ASK SANTA! MAKE YOUR WISHES COME TRUE!

[Santa Claus]

Ho Ho Ho!

It's Santa here! Ask me anything! I'm preparing you gifts as you read this! Let's make this the best Christmas EVER! Remember your loved ones but also those who have less than you, those who suffer and are poor! I come and I deliver to everyone!

Be nice and not naughty and I'll come to you soon!



Ho Ho Ho!

[Marshal Kim Jong-un]

Re: ASK SANTA! MAKE YOUR WISHES COME TRUE!

Ho Ho Ho!

It's Santa here! Ask me anything! I'm preparing you gifts as you read this! Let's make this the best Christmas EVER! Remember your loved ones but also those who have less than you, those who suffer and are poor! I come and I deliver to everyone!

Be nice and not naughty and I'll come to you soon!



Ho Ho Ho!

Friend, I wish for nothing other than the reunification of Korea and the happiness of the Korean people who have suffered brutally under imperialist sanctions, and for the glorious Juche socialist revolution to advance worldwide so that the workers can seize the means of production and break free from the liberal propaganda that has enslaved them. Thank you very much, Comrade Santa Claus, and a very merry christmas to you.

[Basilissa]

Re: ASK SANTA! MAKE YOUR WISHES COME TRUE!

Great. Two impersonators fall for each other. At least the second one impersonates a real person, I suppose that makes him (her?) somewhat less delusional?

Burn in , sinners!

[handmaiden]

Re: ASK SANTA! MAKE YOUR WISHES COME TRUE!

Great. Two impersonators fall for each other. At least the second one impersonates a real person, I suppose that makes him (her?) somewhat less delusional?

Burn in , sinners!

Go get 'em, Sister!


Cheeringly Yours,
Handmaiden

[Marshal Kim Jong-un]

Re: ASK SANTA! MAKE YOUR WISHES COME TRUE!

Great. Two impersonators fall for each other. At least the second one impersonates a real person, I suppose that makes him (her?) somewhat less delusional?

Burn in , sinners!

Comrade, if I die and go to hell I will organize the Korean people, as well as socialists from other countries to uprise and overthrow your puny god. The might of the Juche revolution will crush him and his filthy imperialist angels too! Friend, you have been brainwashed by liberal capitalist propaganda, and only through science and socialism can you wake up from it. I send my prayers your way.

[Roland]

Re: ASK SANTA! MAKE YOUR WISHES COME TRUE!

[...] I send my prayers your way.

Since when do communists pray?

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: ASK SANTA! MAKE YOUR WISHES COME TRUE!

Since when do communists pray?

More than likely snowflake trolls from the DNC that still can't get over Trump's landslide win. What else to you expect for the purveyors of "free" stuff - the perfect pair, Santa Claus and socialism. Just as we've freed ourselves from Obamunism (or should that have been Juche Obamunism), they're all looking for a new angle.

[Santa Claus]

Re: ASK SANTA! MAKE YOUR WISHES COME TRUE!

Friend, I wish for nothing other than the reunification of Korea and the happiness of the Korean people who have suffered brutally under imperialist sanctions, and for the glorious Juche socialist revolution to advance worldwide so that the workers can seize the means of production and break free from the liberal propaganda that has enslaved them. Thank you very much, Comrade Santa Claus, and a very merry christmas to you.

Un, my dear boy! Did you like the fondue set I gave you when you were studying in Switzerland? You were not supposed to dip your own body parts into the molten cheese. Read the instruction manual next time.

That said, you're an amateur. I mean, you try to utilize the same tools of Power that I and Jesus use but you're failing. Let me explain. You want power? OK, the tools to use are intimidation, guilt, and fear. Jesus wins big time when it comes to these, but I'm a close second. I admit that the deterrents that Jesus uses are mosly metaphysical but he also makes some great headlines with earthquakes, floods, mass shootings, disease, and an occasional asteroid strike. I can't compete with that. My only deterrent is to refrain from rewarding. Still, I do fairly well among kids. You have only hunger, intimidation of family members, mindless executions, and forced labor. OK, I concur... 1. Jesus, 2. You and me a distant third.

But that is not enough. You want power? You should also reward and while your punishments are locally effective (but inferior to those of Jesus), you fail miserably when it comes to rewarding. You have nothing to offer expect to the very tiny minority of high party officials, who only want to oust you. Jesus does better. He promises some supernatural rewards that cannot be disproven, you can't disprove it 100%.

I win here. My rewards are tangible goods. They may be cheap plastic but people LOVE cheap plastic. You can't even give your people that, nor can Jesus. 1. Santa (Ho, Ho, Ho, that's ME!), 2. Jesus, 3. you.

You expect worship. You get subdued fear. I deliver something real. My gifts do not depend on obscure readings of Juche or any other holy text. Try to beat that.

You've been naughty. No re-unification this year, but I'm sending you a two-week gift voucher for a fat camp on Baekdu Mountain.

[Santa Claus]

Re: ASK SANTA! MAKE YOUR WISHES COME TRUE!

Great. Two impersonators fall for each other. At least the second one impersonates a real person, I suppose that makes him (her?) somewhat less delusional?

Burn in , sinners!

Sweetie, whatever happened to you? Is this because of the gift list? I'm sorry (and I've said this umpteen times): I do not deliver alive Christian bodybuilder/bacherlors through chimneys to your stocking. It just won't work. You'll have to ask Jesus for that!

