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  • #1

    Just a poor wayfaring stranger

    Hi brothers and sisters in christ!

    I am so blessed to have found you delightful folks and to have the opportunity to share with you the story of my salvation and hope to further grow my knowledge of Christ with you!

    I was a hardcore hippie in my former home town of San Francisco! I had been brainwashed by the libs into believing such nonsense as global warming, womens rights, gay equality, and Public Education!

    I really was deep inside the left wing, I volunteered at the local elderly home where they drew Social Security checks (Later I found out this was welfare!). I also volunteered at the local AIDS shelter (Later I found out that this was gods way of punishing feminists and gays!).

    This is how I lived my life if you could call it that, until I found your blessed ministry! Since I found Landover Baptist, I renounced my former life and I have taken to the streets to spread the beauty and majesty of our Faith!

    I spend my time stoning unrepentant whores (as our lord states we should do in Deuteronomy 22:21) and preaching the good word to those who have an ear to hear! I used to use ASL to preach to the deaf but then I realize that god is punishing them for being awful christians and my ASL was falling on deaf ears.

    Anyways pleased to meet you!

    (and ladies request your husbands permission before replying as per Ephesians 5:22 wouldn't want you to be in violation of your wifely duties!)
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Re: Just a poor wayfaring stranger

    I hope you've taken a bath.

    If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

    If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

    You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

    Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: Just a poor wayfaring stranger

      Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
      I hope you've taken a bath.
      I most assuredly have brother! In accordance to Psalms 51:7 I was bathed with Hyssop and have become whiter than snow, and as we all know white is right

      I am proud to be in the presence of such true christians

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: Just a poor wayfaring stranger

        What can we call you, friend?

        Also, what is ASL? Is it that deaf-and-dumb gangbanger crap?



        Yours in Christ,

        Z. Smyth
        sigpic

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: Just a poor wayfaring stranger

          Originally posted by Zechariah Smyth View Post
          What can we call you, friend?

          Also, what is ASL? Is it that deaf-and-dumb gangbanger crap?



          Yours in Christ,

          Z. Smyth
          My mother, bless and rest her soul, gave me the name Jeddidiah before she was mercilessly sodomized by negroes until she was dead.

          And unfortunately ASL is precisely what you described. I am sure glad I learned that their affliction is gods way of punishing them for their horrendous sins!

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: Just a poor wayfaring stranger

            Originally posted by HipsterForChrist View Post
            My mother, bless and rest her soul, gave me the name Jeddidiah before she was mercilessly sodomized by negroes until she was dead.

            And unfortunately ASL is precisely what you described. I am sure glad I learned that their affliction is gods way of punishing them for their horrendous sins!
            Jeddidiah? Is that the joo spelling of Jedidiah?
            sigpic

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: Just a poor wayfaring stranger

              Originally posted by Zechariah Smyth View Post
              Jeddidiah? Is that the joo spelling of Jedidiah?
              Heavens no! My mother was no Joo loving wench! She had the shakes, a result of a battle with lesbianism, and when she was signing my name at the hospital she by mistake put an extra D! I would have changed it but I refuse to give one red cent to these liberal courts!

              Comment

              • #8
                Re: Just a poor wayfaring stranger

                Originally posted by HipsterForChrist View Post
                My mother, bless and rest her soul, gave me the name Jeddidiah before she was mercilessly sodomized by negroes until she was dead.
                No race-mixing slut would have the sensibility to give their child such a fine, Christian name. Indeed, my own mother was a sassy-mouthed bitch whose incessant yammering drove my Godly father to leave us in favor of his "real family" in Dallas. Lacking Christian discernment, she named me Leslie. It was not until accepting Jesus Christ as my personal LORD and Savior at 2:34 PM on October 16, 1998 that I decided I needed a Godlier name. Within days, I had my name legally changed to Jedediah, which as I'm sure you know, was the name given to Solomon (II Samuel 12:24-25) and means "beloved of the LORD."
                II Thessalonians 1:7-9
                And to you who are troubled rest with us, when the Lord Jesus shall be revealed from heaven with his mighty angels,
                In flaming fire taking vengeance on them that know not God, and that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ:
                Who shall be punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord, and from the glory of his power
                The man who is being progressively sanctified will inescapably sanctify his home, school, politics, economics, science, and all things else by understanding and interpreting all things in terms of the Word of God and by bringing all things under the Dominion of Christ the King. -R.J. Rushdoony

                Comment

                • #9
                  Re: Just a poor wayfaring stranger

                  Originally posted by HipsterForChrist View Post
                  I had been brainwashed by the libs into believing such nonsense as global warming, womens rights, gay equality, and Public Education!
                  Welcome aboard, friend! Why would you be against public education, though? If you're from San Francisco, you've surely seen me giving my public talks at the corner of Castro and Market Street, or walking up and down Polk Street. I like to be way out there in public, where every moment is pregnant with the possibility that I will break through another homosexual's defenses and be able to share with him the Good News of Jesus Christ!



