X
 
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
  • deargod
    Confirmed Enemy of God
    • Jan 2014
    • 4

    #1

    yo homies, another false Christian here

    So y'all be trippin. Just kidding, but don't you think you are a little extreme? Where in the bible does it say Baptist is the one true religion? And why do you hate things the bible doesn't say to hate?
    I don't go to church, but I'm a Christian.
    I found Jesus when I was born.
    My favorite line in the Bible is Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.

    P.S. Jesus taught love not hate towards anything but your cult.
  • Mary Etheldreda
    Gushing for Jesus
     
    • Sep 2011
    • 23775

    #2
    Re: yo homies

    Hello, and welcome to our friendly forums! I'm always curious when someone comes in and identifies themselves as a Christian, and yet is completely ignorant of the actual faith of Christ. So tell us, what do you think it means to be a Christian?
    Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

    Comment

    • Pastor Ezekiel
      Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
       
      • Sep 2006
      • 78556

      #3
      Re: yo homies

      Can anyone translate this for me? All I get is clicks and grunts.
      Who Will Jesus Damn?

      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

      Comment

      • deargod
        Confirmed Enemy of God
        • Jan 2014
        • 4

        #4
        Re: yo homies

        What I think is that you guys shuls be arrested for saying things like slavery should be legal and it is alright to rape as long as you marry the girl and pay her father.

        Comment

        • Mary Etheldreda
          Gushing for Jesus
           
          • Sep 2011
          • 23775

          #5
          Re: yo homies

          Originally posted by deargod View Post
          What I think is that you guys shuls be arrested for saying things like slavery should be legal and it is alright to rape as long as you marry the girl and pay her father.
          You think people should be arrested for reading the Holy Bible aloud in a Christian church community?

          Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

          Comment

          • Pastor Ezekiel
            Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
             
            • Sep 2006
            • 78556

            #6
            Re: yo homies

            Originally posted by deargod View Post
            What I think is that you guys shuls be arrested for saying things like slavery should be legal and it is alright to rape as long as you marry the girl and pay her father.
            First of all, this is NOT a debate forum. We're right and you're wrong, according to Jesus and the Holy Word of God. Please read THIS thread before making an even bigger fool of yourself.

            Secondly, while the internets might seem to be "free" to you, this particular corner of the internets is a privately owned Christian forum. The rights you have on this forum are listed HERE. Please contact a Pastor immediately if you feel that any of your rights have been violated.

            Finally, your unsaved opinions or tantrums are not even slightly of interest to us. We follow the Holy Word of God TO THE LETTER, and make no apologies for that. One of the most important commandments in the Bible tells us to avoid unsaved scum such as yourself. You wandered in here uninvited, and unwelcome .

            If you want to debate people, THIS is the place to go.

            Please make a thread of your own in the "Introductions" section of the forum, so that we can properly greet you. Tell us about yourself, your church, and how you came to find Jesus.

            And if you're here to flame us, better take a look at THIS before making an even bigger ass out of yourself.

            I will pray that the Holy Spirit enter you and chase the demons out of your rectum and let Jesus fill you with His Grace. If you use your God-given free will to reject Christ and His temporary death on the cross for my sins, then you are sending yourself to hellfire.
            Who Will Jesus Damn?

            Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

            Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

            Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

            Comment

            • Basilissa
              South of the Border outreach program
              True Christian™
               
              • Mar 2013
              • 12990

              #7
              Re: yo homies

              Originally posted by deargod View Post
              What I think is that you guys shuls be arrested for saying things like slavery should be legal and it is alright to rape as long as you marry the girl and pay her father.
              Hello sweetie.

              Why don't you sit down and read the Holy Bible? You will find answers to your concerns there.
              God created fossils to test our faith.

              * * *

              My favorite LBC sermons:
              True Christians are Perfect!
              True Christian™ Love.
              Salvation™ made Easy!
              You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
              Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
              Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
              Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
              Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
              The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
              Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
              God HATES Rational Thinking!
              True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.

              Comment

              • Mark L. Snyde, PhD
                True Christian™
                True Christian™
                • Nov 2013
                • 1284

                #8
                Re: yo homies

                Originally posted by deargod View Post
                What I think is that you guys shuls be arrested for saying things like slavery should be legal and it is alright to rape as long as you marry the girl and pay her father.
                You think we should be imprisoned for following the Word of God? God is perfectly righteous so whatever He says is good and righteous is exactly that.

                Look at all the young Nigras standing around in their ghettos with nothing to do but smoke the crack and spread the AIDS. They were meant to toil constructively in the fields of God's chosen and favored race. God gave them natural sunscreen in the form of an abundance of melanin, while unsightly to behold, it is nonetheless an effective means of protection against the sun. He constructed their smaller brains with fewer glial cells to keep them from being distracted from their menial tasks by complex and abstract reasoning.

                A Nigra with nothing to do is a dangerous pie-stealing lust consumed animal bent on savagery. When we go against God's plans, we only cause problems for everyone.

                It is people like you who think they know better than the Creator how things should be that will be put in the final prison.

                Read the Bible and get right with God, friend. It is your only hope for salvation from the flames of hell.
                sigpic

                I Kings 7:23

                And he made a moulten Sea, ten cubites from the one brim to the other: it was round all about, & his height was fiue cubits: and a line of thirtie cubites did compasse it round about.

