[Ofc. Don W. Richards]

Re: Officer Richards Bachelor Party

This is going to be fun I'm looking forward to it.

Where are we going to have my bachelor party? I haven't found a house yet, still looking.

About the unsaved women, it's a great idea to help keep our minds focused on missionary work. But because they're unsaved and foreign, we can't take any chances. I am going to bring a few extra pairs of handcuffs in case things get out of hand.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Officer Richards Bachelor Party

Looks like I'll be trucking in the adult 'Slip N Slide'......

[Buford T Scoggins]

Re: Officer Richards Bachelor Party

And I need to let the Reverend know that all the girls that need saving need to be European. I did here from Pastor Zeke that no trips to Mexico or Brazil to pick up unsaved women will be approved.

I understand the need for this rule, brother. Among other reasons, Homeland Security is ever vigilant on flights from Latin America because of the drug & illegal alien smuggling problems. We wouldn't want them to get the wrong idea and board one of your flights, and discover that all these undocumented women are being flown directly to Freehold (even though it's for a Godly purpose).

However, my friend Rush Limbaugh makes frequent soul-saving trips by Learjet to the Dominican Republic, bringing with him badly needed consumer items and medicines such as black nylon stockings, pink panties and viagra. We might be able to get Rush to stop off in Freehold on his way back to Florida and drop off one of the young ladies who is desperate need of some loving counseling from elder white Christian males. I realize that there could be some risk with all these Latinas being infected with social diseases, but Rush is apparently an expert in these matters, plus in the interest of saving souls, no sacrifice should be considered too great.

Yours in Christ,
Brother Buford

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Officer Richards Bachelor Party

This is going to be fun I'm looking forward to it.

Where are we going to have my bachelor party? I haven't found a house yet, still looking.

Brother Officer Don, let me hook you up with Marla Jennings, Freehold's most successful True Christian(tm) Real Estate agent. She can set you right up.

[MidwestCatLady]

Re: Officer Richards Bachelor Party

Now, now Father Mo. Let's not get bitter! I didn't forget about you, how could I? I realize these women truly need to be saved by the genuine and written Word of God, the English King James Bible from 1611. If I didn't give a hoot about their spiritual welfare, I would've tossed them to your Mary-worshipping self. Now, I understand we have our religious differences, my Papist friend, so in the spirit of compromise, I have decided to fly in some....other individuals, specifically and personally just for you, Father Mo.

How very thoughtful and kind of you Rev. Jim. You are a True Christian to consider Father Mo's feeling so he does not get upset by being left out of the celebration!

[Professor Tyeisha X]

Re: Officer Richards Bachelor Party

If you ask me, this Bachelor Party is a sick idea! Not only are you treating these innocent women as sex objects, you are planning on polluting their minds with your patriarchal hegemonic Christianity! These young virgin minds do not need YOU sexist pigs tampering with them! They deserve a chance.

I have fought for undocumented immigrants rights for four decades now. My diligant efforts in the political arena have helped grant them taxpayer-funded medical care, welfare, legal assistance, and job placement. Racist nitwits like to say "Oh but they're stealing our jobs", but they weren't your jobs to begin with, were they? How many white people you see picking oranges in the fields or working the late shift at Wal-Mart? What racist white people fail to realize is that since these poor immigrants are in a new country with all the odds stacked against them, of course they should get preferential treatment.

My labor organization has been working hard to extend affirmative action to undocumented immigrants, so that government jobs will maintain a quota of hiring non-English speaking immigrants. We've also trudged forth with a plan to solve the unemployment problem of certain immigrants by forcefully terminating natural-born White citizens from their jobs and granting them to the more-deserving immigrants.

I STAND WITH MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS OF LA RAZA! TAKE THIS COUNTRY BACK FROM THE WHITE MAN!!!

[Miss April]

Re: Officer Richards Bachelor Party

If you ask me, this Bachelor Party is a sick idea! Not only are you treating these innocent women as sex objects, you are planning on polluting their minds with your patriarchal hegemonic Christianity! These young virgin minds do not need YOU sexist pigs tampering with them! They deserve a chance.

I have fought for undocumented immigrants rights for four decades now. My diligant efforts in the political arena have helped grant them taxpayer-funded medical care, welfare, legal assistance, and job placement. Racist nitwits like to say "Oh but they're stealing our jobs", but they weren't your jobs to begin with, were they? How many white people you see picking oranges in the fields or working the late shift at Wal-Mart? What racist white people fail to realize is that since these poor immigrants are in a new country with all the odds stacked against them, of course they should get preferential treatment.

My labor organization has been working hard to extend affirmative action to undocumented immigrants, so that government jobs will maintain a quota of hiring non-English speaking immigrants. We've also trudged forth with a plan to solve the unemployment problem of certain immigrants by forcefully terminating natural-born White citizens from their jobs and granting them to the more-deserving immigrants.

