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  • Basilissa
    South of the Border outreach program
    True Christian™
     
    • Mar 2013
    • 12937

    #1

    Exciting news!!!

    Friends, I am SO excited to share some GREAT news: I am engaged and soon to be married! (I dunno how soon, but I'm sure it will be SOON).

    The lucky fellow's name is Enrique, we met on my recent missionary trip to ungodly South America, where I have been assisting our pastors in spreading the Word of God to godless savages, again. I know, I know - Enrique is not a white sounding name, and he IS rather tan... but his wealth shows that God really loves him despite his doubtful heritage:

    Proverbs 10:22 The blessing of the Lord, it maketh rich, and he addeth no sorrow with it.

    Enrique certainly suffers no sorrows, as he has beautiful mansions all over the southern states of Mexico, including cities of Cochabamba and La Paz, as well as a very large ranch in Chapare (here is a link with photos which show how lovely this area is). He has been blessed by God in a very visible way, as he made his wealth seemingly overnight. Enrique comes from a very poor rural family, and most people in his village still are poor - must be because they are lazy bums:

    Proverbs 10:4 He becometh poor that dealeth [with] a slack hand: but the hand of the diligent maketh rich.


    Enrique is best friends with all sorts of public, military, and police authorities. He gives them very nice gifts, and since they don't reciprocate, it must be some sort of charity - and God surely does love a cheerful giver!

    2 Corinthians 9:7 Every man according as he purposeth in his heart, [so let him give]; not grudgingly, or of necessity: for God loveth a cheerful giver.

    Anyway, I am not entirely sure what it is that he does, he's kinda shy about his businesses, when I enter the room where he's with his associates, they quickly change the subject. I don't mind - his business is not my business:

    1 Thessalonians 4:11 And that ye study to be quiet, and to do your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you;


    Anyway, I'm pretty sure he's flour merchant, I sometimes see in a distance his men loading and unloading bags of unmarked product, and once one bag broke and what I saw was definitely flour.
    God created fossils to test our faith.

    * * *

    My favorite LBC sermons:
    True Christians are Perfect!
    True Christian™ Love.
    Salvation™ made Easy!
    You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
    Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
    Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
    Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
    Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
    The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
    Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
    God HATES Rational Thinking!
    True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.
  • mrgrtt123
    Unsaved trash
    • Oct 2018
    • 58

    #2
    Re: Exciting news!!!

    Congratulations on your engagement, I can feel how excited you are.

    Comment

    • Phil Ander
      True Christian™
      True Christian™
      • Jan 2016
      • 626

      #3
      Re: Exciting news!!!

      Congratulations. Once you are married, I pray Enrique and you have many Soldiers for Christ. I expect you will make a return to America for the births. Just in case one the male children plan a presidential career.


      Phil
      58 If thou wilt not observe to do all the words of this law that are written in this book, that thou mayest fear this glorious and fearful name, THE LORD THY GOD; 59 Then the LORD will make thy plagues wonderful, and the plagues of thy seed, even great plagues, and of long continuance, and sore sicknesses, and of long continuance. 60 Moreover he will bring upon thee all the diseases of Egypt, which thou wast afraid of; and they shall cleave unto thee. 61 Also every sickness, and every plague, which is not written in the book of this law, them will the LORD bringk upon thee, until thou be destroyed.


      Deuteronomy 28: 58- 61

      Comment

      • BrotherLarry
        Revelationary Equine Gnathologist for Christ
        True Christian™
        • Sep 2014
        • 2249

        #4
        Re: Exciting news!!!

        I wish I could share in your joy. But I simply can't.


        1. Enrique is a messican name. This is a strike against him.
        2. His home country has been known to spread the aids.
        3. Jesus wouldn't want you being so far away from the Godly Midwest.
        4. I always though you and I would, well, never mind about that because it's obvious that isn't so.


        I am sure you will come to your senses. Please post a photo of this person. For now I am going to my closet.


        PS: I don't think flour is a very reliable commodity. I don't know anyone who uses it on a regular basis.




        money isn't everything
        Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
        “The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

        Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
        Amen and Amen

        Comment

        • BibleReader2231
          Forum Member
          Forum Member
          • Jul 2018
          • 567

          #5
          Re: Exciting news!!!

          My Pa used to manufacture flour. I remember being 6 or 7 and I found a ziploc bag full of it. I remember the taste was a little strange and it made me sick. I asked my Pa after trying some of the flour what it was and he said it’s for baking. He also said I shouldn’t tell Ma or anyone at school but since it’s been 10 or so years since he said that, I think I can tell the church elders here. One question though. How is it that Enrique your messican boyfriend is rich from the flour he makes yet my Pa sometimes has to sell stuff in the house? I don’t know. Maybe my Pa just makes flour on the side.

