Looking for a high-pressure sprinkler system

[Cranky Old Man]

I prefer to shoot the rodents, but the neighbors seem to think guns are not the proper way to get their kids off my property. I am looking for a good high-pressure sprinkler system to take care of this. Preferable one with a motion detector.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Looking for a high-pressure sprinkler system

This might help:

Them kids are allergic to water. If you can get hold of one of those systems, I've a gadget to pressurize it to 150psi

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Looking for a high-pressure sprinkler system

This is exactly what I am looking for. Thank you for the tip Brother Ezekiel. Time to figure out where to get one of those and which of my kids will get the honor of installing it for me. And I will gladly buy that 150psi gadget from you. Praise the LORD!

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: Looking for a high-pressure sprinkler system

High pressure water works wonders repelling undesirables. I remember being a lad of 15 and visiting my uncle down in Mississippi, and there was all these unruly negroes in the streets. Well, the cops and firemen wouldn't have any of that and washed them away with firehoses. They scattered like roaches.

My cousin was a firefighter at the time and he let me help him hold the hose. We got some old negress straight in the head and the pressure of it knocked her to the floor. I don't think she got up after that. Ah, fun memories!

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Looking for a high-pressure sprinkler system

One of my sons figured it out. It seems Contech makes those sprinklers with motion detection. Time to order some of those.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Looking for a high-pressure sprinkler system

Rev. Jim, you had some great times as a kid. I sadly lived near NYC. While we had some uprisings, they were far and few between as many of the decent people, the White folk, felk that the nigras deserved more. I felt then and do now, the mere fact that we let them live is a lot. But I digress.
Living where I do now, we get no nigras passing through. Either they work for me (and I keep a strict eye on them at all times) or they do not live nearby. The closest thing we have to the fun you had is with the messicans. If I do not need any day workers when at Home Depot, I turn on the siren in my truck and yell "Immagracion!! Immagracion!!" To see them run as fast as they can, hoping the fence, running (sometimes limping) across Rt. 81, dodging the trucks passing at 80 mph is great for a few laughs.

[Paul Jeffery]

Re: Looking for a high-pressure sprinkler system

This little gemsells for less than $100.

Of course, there's always signage.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Looking for a high-pressure sprinkler system

Thank you, I ordered 12 of those now. Unfortunately it will be a while before they arrive.

[Halleluyah Rob]

Re: Looking for a high-pressure sprinkler system

If the sprinklers aren't efficient enough, you could always just set bear-traps and if the neighbors complain tell them it's because of moles ruining your lawn.

I've been setting bear traps for a while and a kid hasn't step foot on my lawn for years. Occasionally at night I'll hear a muffled shout and look to the window to see some teenager limping away into the woods.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Looking for a high-pressure sprinkler system

Bear-traps, hm, interesting idea.

[Noah Dint]

Re: Looking for a high-pressure sprinkler system

Does anyone have a solution for gophers?

-ND

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Looking for a high-pressure sprinkler system

I prefer shooting them. Great fun for the whole family. The grandson I told you about, who shot himself in his foot, can walk again and he is now shooting more of them than ever. Only problem is sometimes a neighbor complains when you accidentally kill some pet.

[Halleluyah Rob]

Re: Looking for a high-pressure sprinkler system

I prefer shooting them. Great fun for the whole family. The grandson I told you about, who shot himself in his foot, can walk again and he is now shooting more of them than ever. Only problem is sometimes a neighbor complains when you accidentally kill some pet.

So that's why Mrs. Johnson was ranting on about her cat missing a piece of it's tail..

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Looking for a high-pressure sprinkler system

Does anyone have a solution for gophers?

-ND

That's what servants are for. I'm always telling my 14 year old Indonesian houseboy to "gopher this" and "gopher that."

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Looking for a high-pressure sprinkler system

So that's why Mrs. Johnson was ranting on about her cat missing a piece of it's tail..

Lies!