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  • Ezekiel Bathfire
    Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
    Christ's Rottweiler
     
    • Jan 2008
    • 22875

    #1

    Monkey Preaches Christianity to Swedes

    Who can deny that God is omnipresent? Far from having left us, His Creation, to languish, He is amongst us and still sends daily signs of His August Presence. You are seeking a sign from God? Seek no further.

    Why is the following report a sign? Well, I’m surprised you ask. Sweden is well-known as a country that God hates filled with atheists, sodomites and/or whores (here and here). Yet He has seen fit to send a miraculous creature to stone the sinners in the manner prescribed in The Bible.

    Yes, indeed, atheists, sodomites and whores are to be stoned and this is exactly what this monkey has been doing.

    If a monkey can understand the Word of God why can’t the Swedes?!

    Zoo chimp 'planned' stone attacks
    A male chimpanzee in a Swedish zoo planned hundreds of stone-throwing attacks on zoo visitors, according to researchers.

    Keepers at Furuvik Zoo found that the chimp collected and stored stones that he would later use as missiles. Further, the chimp learned to recognise how and when parts of his concrete enclosure could be pulled apart to fashion further projectiles. The findings are reported in the journal Current Biology.

    There has been scant evidence in previous research that animals can plan for future events. Crucial to the current study is the fact that Santino, a chimpanzee at the zoo in the city north of Stockholm, collected the stones in a calm state, prior to the zoo opening in the morning. The launching of the stones occurred hours later - during dominance displays to zoo visitors - with Santino in an "agitated" state.

    This suggests that Santino was anticipating a future mental state - an ability that has been difficult to definitively prove in animals, according to Mathias Osvath, a cognitive scientist from Lund University in Sweden and author of the new research.

    "We've done experimental studies, and the chimps in my mind show very clearly that they do plan for future needs, but it has been argued that perhaps this was an experimental artifact," Dr Osvath told BBC News. "Now we have this spontaneous behaviour, which is always in some sense better evidence."

    Dr Osvath embarked on the study after zoo staff discovered caches of stones in the section of the enclosure facing the public viewing area. Since the initial discovery in 1997, hundreds of the caches have been removed to protect visitors, to whom the caching and the aggressive displays seem strictly related; in the off season, Santino neither hoards the projectiles nor hurls them.

    Most interestingly, Santino seems to have learned how to spot weak parts of the concrete "boulders" in the centre of the enclosure. When water seeps into cracks in the concrete and freezes, portions become detached that make a hollow sound when tapped. Santino was observed gently knocking on the "boulders", hitting harder to detach bits that were loosened and adding those to his stashes of ammunition.

    There are a number of examples of complex behaviour in apes that suggest forms of consciousness.

    Planning behaviour like that of the current work is connected to so-called autonoetic consciousness, where information due to memory can be distinguished from that from the senses.
    "I'm personally convinced that at least chimps do plan for future needs, that they do have this autonoetic consciousness," Dr Osvath said. "I hope that other zoos or those in the wild will look more closely at what is happening," he added.

    "I bet there must be a lot of these kinds of behaviours out there, and I wouldn't be surprised if we find them in dolphins or other species."
    Click image for larger version

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    NB This article also contains a lot of what is wrong about science – notice how it avoids the Godly point and suggests some sort of planning by the monkey. Mathias Osvath, a cognitive scientist from Lund University in Sweden, is the idiot in question, note how he adds at the end,
    "I bet there must be a lot of these kinds of behaviours out there, and I wouldn't be surprised if we find them in dolphins or other species."
    Well, so-called professor Mathias Osvath, let me tell you that the day you find Dolphins throwing stones, is the day that I’ll change my mind about God!
    sigpic


    “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

    Author of such illuminating essays as,
    Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.
  • Dr. Zaius
    Member of Landover Zoological Society
    Forum Member
    • Jan 2008
    • 249

    #2
    Re: Monkey Preaches Christianity to Swedes

    I don't see why that's such a great discovery. Monkeys have been using shit for projectiles since zoos were invented. If you were trapped in a zoo, you'd throw whatever you had, too.
    Ack!

    Comment

    • SayvedByTheLord
      Sinner Who Has Found the Truth©
      True Christian™
      • May 2007
      • 3151

      #3
      Re: Monkey Preaches Christianity to Swedes

      Originally posted by Dr. Zaius View Post
      I don't see why that's such a great discovery. Monkeys have been using shit for projectiles since zoos were invented. If you were trapped in a zoo, you'd throw whatever you had, too.
      They do it in the wild too, at least until hit with a well placed large caliber round.


      Leviticus 26:27-29

      27 And if ye will not for all this hearken unto me, but walk contrary unto me;
      28 Then I will walk contrary unto you also in fury; and I, even I, will chastise you seven times for your sins.
      29 And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat.

      Comment

      • Bobby-Joe
        Landover Security Superviser
        Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert
        NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
        True Christian™
        • Sep 2006
        • 18405

        #4
        Re: Monkey Preaches Christianity to Swedes

        I would like to see some Darwnist explaining this away. The monkey throws stones, the monkey gets his tallywacker chopped off. Were is the planing and anticipating the future in that?

        Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

        Hot Must ReadThreads!


        Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!

        Comment

        • Pastor Ezekiel
          Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
           
          • Sep 2006
          • 78555

          #5
          Re: Monkey Preaches Christianity to Swedes

          Originally posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
          I would like to see some Darwnist explaining this away. The monkey throws stones, the monkey gets his tallywacker chopped off. Were is the planing and anticipating the future in that?
          Well said brother BJ. These God-haters make such a big deal out of nothing! I'm still waiting for the Darwinistas to produce a monkey that can read the Bible. If evolution is true, they should be able to do that by now.
          Who Will Jesus Damn?

          Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

          Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

          Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

          Comment

          • barneyhilliard
            Forum Member
            Forum Member
            • Mar 2009
            • 96

            #6
            Re: Monkey Preaches Christianity to Swedes

            I find it truly blasphemous that one would assume that if a monkey can throw a rock they are somehow like man. These so-called scientists try so hard to prove Darwin (Satan's Imp) was right. Can a monkey build an ark? Nope. Monkeys just got to ride in one. Case closed.
            HUNTING ATHEISTS SINCE 1989.

            I ♣ Seals!!

            Comment

            • barneyhilliard
              Forum Member
              Forum Member
              • Mar 2009
              • 96

              #7
              Re: Monkey Preaches Christianity to Swedes

              I did some extra research on this story. Apparently this was not even a real monkey. It was Gary Coleman who was captured while on vacation in Sweden. Those silly atheist, Swedish zookeeper apparently have never seen a negro midget before.

              "Whacha talkin' 'bout Willis?"
              HUNTING ATHEISTS SINCE 1989.

              I ♣ Seals!!

              Comment

              • Pastor Ezekiel
                Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                 
                • Sep 2006
                • 78555

                #8
                Re: Monkey Preaches Christianity to Swedes

                You know how I know this story is a fake? Because animals are all atheists.

                Think about it.
                Who Will Jesus Damn?

                Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                Comment

                • Daisy Mae Johnson
                  The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
                  Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
                  aka the Biblethumpin Blonde
                  True Christian™
                  • Sep 2006
                  • 15708

                  #9
                  Re: Monkey Preaches Christianity to Swedes

                  Originally posted by barneyhilliard View Post

                  "Whacha talkin' 'bout Willis?"
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