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  • SpiderPig
    Unsaved trash
    Under Investigation
    • Mar 2008
    • 13

    #1

    Hello.

    I stumbled upon these forums and they peeked my interest. I'm trying to learn more about God and thought this would be a wonderful place to start. Thank you for having me!
  • Pastor Ezekiel
    Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
     
    • Sep 2006
    • 78556

    #2
    Re: Hello.

    Originally posted by SpiderPig View Post
    I stumbled upon these forums and they peeked my interest. I'm trying to learn more about God and thought this would be a wonderful place to start. Thank you for having me!
    Please tell us about yourself, pal. How old are you? What church do you attend? And why the unfortunate screen name?
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

    Comment

    • SpiderPig
      Unsaved trash
      Under Investigation
      • Mar 2008
      • 13

      #3
      Re: Hello.

      Why am I unsaved trash?

      Comment

      • Sister Isabella
        Unsaved trash
         
        • Mar 2008
        • 63

        #4
        Re: Hello.

        Hi there!

        Comment

        • Pastor Ezekiel
          Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
           
          • Sep 2006
          • 78556

          #5
          Re: Hello.

          Originally posted by SpiderPig View Post
          Why am I unsaved trash?
          That is a question you will have to answer. do you hate Jesus? Are you a queer?

          Tell us about yourself.
          Who Will Jesus Damn?

          Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

          Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

          Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

          Comment

          • SpiderPig
            Unsaved trash
            Under Investigation
            • Mar 2008
            • 13

            #6
            Re: Hello.

            Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
            Please tell us about yourself, pal. How old are you? What church do you attend? And why the unfortunate screen name?

            Well I'm a younger woman from Louisiana. I'm married and I have one small son who is the light of my life. I do not attend church, I have yet to find one that fills the proverbial cup if you will. I'm trying to find my religion and learning about various ones along the way even if they are not my cup of tea. I have a live and learn out look on life. I'm usually happy but I just feel as if something is missing in my life...

            How is my user name unfortunate? I think it's a rather catchy song.

            Comment

            • SpiderPig
              Unsaved trash
              Under Investigation
              • Mar 2008
              • 13

              #7
              Re: Hello.

              Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
              That is a question you will have to answer. do you hate Jesus? Are you a queer?

              Tell us about yourself.

              Why would I hate Jesus? Sorry that boggles my brain... No, I do not hate Jesus in any shape or form. I'm not a homosexual, but I fail to see the correlation between being gay and Jesus. What am I missing?

              Comment

              • Pastor Ezekiel
                Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                 
                • Sep 2006
                • 78556

                #8
                Re: Hello.

                Originally posted by SpiderPig View Post
                Well I'm a younger woman from Louisiana. I'm married and I have one small son who is the light of my life. I do not attend church, I have yet to find one that fills the proverbial cup if you will. I'm trying to find my religion and learning about various ones along the way even if they are not my cup of tea. I have a live and learn out look on life. I'm usually happy but I just feel as if something is missing in my life...

                How is my user name unfortunate? I think it's a rather catchy song.
                Jesus is what's missing from your life, little lady.

                And do you have your husband's permission to be posting in here?

                1 Corinthians 14:34-36
                Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience as also saith the law. And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church.

                Ephesians 5:22-24
                Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
                Who Will Jesus Damn?

                Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                Comment

                • SpiderPig
                  Unsaved trash
                  Under Investigation
                  • Mar 2008
                  • 13

                  #9
                  Re: Hello.

                  Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                  Jesus is what's missing from your life, little lady.

                  And do you have your husband's permission to be posting in here?

                  1 Corinthians 14:34-36
                  Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience as also saith the law. And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church.

                  Ephesians 5:22-24
                  Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

                  No, I have never asked his permission to post on a message board nor will I ever. We have a mutual respect and trust of each other. He goes to work Monday through Friday, I stay home take care of the home, meals, and watch our son. What knowledge we seek in our own private time we usually talk about before bed when we have our talk of the day.

                  Comment

                  • SpiderPig
                    Unsaved trash
                    Under Investigation
                    • Mar 2008
                    • 13

                    #10
                    Re: Hello.

                    So what is this place all about? School me please.

                    Comment

                    • Pastor Billy-Reuben
                      Senior Pastor
                      VP of Evangelical Outreach
                      On FIRE for Jesus
                      True Christian™
                      • Sep 2006
                      • 5812

                      #11
                      Re: Hello.

                      Originally posted by SpiderPig View Post
                      So what is this place all about? School me please.
                      It's about sharing the Word of God and praising His Holy name.

                      There are plenty of threads that will give you all the details:I hope this helps.

