. Welcome, were glad to have you here. That's a fantastic chapter. I'm telling all the new guys and gals about the weekly religious meeting thread that I'm planning to start leading in here on Sundays. We'd love it if you came through. Remember, the fellas around here can get mouthy but they never mean anything mean by it.
        Really? You're planning to use this forum as a platform to promote Catholicism?

        Just how much Jameson's have you had to drink today, Padre?
        WARNING:
        In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
        REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Hello! I'm John

          Originally posted by Faith_Machine View Post
          Really? You're planning to use this forum as a platform to promote Catholicism?
          I can't tell if you're excited by that promise or not...

          Regardless, I was thinking more along the lines of merely setting up an environment where people can speak freely about their involvement with Christianity.
          This space is reserved for posting KJV Scripture ONLY! --ADMIN

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Hello! I'm John

            Then go and set one up.

            John,
            careful scrutiny will show you that the Bishop represents nobody but the inside of his head.
            Posted via Mobile Device
            sigpic
            Isaiah 34:6 The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness, and with the blood of lambs and goats, with the fat of the kidneys of rams: for the LORD hath a sacrifice in Bozrah, and a great slaughter in the land of Idumea.

            John 5:46,47 For had ye believed Moses, ye would have believed me: for he wrote of me. But if ye believe not his writings, how shall ye believe my words?

            Join me in scoffing at backwards Muslims clinging to their beliefs in the face of the evidence!
            The truth about volcanos
            Sex and debauchery in public schools
            Faith wins over science (explained for even the very stupid)
            God Cures AIDS - GLORY!
            Desert whale bones prove Great Flood once and for all.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Hello! I'm John

              Originally posted by Zechariah Smyth View Post
              Hello John!

              Don't you think it's disgusting the way that negro actor totally misquoted Ezekiel? Maybe if he hadn't spent his whole life dealing drugs and stealing pies and raping white women he would've found more time to study the Bible.

              Anyway: where do you go to church? What the most awesomest thing Our Lord Jesus Christ has done for you in the last 24 hours? We want to get to know you!



              Yours in Christ,

              Z. Smyth
              I live in Sweden so i go to the Elim Church in Stockholm!

              The mose awesome thing Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ has been to bless me so that i get to spend another day loving our Lord!
              Ezekiel 25:17
              And I will execute great vengeance upon them with furious rebukes; and they shall know that I am the LORD, when I shall lay my vengeance upon them.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Hello! I'm John

                Originally posted by Bishop Vinny Martini View Post
                I can't tell if you're excited by that promise or not...

                Regardless, I was thinking more along the lines of merely setting up an environment where people can speak freely about their involvement with Christianity.
                Why would a Catholic such as yourself be interested in talking about Christianity?
                WARNING:
                In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
                REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Hello! I'm John

                  Originally posted by Faith_Machine View Post
                  Why would a Catholic such as yourself be interested in talking about Christianity?
                  Why would a Catholic know nothing about being a Catholic?
                  sigpic
                  Isaiah 34:6 The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness, and with the blood of lambs and goats, with the fat of the kidneys of rams: for the LORD hath a sacrifice in Bozrah, and a great slaughter in the land of Idumea.

                  John 5:46,47 For had ye believed Moses, ye would have believed me: for he wrote of me. But if ye believe not his writings, how shall ye believe my words?

                  Join me in scoffing at backwards Muslims clinging to their beliefs in the face of the evidence!
                  The truth about volcanos
                  Sex and debauchery in public schools
                  Faith wins over science (explained for even the very stupid)
                  God Cures AIDS - GLORY!
                  Desert whale bones prove Great Flood once and for all.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Hello! I'm John

                    Catholics worship a woman. That should go a long way in explaining why they're always so confused.
                    Let Jesus Christ Wash You Clean
                    in 2016

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Hello! I'm John

                      Be Careful, Sister Victory. A "John" on our Godly board....

                      Now what do you suppose he might be looking for?

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Hello! I'm John

                        Originally posted by SUV View Post
                        Be Careful, Sister Victory. A "John" on our Godly board....

                        Now what do you suppose he might be looking for?
                        What do you mean by that?
                        Ezekiel 25:17
                        And I will execute great vengeance upon them with furious rebukes; and they shall know that I am the LORD, when I shall lay my vengeance upon them.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Hello! I'm John

                          Don't play stupid sinner it makes Jesus angry.

                          Originally posted by StrikeDownUponThee View Post
                          What do you mean by that?


                          Leviticus 26:27-29

                          27 And if ye will not for all this hearken unto me, but walk contrary unto me;
                          28 Then I will walk contrary unto you also in fury; and I, even I, will chastise you seven times for your sins.
                          29 And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Hello! I'm John

                            Originally posted by SayvedByTheLord View Post
                            Don't play stupid sinner it makes Jesus angry.
                            I am not a sinner!

                            I know there are A LOT of sinners in Sweden but i work hard every day to make people see the light, warmth and love of our LORD and SAVIOR Jesus Christ!
                            Ezekiel 25:17
                            And I will execute great vengeance upon them with furious rebukes; and they shall know that I am the LORD, when I shall lay my vengeance upon them.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Hello! I'm John

                              Originally posted by StrikeDownUponThee View Post
                              I am not a sinner!

                              I know there are A LOT of sinners in Sweden but i work hard every day to make people see the light, warmth and love of our LORD and SAVIOR Jesus Christ!
                              "John" is a common American term for a man looking for a prostitute. The concern is that you may consider some of the Godly women here at Landover to be whores and slyly chose that name as some kind of sick joke.

                              I pray that is not true.



                              (1 Corinthians 6:18) "Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body."

                              Yours in Christ,

                              Z. Smyth
                              sigpic

                              Comment

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