          Anyway congratulations! Also my Pa read your post and would love to get in touch with Enrique in order to discuss grown-up business.
          My name is Maxine Levantine. I am 17 and follow the KJV Bible to a T. If you are wanting to hit on me you can turn away. THIS is reserved for Jesus and my future husband (whoever that may be).

          Comment

          • Cranky Old Man
            Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah
            You kids get off his lawn!
             
            • Jan 2010
            • 22356

            #6
            Re: Exciting news!!!

            Originally posted by Basilissa View Post
            Friends, I am SO excited to share some GREAT news: I am engaged and soon to be married!
            Congratulations I suppose. Now please shut up about this as there is nothing more annoying than a woman yapping on and on about having found a man whose life she can ruin. Out of curiosity, is he blind? Deaf? Both?
            5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
            To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
            James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

            Comment

            • Joanna Lytton-Vasey
              True Christian™ Lady Extraordinaire, an Honorary Male Biblicist
               
              • Jul 2014
              • 8380

              #7
              Re: Exciting news!!!

              Congratulations, Basilissa! I pray that your union will be as happy and productive as my own. May you be blessed according to Psalm 128.

              Originally posted by Basilissa View Post
              Anyway, I am not entirely sure what it is that he does, he's kinda shy about his businesses, when I enter the room where he's with his associates, they quickly change the subject. I don't mind - his business is not my business:

              1 Thessalonians 4:11 And that ye study to be quiet, and to do your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you;
              You are absolutely right to take this view, Sister. A man's work is entirely his affair and (apart from entertaining my husband's guests on formal occasions and providing a Strong and Stable home life, including dealing with all financial and administrative matters during his frequent absences) I have absolutely no idea what Matthew does. All I know is that it involves some sort of international trade.

              Do you think Enrique would mind if we called him Henry? It might help him fit in more easily.
              Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!

              Comment

              • Brother Gonzalez
                Another brick in Donald´s wall - A.K.A "The Gonz"
                True Christian™
                 
                • Sep 2016
                • 2087

                #8
                Re: Exciting news!!!

                Hi Bas, Quique contacted me about a tunnel below the wall to pass some flour. I told him to contact Donald Trump about it and he seemed pissed off. I don't want to start bad with your soon to be hubby, so please tell him to call me again.
                1 Thessalonians 4:16 For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the TRUMP of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first.

                Comment

                • Joanna Lytton-Vasey
                  True Christian™ Lady Extraordinaire, an Honorary Male Biblicist
                   
                  • Jul 2014
                  • 8380

                  #9
                  Re: Exciting news!!!

                  (Sorry to go off-topic, but Brother Gonzalez, you may have raised a serious problem for The Wall here. Never mind how high it needs to be to stop those small, monkey-like folks climbing it - how deep do the foundations have to go to stop unauthorized tunneling underneath?)
                  Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!

                  Comment

                  • Johny Joe Hold
                    Mayor of Freehold
                     
                    • Feb 2010
                    • 12482

                    #10
                    Re: Exciting news!!!

                    One of my hobbies is the origin of names. I was delighted to learn your beau is named Enrique. That name tells me his linage goes back to white Northern European stock. Enrique was originally Erik.

                    It is a time to celebrate at Landover Baptist Church.
                    Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.

                    Comment

                    • BrotherLarry
                      Revelationary Equine Gnathologist for Christ
                      True Christian™
                      • Sep 2014
                      • 2249

                      #11
                      Re: Exciting news!!!

                      I'm surprised that this event is being so applauded. Paul, I believe, speaks in the Word about marrying someone named Enrique and how it can be a thorn in one's flesh. I am certain I've seen it - I just can't find it. And our dear Bas knows NOTHING about foreign tongues. I'm just sure he doesn't speak American. Even if he does it's Messican-American, and many meanings are different. For instance, in our language, to marry someone means to plight your troth in Jesus Name and with His involvement. In Messican American it means to take on a sex slave and use them for your lustful pleasure without regard to procreation.

                      No, I just think this is a bad idea.


                      Lovingly and Deeply in Him,
                      BrotherLarry
                      Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
                      “The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

                      Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
                      Amen and Amen

                      Comment

                      • Esther B.
                        Forum Member
                        Forum Member
                        • Sep 2012
                        • 575

                        #12
                        Re: Exciting news!!!

                        Congratulations, Sister! I would be careful of that flour, though. My father got some flour from South America years ago and everything that my mother baked with it made him really sick and crazy. It must not have been the best quality. Expect a wedding present from me in the near future!
                        And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.
                        Deuteronomy 6.5

                        Comment

                        • Basilissa
                          South of the Border outreach program
                          True Christian™
                           
                          • Mar 2013
                          • 12937

                          #13
                          Re: Exciting news!!!

