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  • #16
    Re: Landover beautification day Saturday June 14

    Oh, that’s what all those wet people were! They didn’t even have their rusty Ford Pick-Ups with them – must have water in the carb.

    Nephew Zebulun pointed them out to me from the 37th floor; a thin line of men women and children slowly climbing the hill towards Landover. Have you noticed how flood water makes everyone’s clothes look the same color?

    I think the greatest problem here is the lack of Bibles printed on waterproof paper. I mean, imagine the man of the household trying to read something from Jeremiah to lift spirits as the flood water and sewage rose around the necks of the smaller children, and at the very moment as he is to turn the page to announce,

    Jer:9:15: Therefore thus saith the LORD of hosts, the God of Israel; Behold, I will feed them, even this people, with wormwood, and give them water of gall to drink.

    The Holy book dissolves into a mess, and the message is lost! Despair will follow and what of their souls?

    On a broader view, the Unsaved are a strange lot, one moment they are complaining about a water crisis and then they are complaining about water – really, they can’t have it both ways!
    Last edited by Jeb Stuart Thurmond; 06-12-2008, 10:50 PM. Reason: added link
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    “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

    Author of such illuminating essays as,
    Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

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    • #17
      Re: Landover beautification day Saturday June 14

      Brother Ezekiel, we could get them these:



      It's weatherproof. Perfect for dealing with floods.

      Unfortunately, while available in KJV, it is only the New Testament, Psalms, and Proverbs. I fear this could lead to the unsaved picking and choosing sections of the Bible to read, and thinking they can toss aside the Old Testament!!
      Bible boring? Nonsense!
      Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
      You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

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      • #18
        Re: Landover beautification day Saturday June 14

        I'm pretty certain our Paris Hilton Edition $270 hot pink calfskin Bibles are waterproof. (My copy has taken a few splashes around the Song of Solomon and is still readable.)


        If I recall correctly, our FEMA contract gives us 2.8 million dollars. That means we can hand out 10 thousand bibles and still have money left over for food (handing out bibles to sinners is hard work, I expect we'll get very hungry).
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        • #19
          Re: Landover beautification day Saturday June 14

          I know it's a day early, but I have my servants out (with notes of permission, and I've alerted Bobby-Joe and the boys in SecureOps) doing our share today. The way I figure it, if we're going to be beautifying Freehold tomorrow, it's not going to help the cause by having a bunch of Nigras and Mexican'ts out there uglifying the town.
          Before any politically correct LIEberals start crying about how all "people" are beautiful in their own way, I'm sure they are. It's not racism, I just don't find Nigras and Mexican'ts attractive in any way (along with Ornimentals, Injuns, Left-handeds, Irish, and Demoncrats).
          Posted via Prayer

          1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
          Bearing my husband's heirs and being SAVED!

          Blogging for CHRIST!
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          • #20
            Re: Landover beautification day Saturday June 14

            Originally posted by Sister Mary Maria View Post
            I know it's a day early, but I have my servants out (with notes of permission, and I've alerted Bobby-Joe and the boys in SecureOps) doing our share today. The way I figure it, if we're going to be beautifying Freehold tomorrow, it's not going to help the cause by having a bunch of Nigras and Mexican'ts out there uglifying the town.
            Before any politically correct LIEberals start crying about how all "people" are beautiful in their own way, I'm sure they are. It's not racism, I just don't find Nigras and Mexican'ts attractive in any way (along with Ornimentals, Injuns, Left-handeds, Irish, and Demoncrats).
            Just like a woman. Sending out the help to tidy up before cleaning day. We sure don't want all our volunteers finding a mess, now do we.

            You ladies of Landover are so cute, in your addle-brained ways.
            Who Will Jesus Damn?

            Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

            Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

            Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

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            • #21
              Re: Landover beautification day Saturday June 14

              I hope our efforts do Iowa proud. Have any news crews been thru town yet?
              May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

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