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  • #31
    Re: Yay, an introduction.

    Originally posted by GordiPordi View Post
    What's that? I can't hear you over me putting on my waist coat and fedora. Now, onto sleep!
    It thinks there's something original in the stir up the beehive then leave approach. It's a purely hypothetical construct that it thinks will baffle us by being so unbelievably perverse yet still claiming to be a churchgoer.

    Pity it, brethren.
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    Isaiah 34:6 The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness, and with the blood of lambs and goats, with the fat of the kidneys of rams: for the LORD hath a sacrifice in Bozrah, and a great slaughter in the land of Idumea.

    John 5:46,47 For had ye believed Moses, ye would have believed me: for he wrote of me. But if ye believe not his writings, how shall ye believe my words?

    Join me in scoffing at backwards Muslims clinging to their beliefs in the face of the evidence!
    The truth about volcanos
    Sex and debauchery in public schools
    Faith wins over science (explained for even the very stupid)
    God Cures AIDS - GLORY!
    Desert whale bones prove Great Flood once and for all.

    Comment

    • #32
      Re: Yay, an introduction.

      Originally posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
      You sleep wearing a waist coat and fedora?
      I just had to look up 'fedora'. I was thinking it might be something that needed strapping on.

      YIC
      Genesis 22:2 And he said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.

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      I know God wouldn't let me believe in Him if He didn't exist.

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      • #33
        Re: Yay, an introduction. I am an 'it'.

        Originally posted by ItHead View Post
        The name's Gordon, I often go by "Gordi" I'm an atheist and I love video games.
        Enjoy Hell.

        Why are you here?

        And since I saw someone comment on my gender I am genderneutral . . . hope to enlighten at least one of you to see that gays are not wrong.
        Not wrong about what?

        And if you identify yourself as an "it", then why would you care about gays? You claim not to be one, It-Head.
        Bible boring? Nonsense!
        Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
        You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

        Comment

        • #34
          Re: Yay, an introduction. I am an 'it'.

          Dear Geordi La Forge,

          Thank you for making an introduction thread! That is the first step on your road to salvation!

          The next step would be for you to stop fibbing. You keep claiming to be a virgin, I guess because you think you're going to curry favor with us, but what you don't know is that I've dealt with plenty of "polyamorous" people in my day.

          I dated "poly" women before I got saved, and now that I'm a Christian, I routinely go into their sex clubs and crash their swinger's parties to minister to their spiritual needs and preach the Good News of Jesus Christ to them. I know from experience that there is no such thing as a polyamorous virgin.

          "Polyamorous" is nothing but a fancy word for "sexually promiscuous," and if you're polyamorous, you sure as heck ain't no virgin.

          Now then, how about you come clean and list for us the name and address of every single person you've had sex with and tell us what-all you did? If you can remember.

          Please be as detailed as possible.
          WARNING:
          In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
          REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

          Comment

          • #35
            Re: Yay, an introduction.

            Originally posted by GordiPordi View Post
            All I can say is, I'd rather be in hell for standing up for my beliefs and for loving someone than go to heaven for hating those I love.
            Friend, I think you are going to find that you will be bending over in Hell, not standing up.
            Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
            Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
            Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
            Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
            Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
            Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

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            • #36
              Re: Yay, an introduction. I am an 'it'.

              Isn't Star Trek against your religion? And I AM NOT a virgin, unlike you, clearly you are the not a slut , enjoy damnation. I'm not dealing with the piffleing idiots on tumblr anymore, I'm heading back to TinyPenis.Com, land of the gays, trans, and where they make fun of idiots like me.
              Teaching how to love everyone.

              Comment

              • #37
                Re: Yay, an introduction.

                Originally posted by GordiPordi View Post
                And also, my favourite bible quote would be, "Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself."

                BIBLE, Leviticus 19:18
                I'm glad you like Lev. 19, but do you ignore the chapters before and after it?

                Lev 18:22                ,26 Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.

                26 Ye shall therefore keep my statutes and my judgments, and shall not commit any of these abominations; neither any of your own nation, nor any stranger that sojourneth among you:

                Lev 20:13 If a man also lies with a man, as he lies with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

                How does it feel to be so close to becoming an abomination before God? You don't want to go to hell, do you?
                Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.


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                • #38
                  Re: Yay, an introduction. I am an 'it'.

                  OKAY, WHO THE FUCK KEEPS EDITING MY POSTS?! WHOEVER IS CALLED ME A SLUT AND AN IT. FUCK THIS SITE. FUCK YOU ALL. YOU CLEARLY ARE A BUNCH OF RUMOUR-STARTING GOD-HATING HUMANS. I HOPE YOUR GOD SMITES YOU, GOOD DAY.
                  Teaching how to love everyone.

                  Comment

                  • #39
                    Re: Yay, an introduction. I am an 'it'.

                    Originally posted by GordiPordi View Post
                    OKAY, WHO THE piffle KEEPS EDITING MY POSTS?! WHOEVER IS CALLED ME A SLUT AND AN IT. piffle THIS SITE. piffle YOU ALL. YOU CLEARLY ARE A BUNCH OF RUMOUR-STARTING GOD-HATING HUMANS. I HOPE YOUR GOD SMITES YOU, GOOD DAY.
                    So show us where we're doing what the King James Bible says not to do.
                    This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

                    Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance

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                    • #40
                      Re: Yay, an introduction. I am an 'it'.

                      Originally posted by GordiPordi View Post
                      Isn't Star Trek against your religion? And I AM NOT a virgin, unlike you, clearly you are the not a slut , enjoy damnation. I'm not dealing with the piffleing idiots on tumblr anymore, I'm heading back to TinyPenis.Com, land of the gays, trans, and where they make fun of idiots like me.
                      This doesn't even make sense. "you are the not a slut"? Yes, we are not sluts.

                      Tumblr? TinyPenis.com?

                      Have fun, Miss(ter) Thing.
                      Bible boring? Nonsense!
                      Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
                      You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

                      Comment

                      • #41
                        Re: Yay, an introduction. I am an 'it'.

                        Come on, it's not that hard. I have a questions for you.
                        Rom.1:26-27
                        For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature. And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.

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                        • #42
                          Re: Yay, an introduction. I am an 'it'.

                          Originally posted by GordiPordi View Post
                          And I AM NOT a virgin...
                          I am very pleased that you chose to come clean with us about your little virginity fib. This is major. It may not seem like a big thing, but admitting you lied is a huge step in the right direction.

                          Now then, how about accepting Jesus Christ as your personal savior? It's real easy to do, and only takes a couple of minutes. You just have to tell Him you're sorry for all the sin in your life and invite Him to come into you and take control of your life.

                          Please, please, please do it. It would really go a long way toward making up for all the mean things you've said to us.
                          WARNING:
                          In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
                          REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

                          Comment

                          • #43
                            Re: Yay, an introduction.

                            Originally posted by GordiPordi View Post
                            All I can say is, I'd rather be in hell for standing up for my beliefs and for loving someone than go to heaven for hating those I love.
                            I promise you, Jesus is going to grant that request.

                            "He that sitteth in the heavens shall laugh: the LORD shall have them in derision." Psalm 2:4
                            Who Will Jesus Damn?

                            Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                            Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                            Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

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