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  • #1

    Introductions Are In Order

    Hello all. I'm a Baptist from Georgia, and I came to this site because it really caught my attention. There seems to be some very valuable information here. I go to a nice church called Green Acres, and I am actively involved in it. I'm embarrassed to admit this, but I'm not very well versed in Scripture since I'm still in the process of studying it, so please forgive me if I get some things confused. I was raised to be a liberal Pentecostal, but around the time I turned 15, I started to have doubts. When I was 26, I had all but given up my faith, when miraculously, the Lord Jesus Christ Himself came to me in my dreams! For seven blessed days, He would come to me and lay my doubts and fears to rest! He told me what was true, and what must be done! Praise The Lord!

    So, that's my story. Feel free to comment and ask questions. Just don't ask too many questions. I think we all know how that could turn out.
    Tags: ego stroking, false christian
  • #2
    Re: Introductions Are In Order

    We'll ask as many questions as we see fit.

    Favourite scripture? How many sons has your wife slid from her loins?

    I'm a bit curious what you mean be "how that could turn out." If you do the right things you will be in Heaven with Jesus when God kills you.
    Posted via Mobile Device
    sigpic
    Isaiah 34:6 The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness, and with the blood of lambs and goats, with the fat of the kidneys of rams: for the LORD hath a sacrifice in Bozrah, and a great slaughter in the land of Idumea.

    John 5:46,47 For had ye believed Moses, ye would have believed me: for he wrote of me. But if ye believe not his writings, how shall ye believe my words?

    Join me in scoffing at backwards Muslims clinging to their beliefs in the face of the evidence!
    The truth about volcanos
    Sex and debauchery in public schools
    Faith wins over science (explained for even the very stupid)
    God Cures AIDS - GLORY!
    Desert whale bones prove Great Flood once and for all.

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: Introductions Are In Order

      Hello friend!

      What kind of sick depravities did you wallow in during the 11 years you were against God? Spare no details!

      Yours in Christ,

      Z. Smyth
      sigpic

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      • #4
        Re: Introductions Are In Order

        Welcome aboard, Scavenger! Just how bad was the Pentacostalism? Did you do a lot of snake handling?
        WARNING:
        In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
        REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

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        • #5
          Re: Introductions Are In Order

          I'm familiar with Green Acres Baptist Church. That's in Warner Robins, right? I have family who live there. They don't go to Green Acres though, since it's way too liberal.
          Let Jesus Christ Wash You Clean
          in 2016

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          • #6
            Re: Introductions Are In Order

            To Redeemed Papist: I actually don't have a wife yet. Most of the women in my area are, shall we say, of ill-repute, and whenever I try to share the Good Word with them, they treat me with ridicule and scorn. My favorite scripture would be Ecclesiastes 1:18 "For in much wisdom is much grief; and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow." I'm wary of asking questions, since that's how I first fell into doubt. All we must do is accept, so asking too many deep questions seems not only unnecessary, but also quite dangerous. It was actually intended to be a joke.

            To Z. Smyth: I didn't do that much, actually. I lived what some would call a normal life. I finished high school, got my degree in computer science at Valdosta State University, got a job at Microsoft as a quality assurance representative, and I live in a quiet neighborhood. I did read alot of secularist and humanist literature, which probably should be considered sick depravities, and I had sex with two girls that I dated at different times, both in college, but that's about it. And of course, I was sliding deeper and deeper into ungodly doubt, thinking that maybe, just maybe, the Bible wasn't really a divine document. Fortunately, all such thoughts have been purged from my mind.

            To Faith_Machine: The whole speaking in tongues thing...disturbed me...deeply. I don't really want to get into it.

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            • #7
              Re: Introductions Are In Order

              To VictoryOS: Tell me about it. I've been trying to make some changes, but they don't take me seriously. I think they think I'm insane. I might have to find a new church.

              Comment

              • #8
                Re: Introductions Are In Order

                Did they ever make you wear a dog collar and lead you around on a leash right there in church? I've seen videos.
                WARNING:
                In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
                REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

                Comment

                • #9
                  Originally posted by Scavenger View Post
                  Hello all. I'm a Baptist from Georgia, and I came to this site because it really caught my attention. There seems to be some very valuable information here. I go to a nice church called Green Acres, and I am actively involved in it. I'm embarrassed to admit this, but I'm not very well versed in Scripture since I'm still in the process of studying it, so please forgive me if I get some things confused. I was raised to be a liberal Pentecostal, but around the time I turned 15, I started to have doubts. When I was 26, I had all but given up my faith, when miraculously, the Lord Jesus Christ Himself came to me in my dreams! For seven blessed days, He would come to me and lay my doubts and fears to rest! He told me what was true, and what must be done! Praise The Lord!

                  So, that's my story. Feel free to comment and ask questions. Just don't ask too many questions. I think we all know how that could turn out.
                  Do you still have all your fingers? I heard that snake handlers often loose them due to being bitten by those low down snakes.
                  Posted via Mobile Device
                  1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

                  Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

                  Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Re: Introductions Are In Order

                    Originally posted by Faith_Machine View Post
                    Did they ever make you wear a dog collar and lead you around on a leash right there in church? I've seen videos.
                    I've never even heard of that, but it wouldn't surprise me.

                    Also, snake-handlers are an off-shoot of Pentecostals. Not all of them do it, and I've never seen it done.

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Re: Introductions Are In Order

                      Originally posted by Scavenger View Post
                      I've never even heard of that, but it wouldn't surprise me.

                      Also, snake-handlers are an off-shoot of Pentecostals. Not all of them do it, and I've never seen it done.
                      Boy, any True Christian™ knows what the euphemism "snake-handler" means, what is your actual purpose in coming to our Godly Forum© ?


                      Leviticus 26:27-29

                      27 And if ye will not for all this hearken unto me, but walk contrary unto me;
                      28 Then I will walk contrary unto you also in fury; and I, even I, will chastise you seven times for your sins.
                      29 And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat.

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Re: Introductions Are In Order

                        Originally posted by SayvedByTheLord View Post
                        Boy, any True Christian™ knows what the euphemism "snake-handler" means, what is your actual purpose in coming to our Godly Forum© ?
                        I know what the euphemism means. I thought we were talking about literal snake-handling, as described in Mark 16:17. The others who posted, like Larni69, clearly meant the literal kind of snake-handling. I don't know why you automatically start thinking about such a perverted act. I'll pray for you.

                        2 Corinthians 7:1 Having therefore these promises, dearly beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God.

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Re: Introductions Are In Order

                          Fast forward to the 1:59 mark to see Pentacostals howling like and being lead around on leashes like dogs:

                          WARNING:
                          In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
                          REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Re: Introductions Are In Order

                            If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

                            If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

                            You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

                            Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.
                            Who Will Jesus Damn?

                            Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                            Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                            Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

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                            • #15
                              Re: Introductions Are In Order

                              Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                              Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.
                              I'm no stranger to sarcasm Pastor Ezekiel, but if you feel that I was disrespectful to anyone, I do apologize. I just felt as though SayvedByTheLord took the thread in an unpleasant and unnecessary direction.

                              Comment

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