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  • Ofc. Don W. Richards
    True Christian™ Officer of THE Law
    True Christian™
    • Jun 2009
    • 491

    #1

    Off on our Honeymoon

    First I just want to thank everybody for all their support for me and my new wife. The wedding went over okay, thanks for that too.

    We're going to Tulsa, Oklahoma for our honeymoon. I've got a cousin down there I haven't seen for a while.

    We'll try to log in as much as we can over the next week.

    Latest Headlines From Sheriff's Office:

    Sheriff Richards Rescues Wayward Wife from the Influence of Evil Neighbor Kids


    Sheriff Richards Busts Up Satanic Cult Operating out of local Haunted House


    Sheriff Richards a Hero for saving Dying Man


    Sheriff Richards Schools the Amish in Scripture


    7 Year-Old Coveter Learns the Hard Way


    Sheriff Richards cleans up 4-way stop


    Sheriff Richards busts Arch Nemesis, Shane!


    FPD to Enforce the No-Lifeguard-But-Jesus Ordinance


    Sheriff Don W. Richards Cleans Up County Roads
  • Oakland "Reb" Griner
    True Christian™
    True Christian™
    • Jun 2009
    • 2241

    #2
    Re: Off on our Honeymoon

    Originally posted by Ofc. Don W. Richards View Post


    We'll try to log in as much as we can over the next week.


    Um, yeah.

    Too much information there, perhaps . . . .


    Jud 1:15 To execute judgment upon all, and to convince all that are unGodly among them of all their unGodly deeds which they have unGodly committed, and of all their hard [speeches] which unGodly sinners have spoken against him.

    Comment

    • VictoryOS
      True Christian™ Beauty Queen
       
      • Dec 2007
      • 5388

      #3
      Re: Off on our Honeymoon

      Hello everyone! I'm typing to you from the living room of Mr. Richard's cousin's house. The computer I'm using is called a lap topper because it fits on your lap. I didn't even know they made computers this small!

      Married life is wonderful so far! Thank you everyone for all the beautiful gifts. Brother Wide-Open, I hope you have recovered from that strange coughing fit you had during the ceremony. I couldn't stop worrying about your condition after they escorted you from the room. Poor dear.

      Also, I'd like to apologize to everyone for the you-know-what that happened during the ceremony. Sometimes that kind of thing just...well, slips. I hope no one past the second row was troubled by it.

      Overall, things are going well. I should get back to the porch in case Mr. Richards needs anything. He's telling stories about his job as an Officer Of The Law, and he really doesn't like it when I miss them. We'll be keeping up with all of our friends here whenever we get the chance.
      Let Jesus Christ Wash You Clean
      in 2016

      Comment

      • Nurse Clampett
        Jesus's Favorite Nurse
        Forum Member
        • Jan 2009
        • 974

        #4
        Re: Off on our Honeymoon

        God bless your marital bliss!
        Luke 5:31
        And Jesus answering said unto them, They that are whole need not a physician; but they that are sick

        Comment

        • Rev. Jim Osborne
          True Christian™ Televangelist
          Director of Fundraising and Tithing
          On the Look Out for Wife #6!
          True Christian™
          • Jun 2009
          • 8622

          #5
          Re: Off on our Honeymoon

          Originally posted by VictoryOS View Post
          Also, I'd like to apologize to everyone for the you-know-what that happened during the ceremony. Sometimes that kind of thing just...well, slips. I hope no one past the second row was troubled by it.
          Sister Vic, I can attest for all of us in the Fourth row that our noses picked up on it, but we weren't "troubled" by it. Although, I can't speak for the unfortunate individuals in the First row...

          But, that was such a lovely Wedding and wasn't that a great reception? The highlight of the night is when everyone got up and started to do the "chicken dance" to that fun-loving polka music! I love doing that song at weddings! And who could forget the mirth that we all shared as we danced in the conga line to Buster Poindexter's "Hot Hot Hot"!

          The only thing that went wrong with the reception is when the doggy treats "Bully sticks" (bull penises) somehow got mixed up with the barbecue. I was wondering why people were complaining about the BBQ. "But this is the best stuff outta St. Louis". Oh well, mistakes happen.