                New here? Desiring to be pleasing in the eyes of The Lord and His Followers?

                Then do as directed by our esteemed Pastors and head on over to the Introductions subforum and make your first post there, friend. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus. Anything else you want to share with us about how Jesus has blessed you is welcomed too.

                Are you a hater of God that believes He is a morally bankrupt monster? Read Why, you ask, is God so angry? to see that it is in fact you that is the monster that mercilessly and infinitely torments God.

                Stop this relentless torturing of God and accept Jesus today!

                Comment

                • Nobar King
                  Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
                  Christ's Guardian
                  True Christian™
                  • Sep 2007
                  • 23748

                  #9
                  Re: yo homies

                  Originally posted by deargod View Post
                  What I think is that you guys shuls be arrested for saying things like slavery should be legal and it is alright to rape as long as you marry the girl and pay her father.
                  I think you should be arrested for religious intolerance. How do you like that?
                  May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

                  Comment

                  • Pastor Ed Lowman
                    Southern Hospitality Exemplified
                    Always kind and loving
                    True Christian™
                    • Sep 2011
                    • 1838

                    #10
                    Re: yo homies

                    Originally posted by deargod View Post
                    So y'all be trippin. Just kidding, but don't you think you are a little extreme?
                    If we did, don't you think we'd change positions? Instead, we hold fast to the Truth of God™ which is sealed and eternal (see 2 Cor 5:1).

                    Deut. 4:2: Ye shall not add unto the word which I command you, neither shall ye diminish ought from it, that ye may keep the commandments of the Lord your God which I command you.

                    Originally posted by deargod View Post
                    Where in the bible does it say Baptist is the one true religion? And why do you hate things the bible doesn't say to hate?
                    There are two main ways to say something--implicitly or explicitly (in so many words). We follow all of God's Commandments and Principles. But you can't know them without actually reading them. That's the key.

                    And we only hate what God hates...

                    Revelation 2:2: I know thy works, and thy labour, and thy patience, and how thou canst not bear them which are evil: and thou hast tried them which say they are apostles, and are not, and hast found them liars:


                    The Lord predicted long ago that He would have a people who are Saved© by Him and made clean through departing from unrighteousness and embracing the Righteousness of God...

                    Ezekiel 37:23: Neither shall they defile themselves any more with their idols, nor with their detestable things, nor with any of their transgressions: but I will save them out of all their dwellingplaces, wherein they have sinned, and will cleanse them: so shall they be my people, and I will be their God.


                    Originally posted by deargod View Post
                    I don't go to church, but I'm a Christian.
                    So you're going to tear Hebrews 10:25 out of the Bible? Saying you're a Christian and don't go to church is like saying you're a pig who never wallows in filth.

                    Originally posted by deargod View Post
                    I found Jesus when I was born.
                    Check your Bible, sonny-boy...

                    Psalm 58:3:
                    The wicked are estranged from the womb: they go astray as soon as they be born, speaking lies.

                    We aren't born close to God.

                    Originally posted by deargod View Post
                    My favorite line in the Bible is Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.
                    Excellent verse (Matthew 7:12). We practice it, and if we're wrong, would love nothing more than someone who can rebuke us and set us in the right Path of Salvation™ to do so. Can you?

                    Originally posted by deargod View Post
                    P.S. Jesus taught love not hate towards anything but your cult.
                    Please read the Bible. That will take care of 99.9% of your problems...

                    Isaiah 1:14: Your new moons and your appointed feasts my soul hateth: they are a trouble unto me; I am weary to bear them.

                    Romans 9:13: As it is written, Jacob have I loved, but Esau have I hated.


                    Prayerfully Yours,

                    Pastor Ed

                    Comment

                    • Naomi Ruth Lamb
                      True Christian™
                      True Christian™
                      • Nov 2013
                      • 999

                      #11
                      Re: yo homies, another false Christian here

                      Oh, I could be under Pastor Ed forever and still be craving more of him. PRAISE JESUS for your ministry, Pastor. I am sending a special pie to your home for Sunday dinner.

                      Deargod, Have you ever considered suckling at the teat of a True Christian ™ so that the milk of God's Word (The KJV 1611 Bible) can enter your being, filling you with its truth and wisdom? Our pastors would love to lay their hands on you and anoint you with special oil, chasing demons from your rectum and opening up space for the Holy Ghost (the only ghost I believe in) to take up residence in your heart.

                      You see, we here at Landover Baptist Church do NOT say that only Baptists will make it to heaven. JESUS says it. Jesus speaks through such holy men of God as our pastors so that we with less knowledge will have a light unto our paths and a lamp unto our feet (Psalms 119:105).

                      Nothing would please me more than to have you suckle the teats of our pastors while I watch. I could fall on my knees and open my mouth in PRAISE and WORSHIP to our GLORIOUS LORD JESUS, knowing that from that point forward, your mind and your spirit would be ready to rest eternally in the bosom of Abraham.

                      Give it some thought, sweetheart. The alternative is laying down with lucifer's long and barbed manhood as it pierces you in places not fit for public consumption.

                      IN HIM,
                      NRL
                      1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers."
                      Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
                      Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
                      Locations in 50 States and Canada
                      !Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
                      Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
                      Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.

                      Comment

                      Working...