X
 
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
  • Mary-Jane
    Unsaved trash
    Under Investigation
    • Oct 2012
    • 14

    #1

    Greetings true christians

    Hello to all the wonderful true Christians on this site!
    My name is Mary-Jane and I love this site and wish to meet the amazing men and woman of god on here!
    I am a female, 17 to be exact and was given permission by my father to register on this site, with his watchful eye on my screen. I am currently about to be married to a fine christian boy (as my mother calls him) and am happily waiting to learn all I can about the true children of god on this site
  • Mary Etheldreda
    Gushing for Jesus
     
    • Sep 2011
    • 23775

    #2
    Re: Greetings true christians

    Originally posted by Mary-Jane View Post
    Hello to all the wonderful true Christians on this site!
    My name is Mary-Jane and I love this site and wish to meet the amazing men and woman of god on here!
    I am a female, 17 to be exact and was given permission by my father to register on this site, with his watchful eye on my screen. I am currently about to be married to a fine christian boy (as my mother calls him) and am happily waiting to learn all I can about the true children of god on this site
    Hi Mary-Jane! Welcome to our friendly forum!

    What does your fiance do for a living?
    Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

    Comment

    • Pastor Ezekiel
      Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
       
      • Sep 2006
      • 78556

      #3
      Re: Greetings true christians

      We worship God, not god.

      If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

      If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

      You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

      Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.
      Who Will Jesus Damn?

      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

      Comment

      • Brother Harold Porter
        Landover Senior Outreach
        Touching Men, Women and Children with the Good News!
        True Christian™
        • Jun 2010
        • 8236

        #4
        Re: Greetings true christians

        Welcome young lady. I have to say I don't like your username. Streetwise slang for the dangerous narcotic that leads to mud-packing.

        Which fine Baptist church will you be joined together in for God? What precious Scripture makes you jump out of bed each morning to serve your Godly huband-to-be?

        In Christ
        Matthew 19:14 "But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven."

        sigpic

        Comment

        • Billy Bob Jenkins
          Family Man of the Year 2010-2013
          About as Straight and Manly as you can get
          Hates anal sex. And trees.
          True Christian™
          • May 2010
          • 8337

          #5
          Re: Greetings true christians

          Welcome into the fold, friend. I hope that Jesus will protect you from the Hellfire He created for default situations. Try moving mountains using your faith. That is the litmus test for Salvation. See Matthew 17:20 and Luke 17:6. If you cannot move mountains, then refer yourself to John 3:18 for a portent of what surely awaits you in the hereafter.
          The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!

          Comment

          • Faith_Machine
            Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
            True Christian™
            • Mar 2011
            • 10050

            #6
            Re: Greetings true christians

            Hey there, MJ! Always a pleasure to welcome an eager, fresh-faced, young lady to the fold.

            Say, I've got an idea! Why don't you upload a profile pic? I always like to be able to put a face to the name.
            WARNING:
            In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
            REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

            Comment

            • Mary-Jane
              Unsaved trash
              Under Investigation
              • Oct 2012
              • 14

              #7
              Re: Greetings true christians

              Originally posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
              Hi Mary-Jane! Welcome to our friendly forum!

              What does your fiance do for a living?
              Hello there! My fiance is taking after the business of his family, he prefers not to talk too much on it but my father has assured me that it is a good occupation c: I trust in my father to know he choose the right man for me to marry and trust the job is indeed a good one! ^^

              Comment

              • Mary-Jane
                Unsaved trash
                Under Investigation
                • Oct 2012
                • 14

                #8
                Re: Greetings true christians

                Originally posted by Faith_Machine View Post
                Hey there, MJ! Always a pleasure to welcome an eager, fresh-faced, young lady to the fold.

                Say, I've got an idea! Why don't you upload a profile pic? I always like to be able to put a face to the name.
                Thank you kindly Faith_Machine! And thank you for the lovely welcome, I like your idea,my father here says it's a good idea too to have an image of myself up but we are without any camera sadly so Ill have to approve of him another picture c: Something important of course,any idea what would be good? asking you for your opinion as another woman in all due respect of course c:

                Comment

                • Mary-Jane
                  Unsaved trash
                  Under Investigation
                  • Oct 2012
                  • 14

                  #9
                  Re: Greetings true christians

                  Originally posted by Brother Harold Porter View Post
                  Welcome young lady. I have to say I don't like your username. Streetwise slang for the dangerous narcotic that leads to mud-packing.

                  Which fine Baptist church will you be joined together in for God? What precious Scripture makes you jump out of bed each morning to serve your Godly huband-to-be?

                  In Christ
                  Hello to you as well c: My father says it's a name he choose for me since my mothers mother had this name,he just says it should continue on but he's ok with it and thinks Ill grow up well if I keep God and Jesus in my heart and ask for forgiveness as I am a young woman.
                  And I am not sure which church I attend to by name, for the church I attend frequently changes it's name unfortunately over and over again and so my father has told me just to call it by 'the house of God'
                  And whichever verse from the bible that I have been told the night before or prayed with always makes me get out of bed to serve my husband to be

                  Comment

                  • Mary-Jane
                    Unsaved trash
                    Under Investigation
                    • Oct 2012
                    • 14

                    #10
                    Re: Greetings true christians

                    Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                    We worship God, not god.