I STAND WITH MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS OF LA RAZA! TAKE THIS COUNTRY BACK FROM THE WHITE MAN!!!

Well The thing Is No one Asked you So go stand with your Evil gay brothers and sisters somewhere else This Bachelor Party is not a sick idea at all its a great one Those Women Need Saving they deserve a Change not to turn out like you Our great Godly men are not treating them as objects but Trying To save them and Help them turn from there bad ways to the amazing Jesus so Shut up you useless piece of Trash

[SUV]

Re: Officer Richards Bachelor Party

undocumented immigrants

Oh, you mean messicants, as in, "Oh I can't - I simply CAN'T! - learn English!" - ?



There. There's your 'non-racist smiley' (or whatever) you've been looking for. Take it and leave and stop ruining this thread about the beautiful Christian love between a Man and a woman

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: Officer Richards Bachelor Party

If you ask me, . . . SNIPPAGE OF THE SAME CRAP SHE ALWAYS POSTS

WE DIDN'T!!!

[Buford T Scoggins]

Re: Officer Richards Bachelor Party

> I have fought for undocumented immigrants rights for four decades now.

I don't know what makes you think these girls are going to be undocumented. I believe we'll be able to arrange for a sufficient number of summer school student visas at the Landover Bible College. We've also got plans for the most deserving students to continue their studies longer than the one-night stan...erh, for at least a few extra months, unless they fail a pregnancy test (in which case they'll be deported immediately - we don't want to encourage anchor babies, especially nowadays in the era of reliable DNA testing).

Praise Jesus!
Buford

[Nobar King]

Re: Officer Richards Bachelor Party

I haven't been to a good bachelor party in a while. When is it, again?

[JennyD]

Re: Officer Richards Bachelor Party

Let's convert these Jewish army gals to Christ!

That one in the middle looks remarkably like Shannen Doherty, if someone beat her a few too many times with a KJV.

Gentlemen, have you given any thought to where these young ladies should stay? As some of you know, the Bunkhouse about to be renovated, and sleeps 16.

If the ladies don't mind group showers and bunk beds, I can manage to postpone the construction work for a couple of days to accommodate them.

Consider it my wedding present for Officer Richardson.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Officer Richards Bachelor Party

Well, congratulations, Officer Richards!

I've only been down to Freehold on a couple of short, church-related visits . . . I've met Sister Victory on one of those occasions, and may I say you are one lucky man! Rarely have I met a woman with such an incredible appetite
for life and the love of Jesus! Why, she's almost filled to bursting with the Spirit, brother!

I won't be attending your party, but will be happy to send you two a gift. It really warms my heart, Officer. Congratulations on being the man to finally satisfy this Godly sister's desperate craving hunger longing for a man of her own.

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: Officer Richards Bachelor Party

Well, gentlemen, Rev. Jake and I, along with a couple of our televangelist pals and some unsaved ladies from the local Hustler club are leaving today (Saturday) from Southern California in Rev. Jake's converted bus RV and we should be in Freehold by July 1! We thought about flying in my personal jet, but decided a cross-country trip sounds more fun! Check out this awesome RV the Rev. Jake has...



And here's the unsaved ladies from the Hustler Club that will be joining us on the trip. The one on the left is Trish, the one on the right is Britney. Both of them are bisexual and love to disobey the Bible by engaging in morally depraved acts with each other. I made it abundantly clear to these girls that if they try to do anything naughty with each other on the bus, then they will receive punishment from my cat o' nine tails and a stern lecture from me.




Now, the rest of the unsaved girls from the foreign countries will be arriving in Des Moines on July 1. Rev Jake and I will swing the RV by the airport and pick them up! We are going to have our hands busy fingering through the Bible and our mouths will be working non-stop as we witness to their unsaved souls!

I will be taking my laptop with me so I can keep in touch with the good people at Landover. This is going to be the Bachelor Party to end all Bachelor Parties, fellas! I guarantee you that! Wholesome Christian brotherhood and fellowship, and we're even going to save a few lost souls out of the deal. I can't wait, and I'll see you all in Freehold in a couple days!

-Rev. Jim

[Vavoline Johnson]

Re: Engagement announcement: Ofc. Richards and VickyOS

These three come as a package! Meet our lovely Israeli trio, Miriam, Sarah, and Ruth. They are all new recruits in the Israeli army (pictured here in their uniforms) so don't let their feminine exteriors fool you -- they are trained by the Mossad to kill you with just two fingers! They are stationed in Tel Aviv but all have paid leave coming up. Let's convert these Jewish army gals to Christ!

Oh come on now Rev Mr Jim, ebrybody know Joos don't fight nobody and da Mexican gal, hell, dont we got enough of dem here already?
Git yourself a nice Polock lady to save. They is good wif playing the kilbasa.