                  I'm just sorry you've left San Francisco, as that could make it harder for us to fellowship with each other. Tell me friend, where, exactly, are you now living?
                  WARNING:
                  In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
                  REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Re: Just a poor wayfaring stranger

                    Originally posted by Faith_Machine View Post
                    Welcome aboard, friend! Why would you be against public education, though? If you're from San Francisco, you've surely seen me giving my public talks at the corner of Castro and Market Street, or walking up and down Polk Street. I like to be way out there in public, where every moment is pregnant with the possibility that I will break through another homosexual's defenses and be able to share with him the Good News of Jesus Christ!



                    I'm just sorry you've left San Francisco, as that could make it harder for us to fellowship with each other. Tell me friend, where, exactly, are you now living?
                    I am now roaming the holy roads of Texas! Here lately I have been roaming between Austin and Dallas basking in the fellowship that is so prevalent in Texas!

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Re: Just a poor wayfaring stranger

                      I love hipsters. And Texas. What churches have you been to?
                      And the great dragon was cast out, that old serpent, called the Devil, and Satan, which deceiveth the whole world: he was cast out into the earth, and his angels were cast out with him. Revelation 12:9

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Re: Just a poor wayfaring stranger

                        Originally posted by Roses224 View Post
                        I love hipsters. And Texas. What churches have you been to?
                        Not another lezbo mistaking Landover for a pickup joint!
                        sigpic
                        Isaiah 34:6 The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness, and with the blood of lambs and goats, with the fat of the kidneys of rams: for the LORD hath a sacrifice in Bozrah, and a great slaughter in the land of Idumea.

                        John 5:46,47 For had ye believed Moses, ye would have believed me: for he wrote of me. But if ye believe not his writings, how shall ye believe my words?

                        Join me in scoffing at backwards Muslims clinging to their beliefs in the face of the evidence!
                        The truth about volcanos
                        Sex and debauchery in public schools
                        Faith wins over science (explained for even the very stupid)
                        God Cures AIDS - GLORY!
                        Desert whale bones prove Great Flood once and for all.

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Re: Just a poor wayfaring stranger

                          I love Texas, but Austin is a definite danger zone, filled with "free thinkers" and college students. That town really went downhill when Katz's Deli closed. It was the only place where I could celebrate my troubling heritage with some Jewish food, yet listen to a proper, live country & western band at the same time.

                          Lotta country singers are hopped up on Benzedrine all the time, singing about adultery, but they tend to love America a lot more than the rock 'n' rollers, and I appreciate that.
                          WARNING:
                          In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
                          REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Re: Just a poor wayfaring stranger

                            Originally posted by Zechariah Smyth View Post
                            What can we call you, friend?

                            Also, what is ASL? Is it that deaf-and-dumb gangbanger crap?



                            Yours in Christ,

                            Z. Smyth
                            It would also consiquntly mean American Sign Language... white trash on the other hand... is you and most of the people on this site my friend.
                            Romans 1:26 For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature:
                            1:27 And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.
                            1:28 And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient;

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Redeemed Papist View Post
                              Not another lezbo mistaking Landover for a pickup joint!
                              Woman wranglers are drawn to True Christian(tm) women because of the massively increased levels of testosterine in their brains. They become ultra competitive (but because even they know women competing in any kind of sport is pointless (with the exception on Rythme Gymnastics (which is not a sport (and therefor exempt from this discussion)))) and chose (in the same way they chose to be muffin manipulators (but that's not the point of this discussion (but bear it in mind (always!))) to pit their furtive fondling fingers and treacherous titillating tongues (oh yes, it gets worse!) against the True Christian's(tm) manhandle.

                              It's all a game to the perverted penny whistlers: they don't love, they pervert, divert and convert.

                              YIC
                              Posted via Mobile Device
                              1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

                              Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

                              Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

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