                    If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

                    If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

                    You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

                    Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.
                    I understand Pastor Ezekiel if I am granted permission to address you as such; I apologize most for my bad grammer and not giving the lord the title as God,please forgive me.. I will try my best with my father here by my side to keep a respectful tongue, if not I am sure he will read it over after and give me a much deserved hit for my bad mouthing someone respectable.
                    I am well aware of the rules and wish nothing but to hear the words of true Christians like yourself and learn from your wisdom in all due respect.
                    Praise the lord for amazing people like yourself who get on the internet to show the world we have good men of god online still as well My father says besides this site there is no good men of god out on the Internet.

                    Comment

                    • Mary-Jane
                      Unsaved trash
                      Under Investigation
                      • Oct 2012
                      • 14

                      #11
                      Re: Greetings true christians

                      Originally posted by Billy Bob Jenkins View Post
                      Welcome into the fold, friend. I hope that Jesus will protect you from the Hellfire He created for default situations. Try moving mountains using your faith. That is the litmus test for Salvation. See Matthew 17:20 and Luke 17:6. If you cannot move mountains, then refer yourself to John 3:18 for a portent of what surely awaits you in the hereafter.
                      Thank you for your kindest hopes for me, I hope with all my heart and being that Jesus protects me.

                      Comment

                      • Mary Etheldreda
                        Gushing for Jesus
                         
                        • Sep 2011
                        • 23775

                        #12
                        Re: Greetings true christians

                        Originally posted by Mary-Jane View Post
                        And whichever verse from the bible that I have been told the night before or prayed with always makes me get out of bed to serve my husband to be
                        Hmmm, that's odd.

                        Try this. Pray really hard with your Holy Bible in your lap. Ask God to reveal His message to you. Then open the Bible to a random page and read what's there. I did this years ago and was led to the following:


                        And the ass said unto Balaam, Am not I thine ass, upon which thou hast ridden ever since I was thine unto this day?
                        was I ever wont to do so unto thee? And he said, Nay.
                        Numbers 22:30


                        Not only does it have my very favorite word in the American language, "nay," but it showed me that if God can speak through an ass, He can speak through anyone, and that I should trust His message wherever I should find it. Please, go get your Holy Bible right now and let the LORD speak to you.

                        Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

                        Comment

                        • Mary-Jane
                          Unsaved trash
                          Under Investigation
                          • Oct 2012
                          • 14

                          #13
                          Re: Greetings true christians

                          Originally posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
                          Hmmm, that's odd.

                          Try this. Pray really hard with your Holy Bible in your lap. Ask God to reveal His message to you. Then open the Bible to a random page and read what's there. I did this years ago and was led to the following:


                          And the ass said unto Balaam, Am not I thine ass, upon which thou hast ridden ever since I was thine unto this day?
                          was I ever wont to do so unto thee? And he said, Nay.
                          Numbers 22:30


                          Not only does it have my very favorite word in the American language, "nay," but it showed me that if God can speak through an ass, He can speak through anyone, and that I should trust His message wherever I should find it. Please, go get your Holy Bible right now and let the LORD speak to you.

                          Oh my, that is an amazing way to learn a favorite verse! And effective if god looks past the fact I am a woman to spare me time to find a favorite page of his, but see here my church gives us sometimes the wrong bibles to read from so which bible is the lords true bible, father tells me if I ever want to learn to let true Christians tell me, please forgive my lack of the important things

                          Comment

                          • Redeemed Papist
                            Former Mary Hailer who has seen The Light(c)
                            True Christian™
                            • Jul 2011
                            • 10409

                            #14
                            Re: Greetings true christians

                            It's always good to visualise an eager young virgin wide open to receive the love of Jesus bursting deep within her.
                            sigpic
                            Isaiah 34:6 The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness, and with the blood of lambs and goats, with the fat of the kidneys of rams: for the LORD hath a sacrifice in Bozrah, and a great slaughter in the land of Idumea.

                            John 5:46,47 For had ye believed Moses, ye would have believed me: for he wrote of me. But if ye believe not his writings, how shall ye believe my words?

                            Join me in scoffing at backwards Muslims clinging to their beliefs in the face of the evidence!
                            The truth about volcanos
                            Sex and debauchery in public schools
                            Faith wins over science (explained for even the very stupid)
                            God Cures AIDS - GLORY!
                            Desert whale bones prove Great Flood once and for all.

                            Comment

                            • Mary-Jane
                              Unsaved trash
                              Under Investigation
                              • Oct 2012
                              • 14

                              #15
                              Re: Greetings true christians

                              Originally posted by Redeemed Papist View Post
                              It's always good to visualise an eager young virgin wide open to receive the love of Jesus bursting deep within her.
                              Thank you kindly Papist I hope Jesus loves me as much as he loves the True Christians of this site, his kind and loving nature has brought me here to learn from these amazing people!

                              Comment

                              Working...