Your community of all people should know that the things done in someone's name are not at all imaginary. OK, some kids get an anxiety attack if I threaten them by giving less presents but mostly the joy and happiness and the plastic toys that trade owners are very real. Can you say that much of your invisible friend? You used to love me as a little girl! What happened? I know, when you were a child, you spoke as a child, you understood as a child: but when you became a spinster woman, you put away childish things. Or did you?

But you've been nice. No menfolk delivered but you'll be getting some yarn for your knitting. Make a bigger stocking and we'll reconsider your request next year!

Since when do communists pray?

Roland, you're a sweet boy. You've been nice! A case of Trappist Westvletern 12. 10.2% ABV is coming your way, as always!

[Santa Claus]

Re: ASK SANTA! MAKE YOUR WISHES COME TRUE!

More than likely snowflake trolls from the DNC that still can't get over Trump's landslide win. What else to you expect for the purveyors of "free" stuff - the perfect pair, Santa Claus and socialism. Just as we've freed ourselves from Obamunism (or should that have been Juche Obamunism), they're all looking for a new angle.

Bill, my boy! I give but I do not expect that anything will be given to me. I mete with a measure but do not expect that it would be measured to me with the same measure. Be nice Bill, and think about it!

The Cadillac 2016 XTS is coming your way. I give not grudgingly, nor of necessity, as I am a cheerful giver!

[Marshal Kim Jong-un]

Re: ASK SANTA! MAKE YOUR WISHES COME TRUE!

Un, my dear boy! Did you like the fondue set I gave you when you were studying in Switzerland? You were not supposed to dip your own body parts into the molten cheese. Read the instruction manual next time.

That said, you're an amateur. I mean, you try to utilize the same tools of Power that I and Jesus use but you're failing. Let me explain. You want power? OK, the tools to use are intimidation, guilt, and fear. Jesus wins big time when it comes to these, but I'm a close second. I admit that the deterrents that Jesus uses are mosly metaphysical but he also makes some great headlines with earthquakes, floods, mass shootings, disease, and an occasional asteroid strike. I can't compete with that. My only deterrent is to refrain from rewarding. Still, I do fairly well among kids. You have only hunger, intimidation of family members, mindless executions, and forced labor. OK, I concur... 1. Jesus, 2. You and me a distant third.

But that is not enough. You want power? You should also reward and while your punishments are locally effective (but inferior to those of Jesus), you fail miserably when it comes to rewarding. You have nothing to offer expect to the very tiny minority of high party officials, who only want to oust you. Jesus does better. He promises some supernatural rewards that cannot be disproven, you can't disprove it 100%.

I win here. My rewards are tangible goods. They may be cheap plastic but people LOVE cheap plastic. You can't even give your people that, nor can Jesus. 1. Santa (Ho, Ho, Ho, that's ME!), 2. Jesus, 3. you.

You expect worship. You get subdued fear. I deliver something real. My gifts do not depend on obscure readings of Juche or any other holy text. Try to beat that.

You've been naughty. No re-unification this year, but I'm sending you a two-week gift voucher for a fat camp on Baekdu Mountain.

I did not know Santa believed the imperialist propaganda in the lamestream media. There are no mindless executions or death camps here. There is no proof of such things! Please visit Koryotours and see how glorious Korea is for yourself, it is not a bad place, yes there is famine in some parts but that is because of imperialist U.S. sanctions. I do not want my people to fear me, I just want them to have a good quality of life and to care for one-another. Lovely talking to you.

[Marshal Kim Jong-un]

Re: ASK SANTA! MAKE YOUR WISHES COME TRUE!

More than likely snowflake trolls from the DNC that still can't get over Trump's landslide win. What else to you expect for the purveyors of "free" stuff - the perfect pair, Santa Claus and socialism. Just as we've freed ourselves from Obamunism (or should that have been Juche Obamunism), they're all looking for a new angle.

It is a figure of speech when I say I'm sending my prayers. But there are many Christian communists. I am not a Democrat, and I despise Liberalism. Only socialism is the way.

[Alvin Moss]

Re: ASK SANTA! MAKE YOUR WISHES COME TRUE!

But there are many Christian communists.

The American word for communist is democrat. I have never known a Democrat to have any interest in Jesus other than to smirk and scoff at Him. The very idea of a Christian communist is ridiculous.

You have been decorated by one of our wise pastors for your obvious lying. Thus, we know, as if we would ever trust a Chinaman communist anyway (much less a false Chinaman), that you are a liar. Why don't you try to change our minds by listing the name of one single communist we would recognize who follows Jesus.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: ASK SANTA! MAKE YOUR WISHES COME TRUE!

Marshall Kim--Some of us who admire your firm leadership skills have become concerned about your health.

It appears you are just a tad overweight. Please let us know if this is true and, if so, what you intend to do about it.

[Santa Claus]

Re: ASK SANTA! MAKE YOUR WISHES COME TRUE!

I did not know Santa believed the imperialist propaganda in the lamestream media. There are no mindless executions or death camps here. There is no proof of such things! Please visit Koryotours and see how glorious Korea is for yourself, it is not a bad place, yes there is famine in some parts but that is because of imperialist U.S. sanctions. I do not want my people to fear me, I just want them to have a good quality of life and to care for one-another. Lovely talking to you.

Dear Un,

Some people think that I am imaginary or that Jesus is, but at least I see the world as it is, but you live in an imaginary world. This apparently includes your body image.

Just use the fat camp gift profitably and next year you might get a nice box of Belgian chocolates!