                          Originally posted by Phil Ander View Post
                          Congratulations. Once you are married, I pray Enrique and you have many Soldiers for Christ. I expect you will make a return to America for the births. Just in case one the male children plan a presidential career.
                          I dunno, Brother. I would not want any Future True Americans™ to be put in the difficult situation of deciding if they can vote for someone whose father is a foreigner.

                          I know this really nice, Christian lady, who once told me she really wanted to vote for Trump, but she didn't for a single reason. No, not because of the grabbing by the pussies thing, but because his wife is a foreigner. Yes, Melania is the good, white, non-threatening kind of foreigner, but this sweet nice lady just couldn't force herself to vote for someone who married a foreigner. I totally understand her moral doubt in all this, and even if my future children will grow up to be as Godly as Donald J. Trump (), it would be really difficult for good, white Christians to vote for them.

                          Originally posted by BrotherLarry View Post
                          I am sure you will come to your senses. Please post a photo of this person.
                          For whatever reason, Enrique is very shy when it comes to any sort of publicity (kinda surprising when you think about the social circles he's in), and doesn't like his pictures taken. Imagine this: not very tall, but beautifully tan (even more tan than that Italian dude who played Indians in movies and commercials), thick black hair, no beard/mustache, beautiful dark brown eyes, and the longest eyelashes I've ever seen!

                          Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel
                          the Flint Mansion bakery might be interested in acquiring some of the flour for the cookies baked according to my late mother Zipporah Flint's recipe.
                          I'm sure Enrique will send you his finest product! (I think he has the whole Wall thing covered, he has friends in important positions in the US Customs and Border Protection, who help him to navigate between laws and stuff).

                          Originally posted by BibleReader2231 View Post
                          I asked my Pa after trying some of the flour what it was and he said it’s for baking.
                          Duh, what else can you use flour for?!?

                          How is it that Enrique your messican boyfriend is rich from the flour he makes
                          As I explained, his rags to riches story is the best proof that Jesus loves him very much!

                          Originally posted by Johny Joe Hold View Post
                          One of my hobbies is the origin of names. I was delighted to learn your beau is named Enrique. That name tells me his linage goes back to white Northern European stock. Enrique was originally Erik.

                          It is a time to celebrate at Landover Baptist Church.
                          I like that explanation very much, Mr. Mayor! There are some 1000 year old ruins in the part of Mexico he's from, and these are way too beautiful to have been made by some Indians - a Viking exploration would explain them perfectly!

                          Originally posted by BrotherLarry View Post
                          And our dear Bas knows NOTHING about foreign tongues.
                          Brother Larry, may I remind you that I've been a member of Landover missions to ungodly South America practically since I've been a child, and I've mastered most local dialects except for Guarani (which doesn't matter because it's spoken in the jungle, and no respectable Christian would punish himself by going to that hot, humid, and full of bugs area - seriously, it's worse than Florida!).

                          Originally posted by Esther B. View Post
                          Expect a wedding present from me in the near future!
                          Thank you, dear, that is very thoughtful of you.
                          God created fossils to test our faith.

                          * * *

                          My favorite LBC sermons:
                          True Christians are Perfect!
                          True Christian™ Love.
                          Salvation™ made Easy!
                          You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
                          Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
                          Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
                          Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
                          Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
                          The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
                          Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
                          God HATES Rational Thinking!
                          True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.

                          Comment

                          • Dana723
                            Forum member
                            Forum Member
                            • Oct 2017
                            • 771

                            #14
                            Re: Exciting news!!!

                            That's wonderful news, Sister! There's nothing wrong with a Messican as long as he's a rich Messican!


                            Brother Larry, how could you be against such a beautiful union? If God wants it to be, He will allow it!
                            Judge in yourselves: is it comely that a woman pray unto God uncovered?
                            1 Corinthians 11:13

                            Comment

                            • Basilissa
                              South of the Border outreach program
                              True Christian™
                               
                              • Mar 2013
                              • 12937

                              #15
                              Re: Exciting news!!!

                              Originally posted by Dana723 View Post
                              That's wonderful news, Sister! There's nothing wrong with a Messican as long as he's a rich Messican!
                              I know, right?! Unfortunately, some people seem to disobey God by feeling envy (their bones will rot, Proverbs 14:30) towards my happiness! I will pray for them.
                              God created fossils to test our faith.

                              * * *

                              My favorite LBC sermons:
                              True Christians are Perfect!
                              True Christian™ Love.
                              Salvation™ made Easy!
                              You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
                              Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
                              Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
                              Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
                              Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
                              The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
                              Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
                              God HATES Rational Thinking!
                              True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.

                              Comment

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