Off on our Honeymoon

[Ofc. Don W. Richards]

First I just want to thank everybody for all their support for me and my new wife. The wedding went over okay, thanks for that too.

We're going to Tulsa, Oklahoma for our honeymoon. I've got a cousin down there I haven't seen for a while.

We'll try to log in as much as we can over the next week.

[Oakland "Reb" Griner]

Re: Off on our Honeymoon

We'll try to log in as much as we can over the next week.

Um, yeah.

Too much information there, perhaps . . . .

[VictoryOS]

Re: Off on our Honeymoon

Hello everyone! I'm typing to you from the living room of Mr. Richard's cousin's house. The computer I'm using is called a lap topper because it fits on your lap. I didn't even know they made computers this small!

Married life is wonderful so far! Thank you everyone for all the beautiful gifts. Brother Wide-Open, I hope you have recovered from that strange coughing fit you had during the ceremony. I couldn't stop worrying about your condition after they escorted you from the room. Poor dear.

Also, I'd like to apologize to everyone for the you-know-what that happened during the ceremony. Sometimes that kind of thing just...well, slips. I hope no one past the second row was troubled by it.

Overall, things are going well. I should get back to the porch in case Mr. Richards needs anything. He's telling stories about his job as an Officer Of The Law, and he really doesn't like it when I miss them. We'll be keeping up with all of our friends here whenever we get the chance.

[Nurse Clampett]

Re: Off on our Honeymoon

God bless your marital bliss!

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: Off on our Honeymoon

Also, I'd like to apologize to everyone for the you-know-what that happened during the ceremony. Sometimes that kind of thing just...well, slips. I hope no one past the second row was troubled by it.

Sister Vic, I can attest for all of us in the Fourth row that our noses picked up on it, but we weren't "troubled" by it. Although, I can't speak for the unfortunate individuals in the First row...

But, that was such a lovely Wedding and wasn't that a great reception? The highlight of the night is when everyone got up and started to do the "chicken dance" to that fun-loving polka music! I love doing that song at weddings! And who could forget the mirth that we all shared as we danced in the conga line to Buster Poindexter's "Hot Hot Hot"!

The only thing that went wrong with the reception is when the doggy treats "Bully sticks" (bull penises) somehow got mixed up with the barbecue. I was wondering why people were complaining about the BBQ. "But this is the best stuff outta St. Louis". Oh well, mistakes happen.

I had a great time, but I had a pounding headache and my stomach was nauseous from the previous night's Bachelor Party. But, saving all those young women takes its toll on the body. Staying up late, quoting Scripture, praying hard...for a man of my age, I just don't have that stamina anymore.

[Brother Lazarus]

Re: Off on our Honeymoon

Wedded bliss is a wonderful thing! Has the marriage been consummated? Will Soldiers for Christ be coming next April? VOS, are you dutifully obeying your husband? Have you required any discipline yet? I hear Tulsa is wonderful this time of year, I hope you're having a splendid honeymoon!

Oh, and that little incident went almost entirely unnoticed.
Yours in Christ
Brother Lazarus

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Off on our Honeymoon

I will admit to being a bit perplexed when I asked sister VictoryOS to say "I do," at the end of the ceremony, and she said "I already did." Not sure what she meant by that.

[Buford T Scoggins]

Re: Off on our Honeymoon

We're going to Tulsa, Oklahoma for our honeymoon. I've got a cousin down there I haven't seen for a while.

Tulsa, Oklahoma - what a great place for a honeymoon. It's certainly one of the first places that would come to my mind. I think they have a Creationist Science Museum, don't they?

A fun thing to do is driving up and down main street with your horn blowing full blast, with "Honk if you love Jesus!" bumper stickers plastered all over your car.

Out on the prairie country around town, a fun thing to do in the evening is cow tipping. Let's not confuse this with certain other acts with animals that I most definitely don't approve of.