          I had a great time, but I had a pounding headache and my stomach was nauseous from the previous night's Bachelor Party. But, saving all those young women takes its toll on the body. Staying up late, quoting Scripture, praying hard...for a man of my age, I just don't have that stamina anymore.

          Watch the #1 Televangelist Gospel Hour in the World! "Turn or Burn: Accept Christ or Go to Hell with Rev. Jim Osborne." Check your local cable listings.

          Comment

          • Brother Lazarus
            Forum Member
            Forum Member
            • Jul 2008
            • 1062

            #6
            Re: Off on our Honeymoon

            Wedded bliss is a wonderful thing! Has the marriage been consummated? Will Soldiers for Christ be coming next April? VOS, are you dutifully obeying your husband? Have you required any discipline yet? I hear Tulsa is wonderful this time of year, I hope you're having a splendid honeymoon!

            Oh, and that little incident went almost entirely unnoticed.
            Yours in Christ
            Brother Lazarus
            In the Beginning God created the Heaven and the Earth. Genesis 1.1. This scripture is the first verse of the Bible for a reason. It lays the foundation for the absolute truth found in God's Holy WORD, the Bible.

            Comment

            • Pastor Ezekiel
              Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
               
              • Sep 2006
              • 78555

              #7
              Re: Off on our Honeymoon

              I will admit to being a bit perplexed when I asked sister VictoryOS to say "I do," at the end of the ceremony, and she said "I already did." Not sure what she meant by that.
              Who Will Jesus Damn?

              Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

              Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

              Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

              Comment

              • Buford T Scoggins
                Founder, Operation Rescue, Now in Heaven with Jesus
                True Christian™
                • Aug 2007
                • 911

                #8
                Re: Off on our Honeymoon

                Originally posted by Ofc. Don W. Richards View Post
                We're going to Tulsa, Oklahoma for our honeymoon. I've got a cousin down there I haven't seen for a while.
                Tulsa, Oklahoma - what a great place for a honeymoon. It's certainly one of the first places that would come to my mind. I think they have a Creationist Science Museum, don't they?

                A fun thing to do is driving up and down main street with your horn blowing full blast, with "Honk if you love Jesus!" bumper stickers plastered all over your car.

                Out on the prairie country around town, a fun thing to do in the evening is cow tipping. Let's not confuse this with certain other acts with animals that I most definitely don't approve of.



                Oklahoma is also famous for its right-wing militia training camps. These can be very enjoyable to visit - the rifle ranges where you get to shoot at effigies of well-known liberals and prominent Hollywood faggots are great fun. In the evening, there are barbecues - it's hysterical roasting marshmallows made to look like people, with words like "global warming activist" or "I believe in evolution" written on them.

                However, if you want to visit any of the militia camps, you'd better phone first - if they mistake you two for Democrats, almost anything could happen.

                Yes, Oklahoma - next to Texas, it's my favorite state. Enjoy!

                Yours in Christ,
                Brother Buford
                yours in Christ,
                Brother Buford

                sigpic

                The only way to reduce the number of nuclear weapons is to use them.
                - Rush Limbaugh

                Comment

                • Professor Tyeisha X
                  WARNING! Racist communist feminazi bulldyke
                  Unsaved trash
                  • Jun 2009
                  • 293

                  #9
                  Re: Off on our Honeymoon

                  Believe it or not, I had a great time! Of course we didn't join in the festivities like the wedding, or bachelor party, or shower, but we had a damn good protest here in Freehold, Iowa! Over 200 people showed up and we made it clear that we disapproved of Vic and Don's heterosexual marriage, and that gay marriage was the only type of marriage that should be approved by the government. Even if no one paid attention to us, I would say it was a very successful protest. Some pics below of our protest...





                  We had a great July 4. We had a "barbecue" -- with tofu hot dogs of course -- no animal meat. Our feast was in strict accordance with keeping animals safe and no harm to the environment. We had a naturally grown tofu, asparagus, broccoli, spinach, brussel sprouts, and cauliflower "barbecue".

                  The highlight of the night is when we burned American flags and each of us recited what we were unthankful for about America. We then made effigies of George W. Bush and Jesus then burned them both.

