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Happy 2nd Anniversary Officer Don and Vickie!!!
Boy, it seems just like yesterday doesn't it?
It all started in early 2009 when Officer Don W. Richards transferred from back east to the Freehold Police Dept. The department was in a bit of a mess, and we have this Godly Man of Law and Order come in and fix it up.
Officer Don was on patrol, looking for loitering teenagers and jaywalkers to taze, when he suddenly noticed smoke coming from a small pink house on Deuteronomy Drive. He ran to the door, shouted "Police!" and battered down the door with his ample frame.
Inside, the stove was on fire and he heard cries of "HELP! HELP!" coming from down the hall. He immediately poured water on the stove to put out the burning mess and ran down the hall to the sound of the voice. He opened up the bathroom door.
At that moment, Officer Don was arrested. Well, his heart was under arrest with no Miranda rights.
Nestled securely on the commode was the most loveliest woman in Freehold, Sister Vickie. She was rather ashamed to be seen by a man in such a vulnerable and embarrassing state, but Officer Don is a Man of the Law and his duty comes first before manners. Using some WD-40 and a small pan, he freed the imprisoned Sister Vickie from her toilet prison.
Apparently what happened was that Sister Vickie was cooking some smothered buttered pork ribs in the oven when her bowels began to distress and she had to rush to the bathroom. Unfortunately, her carriage and the toilet seat had a disagreement and she was unable to get up, finding herself wedged. Meanwhile, the pork began to burn and it started a fire.
From the beginning they knew they were soulmates.
"I was just making buttered pork ribs..." said Sister Vickie.
"That's my most favorite food." said Officer Don.
"I eat them breakfast, lunch, and dinner." replied Vickie.
"I'll eat them in the middle of a night as a snack." said Officer Don with a coy smile.
Sharing a love of foods with high saturated fat and a love of Jesus, the two were inseperable. The whirlwind romance led to immediate plans for marriage. This was the event for Freehold in the summer of 2009. Everybody who was everybody was there. The Ladies of Landover hosted Sister Vickie's bridal shower, while the pastors and the Godly men of Freehold threw Officer Don a bachelor party.
And by the Lord in Heaven, that was one amazing bachelor party. I still remember it to this day. Well, the parts I remember, they were superb. The rest is a bit hazy, but I'm quite sure I was enjoying myself. Look, I've been to dozens of bachelor parties before, but this one took the cake. We all made a solemn agreement to never talk about what happened (and cameras were not allowed) so I will not discuss this further except drop a little inside joke...
Hey Pastor William Nathaniel Sampson....I heard that donkey likes your carrot.
Anyways, congrats Sister Vickie and Officer Don. You two are a match made in Heaven by Jesus Himself.
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