                      Pastor Billy-Reuben
                      Upon request I will cite scripture for all these facts in God's Holy Word.

                      ✝ This is a Christian community and we worship GOD of the Holy bible, the only Living GOD. We worship Jesus Christ, Son of GOD and Savior. Anything else is absurd. ✝
                      Trump / Arpaio 2016 -- The Government We Deserve
                      #ChristianLivesMatter

                      sigpic

                      Comment

                      • Ezekiel Bathfire
                        Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
                        Christ's Rottweiler
                         
                        • Jan 2008
                        • 22940

                        #12
                        Re: Hello.

                        Originally posted by SpiderPig View Post
                        I stumbled upon these forums and they peeked my interest...
                        And yet you ask to be "schooled". This is the trouble with women, as the Lord recognized. You look but do not see.

                        Anyway, until you obtain your husband's permission and approval, I for one will be unable to help.
                        sigpic


                        “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

                        Author of such illuminating essays as,
                        Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

                        Comment

                        • SpiderPig
                          Unsaved trash
                          Under Investigation
                          • Mar 2008
                          • 13

                          #13
                          Re: Hello.

                          Originally posted by Pastor Billy-Reuben View Post
                          It's about sharing the Word of God and praising His Holy name.

                          There are plenty of threads that will give you all the details:I hope this helps.

                          Pastor Billy-Reuben
                          Thank you so much. Off to read now.

                          Originally posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
                          And yet you ask to be "schooled". This is the trouble with women, as the Lord recognized. You look but do not see.

                          Anyway, until you obtain your husband's permission and approval, I for one will be unable to help.
                          I asked to be schooled on the way y'all do things. If you read where I posted earlier I said I am studying many religions on my path of spiritual enlightenment.

                          I find it slightly twisted that I ask for your knowledge of God, and you deny me over something as frivolous as not asking my husbands permission to post on a message board. Would you rather I burn in hell or know the Lord? I'm grasping at straws here to understand your point of view.

                          Comment

                          • Pastor Billy-Reuben
                            Senior Pastor
                            VP of Evangelical Outreach
                            On FIRE for Jesus
                            True Christian™
                            • Sep 2006
                            • 5812

                            #14
                            Re: Hello.

                            Originally posted by SpiderPig View Post
                            I find it slightly twisted that I ask for your knowledge of God, and you deny me over something as frivolous as not asking my husbands permission to post on a message board. Would you rather I burn in hell or know the Lord? I'm grasping at straws here to understand your point of view.
                            Your husband needs to get saved, and then he can help you get saved. Fortunately for you, there's something you can do -- it's not entirely in his hands.

                            Here is how you need to start acting around him to jump-start the process:

                            I Peter 3
                            1 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;

                            Be in subjection to him. If he is an unbeliever, he will be won over by your conversation.

                            2 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.

                            You should fear your husband, respect his authority.

                            3 Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;

                            Start dressing modestly in plain clothes. Stop teasing your hair and wearing jewelery.

                            4 But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.

                            The best way to make yourself attractive is to have a meek and quiet spirit.

                            5 For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:

                            Be like the holy women of yesteryear.

                            6 Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.

                            You would do well to emulate Sara, and start referring to your husband as "lord".

                            If you do all of this, then...

                            7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

                            Your husband will give you honor as the weaker vessel, and you can both become saved.

                            SHOUT GLORY!

                            Pastor Billy-Reuben
                            Upon request I will cite scripture for all these facts in God's Holy Word.

                            ✝ This is a Christian community and we worship GOD of the Holy bible, the only Living GOD. We worship Jesus Christ, Son of GOD and Savior. Anything else is absurd. ✝
                            Trump / Arpaio 2016 -- The Government We Deserve
                            #ChristianLivesMatter

                            sigpic

                            Comment

                            • Roberta
                              Anti La Leche League Organizer
                              True Christian™
                              • Jan 2008
                              • 1817

                              #15
                              Re: Hello.

                              Bonjour Cochonelle,

                              It is very unusual to meet a young woman from Louisiana who is married! You must have a fairly high concentration of white blood.

                              Did your wedding take place in a Christian church? Was it before or after you gave birth? Oh, and where does your husband go from Monday - Friday?

                              It is important for the Pastors to learn something about you if they are to "school" you in the right direction. Unfortunately, many residents of Louisiana are french, papist or both and consequently, doomed to eternal blackening in the fires of hell like one of Paul Prudhomme's redfish.

                              If you are truly seeking Jesus Christ, you must first renounce crayfish, beignets, communion wafers, chicory and Dixie beer. Only then can you begin the quest for salvation.

                              YIC, Robbie
                              Come climb my mountains.

                              Comment

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