                  Unfortunately, some of the Freehold police accosted us and attacked us without warning. Many were tear-gassed and pepper-sprayed, and we were forced to disperse. This protest was perfectly legal, and Freehold's attorneys will hear from the ACLU very, very soon... <---racist smiley, should be brown-skinned
                  sigpic

                  Professor Emerita of African-American Studies at UC Berkeley

                  Comment

                  • James Hutchins
                    True Christian™
                    Just a Regular Nice Guy
                     
                    • Jun 2009
                    • 29453

                    #10
                    Re: Off on our Honeymoon

                    I want to apologize to everyone at the wedding. Shortly after I arrived with load of wedding goodies, I received a phone call from an inside source (thanks Uncle Cletus) informing me the ATF was planning a surprise visit the Hutchins home. Well, I would never want a guest to stop by and me not be there (as head of the house, I have responsibilities) so I dead headed back home with my wife's sister.
                    Arriving home, I found the compound to be a buzz with activity. Fences being mended, the older children reloading the brass the little ones had polished. Nothing like seeing God's soldiers hard at work when a man gets home. ore here:
                    Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                    Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                    Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                    Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                    Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                    Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

                    Comment

                    • Ofc. Don W. Richards
                      True Christian™ Officer of THE Law
                      True Christian™
                      • Jun 2009
                      • 491

                      #11
                      Re: Off on our Honeymoon

                      Me and my cousin are going to go to the shooting range this afternoon. Unfortunately his El Camino has too much garbage piled in it to fit three people, so Vicky will have to stay. But my cousin's trailer needs cleaning anyway, and she can use it as practice for when we get back to Freehold.


                      Latest Headlines From Sheriff's Office:

                      Sheriff Richards Rescues Wayward Wife from the Influence of Evil Neighbor Kids


                      Sheriff Richards Busts Up Satanic Cult Operating out of local Haunted House


                      Sheriff Richards a Hero for saving Dying Man


                      Sheriff Richards Schools the Amish in Scripture


                      7 Year-Old Coveter Learns the Hard Way


                      Sheriff Richards cleans up 4-way stop


                      Sheriff Richards busts Arch Nemesis, Shane!


                      FPD to Enforce the No-Lifeguard-But-Jesus Ordinance


                      Sheriff Don W. Richards Cleans Up County Roads

                      Comment

                      • James Hutchins
                        True Christian™
                        Just a Regular Nice Guy
                         
                        • Jun 2009
                        • 29453

                        #12
                        Re: Off on our Honeymoon

                        Well Don, you do not want to spend all your time with her. It is good for you to get away once in a while. Nothing worse than a clingy woman.

                        BTW, thanks for the 'heads up' about the ATF. I owe you one.
                        Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                        Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                        Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                        Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                        Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                        Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

                        Comment

                        • Rev. M. Rodimer
                          Honorary True Christian™
                          Forum Member
                          • May 2008
                          • 13996

                          #13
                          Re: Off on our Honeymoon

                          Originally posted by VictoryOS View Post
                          Also, I'd like to apologize to everyone for the you-know-what that happened during the ceremony. Sometimes that kind of thing just...well, slips. I hope no one past the second row was troubled by it.
                          Sister Victory, I saw the video of the ceremony (thanks, Pastor Ezekiel!). I know a good attorney who has won several lawsuits against the manufacturers of faulty girdles. Shall I PM you his number? You should at least be reimbursed for the cost of your lovely wedding gown!

                          Imagine my surprise seeing how the fabric matched the very expensive tablecloths we use at church socials! Maybe they cost so much because our deacon, Brian Lucas, went to the same high-end fabric supplier your seamstress used. Considering our tablecloths cost close to $500 each, I expect your detailed dress cost in the tens of thousands!

                          Here's one of our tablecloths. Lovely, isn't it?


                          Bible boring? Nonsense!
                          Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
                          You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

                          Comment

                          • Serenity-Millennium
                            Lying fluffy-bunny false Christian,
                            Unsaved trash
                            • Jun 2009
                            • 472

                            #14
                            Re: Off on our Honeymoon

                            What a lovely couple you two make. I wish you all the happiness in the world, you crazy kids!

                            Comment

                            • eliot mayfield
                              God Squad
                              True Christian™
                              • Sep 2006
                              • 9324

                              #15
                              Re: Off on our Honeymoon

                              I wanted to make it there, but a certain pilot never showed up leaving me and Honza svejk to have a bar be que and drink three barrels of Czech Ginger Ale.
                              Matthew:
                              5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
                              5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
                              10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
                              10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


                              sigpic

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