Oklahoma is also famous for its right-wing militia training camps. These can be very enjoyable to visit - the rifle ranges where you get to shoot at effigies of well-known liberals and prominent Hollywood faggots are great fun. In the evening, there are barbecues - it's hysterical roasting marshmallows made to look like people, with words like "global warming activist" or "I believe in evolution" written on them.

However, if you want to visit any of the militia camps, you'd better phone first - if they mistake you two for Democrats, almost anything could happen.

Yes, Oklahoma - next to Texas, it's my favorite state. Enjoy!

Yours in Christ,
Brother Buford

[Professor Tyeisha X]

Re: Off on our Honeymoon

Believe it or not, I had a great time! Of course we didn't join in the festivities like the wedding, or bachelor party, or shower, but we had a damn good protest here in Freehold, Iowa! Over 200 people showed up and we made it clear that we disapproved of Vic and Don's heterosexual marriage, and that gay marriage was the only type of marriage that should be approved by the government. Even if no one paid attention to us, I would say it was a very successful protest. Some pics below of our protest...





We had a great July 4. We had a "barbecue" -- with tofu hot dogs of course -- no animal meat. Our feast was in strict accordance with keeping animals safe and no harm to the environment. We had a naturally grown tofu, asparagus, broccoli, spinach, brussel sprouts, and cauliflower "barbecue".

The highlight of the night is when we burned American flags and each of us recited what we were unthankful for about America. We then made effigies of George W. Bush and Jesus then burned them both.

Unfortunately, some of the Freehold police accosted us and attacked us without warning. Many were tear-gassed and pepper-sprayed, and we were forced to disperse. This protest was perfectly legal, and Freehold's attorneys will hear from the ACLU very, very soon... <---racist smiley, should be brown-skinned

[James Hutchins]

Re: Off on our Honeymoon

I want to apologize to everyone at the wedding. Shortly after I arrived with load of wedding goodies, I received a phone call from an inside source (thanks Uncle Cletus) informing me the ATF was planning a surprise visit the Hutchins home. Well, I would never want a guest to stop by and me not be there (as head of the house, I have responsibilities) so I dead headed back home with my wife's sister.
Arriving home, I found the compound to be a buzz with activity. Fences being mended, the older children reloading the brass the little ones had polished. Nothing like seeing God's soldiers hard at work when a man gets home. ore here:

http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?p=354848

[Ofc. Don W. Richards]

Re: Off on our Honeymoon

Me and my cousin are going to go to the shooting range this afternoon. Unfortunately his El Camino has too much garbage piled in it to fit three people, so Vicky will have to stay. But my cousin's trailer needs cleaning anyway, and she can use it as practice for when we get back to Freehold.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Off on our Honeymoon

Well Don, you do not want to spend all your time with her. It is good for you to get away once in a while. Nothing worse than a clingy woman.

BTW, thanks for the 'heads up' about the ATF. I owe you one.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Off on our Honeymoon

Also, I'd like to apologize to everyone for the you-know-what that happened during the ceremony. Sometimes that kind of thing just...well, slips. I hope no one past the second row was troubled by it.

Sister Victory, I saw the video of the ceremony (thanks, Pastor Ezekiel!). I know a good attorney who has won several lawsuits against the manufacturers of faulty girdles. Shall I PM you his number? You should at least be reimbursed for the cost of your lovely wedding gown!

Imagine my surprise seeing how the fabric matched the very expensive tablecloths we use at church socials! Maybe they cost so much because our deacon, Brian Lucas, went to the same high-end fabric supplier your seamstress used. Considering our tablecloths cost close to $500 each, I expect your detailed dress cost in the tens of thousands!

Here's one of our tablecloths. Lovely, isn't it?

[Serenity-Millennium]

Re: Off on our Honeymoon

What a lovely couple you two make. I wish you all the happiness in the world, you crazy kids!

[eliot mayfield]

Re: Off on our Honeymoon

I wanted to make it there, but a certain pilot never showed up leaving me and Honza svejk to have a bar be que and drink three barrels of Czech Ginger Ale.