The Landover Baptist Church Forum

The Landover Baptist Church Forum (https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forumindex.php)
-   The Thrifty Christian (https://www.landoverbaptist.net/forumdisplay.php?f=64)
-   -   Tithing Reminder: DON'T JEW JESUS! (https://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=50073)

Pastor Ezekiel 07-21-2012 04:36 AM

Re: Tithing Reminder: DON'T JEW JESUS!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Captain_Malfunction (Post 908932)
Exactly what do we gain by tithing? I am just curious to know.

Gain? :huh:

How about not spending eternity being satan's favorite party ewe? How's that?

Captain_Malfunction 07-21-2012 02:02 PM

Re: Tithing Reminder: DON'T JEW JESUS!
 
Hmm we Urantians do not have a concept of Hell in our religion, but I would be more than happy to tithe to you all.

Can I get a pony though, since I will not become Satan's favorite party ewe?

James Hutchins 07-21-2012 05:28 PM

Re: Tithing Reminder: DON'T JEW JESUS!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Captain_Malfunction (Post 909090)
Hmm we Urantians do not have a concept of Hell in our religion, but I would be more than happy to tithe to you all.

Can I get a pony though, since I will not become Satan's favorite party ewe?

Sure, we will send you a pony, (it will be a little one) once your accounts zero out.B)

Donovan A. Mordecai 08-03-2013 08:10 PM

Re: Tithing Reminder: DON'T JEW JESUS!
 
I have tried a couple times to tithe the LBC, but there seems to be something wrong with the paypal acct. Is my money not good enough to do the Lords work or has some sinner been hacking on it?

Didymus Much 08-03-2013 08:29 PM

Re: Tithing Reminder: DON'T JEW JESUS!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Dec Abdiel Mordecai (Post 1019267)
I have tried a couple times to tithe the LBC, but there seems to be something wrong with the paypal acct. Is my money not good enough to do the Lords work or has some sinner been hacking on it?

The Bible tells them to be cautious about accepting donations:

Deuteronomy 23:18 "Thou shalt not bring the hire of a whore, or the price of a dog, into the house of the Lord thy God for any vow: for even both these are abomination unto the Lord thy God."

You aren't trying to launder your pimping income, are you? :hmmm:

Donovan A. Mordecai 08-03-2013 08:38 PM

Re: Tithing Reminder: DON'T JEW JESUS!
 
Exodus 25:2 - Speak unto the children of Israel, that they bring me an offering: of every man that giveth it willingly with his heart ye shall take my offering.

Didymus Much 08-03-2013 08:42 PM

Re: Tithing Reminder: DON'T JEW JESUS!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Dec Abdiel Mordecai (Post 1019272)
Exodus 25:2 - Speak unto the children of Israel, that they bring me an offering: of every man that giveth it willingly with his heart ye shall take my offering.

Evading the question and implying that the Bible is internally contradictory: yeah, you should fit in around here. :thumbdown:

Donovan A. Mordecai 08-03-2013 08:52 PM

Re: Tithing Reminder: DON'T JEW JESUS!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Didymus Much (Post 1019273)
Evading the question and implying that the Bible is internally contradictory: yeah, you should fit in around here. :thumbdown:


to answer your question, I have never, practiced rentals, only sales to Good Christian Men

Exodus 21:7 And if a man sell his daughter to be a maidservant, she shall not go out as the menservants do.

WWJDnow 08-06-2013 07:40 PM

Re: Tithing Reminder: DON'T JEW JESUS!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Dec Abdiel Mordecai (Post 1019272)
Exodus 25:2 - Speak unto the children of Israel, that they bring me an offering: of every man that giveth it willingly with his heart ye shall take my offering.

Speak unto the children of Israel, that they bring me an offering: of every man that giveth it willingly with his heart ye shall take my offering. And this is the offering which ye shall take of them; gold, and silver, and brass, And blue, and purple, and scarlet, and fine linen, and goats' hair, And rams' skins dyed red, and badgers' skins, and shittim wood, Oil for the light, spices for anointing oil, and for sweet incense, Onyx stones, and stones to be set in the ephod, and in the breastplate. Exodus 25:1-7

We aren't willing to take your Paypal, but if you have a spare ephod or goats' hair garment to donate, that can be arranged.

Lannah Aikens 08-09-2013 01:13 AM

Re: Tithing Reminder: DON'T JEW JESUS!
 
Don't Jew Jesus? Are you serious?! What are you, five, resorting to stereotypes like this? That's alright, I'm sure the FBI enjoys finding links to stuff like this, makes their job more interesting ;)

Pastor Ezekiel 08-09-2013 03:46 AM

Re: Tithing Reminder: DON'T JEW JESUS!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Lannah Aikens (Post 1020248)
Don't Jew Jesus? Are you serious?! What are you, five, resorting to stereotypes like this? That's alright, I'm sure the FBI enjoys finding links to stuff like this, makes their job more interesting ;)

Be sure and record the call.

I can't wait to hear your local FBI office's reaction to you reporting us for practicing Christianity according to the Holy Bible. :haha:

whydochristianshate 05-13-2017 05:13 AM

Re: Tithing Reminder: DON'T JEW JESUS!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel (Post 598331)
Amen sister. :threaten:

damn daddy ezekial i want you to put your ***Stupid attempt to gain teenage kudos by shock value removed*** please father ***Antoher stupid attempt to gain teenage kudos by shock value removed***i want to fit ***Still another stupid attempt to gain teenage kudos by shock value removed***

whydochristianshate 05-13-2017 05:30 AM

Re: Tithing Reminder: DON'T JEW JESUS!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel (Post 1020309)
Be sure and record the call.

I can't wait to hear your local FBI office's reaction to you reporting us for practicing Christianity according to the Holy Bible. :haha:

okay but seriously now, how can all of the christians on this site be so hateful? religion and god are both supposed to be a beautiful thing. how can you believe every word in a book thats been written and rewritten by man so many times? life is supposed to be enjoyed and explored, living in such a closeminded world how do you even make it through the day, focusing on others lives so much. how can you go on being so bitter, like seriously, ive seen people on here saying cannabis (a gift from god) is heroin, and that gothgirls should be raped. truly evil and despicable, for every thought of hate or judgement you all just stray further from your lord. you think that god, a supposedly omnipotent being, creator of the entire universe, can fit in a bible? do you think that we as humans can even comprehend what he intends for us? get a grip, flatearther

Elmer G. White 05-13-2017 05:38 AM

Re: Tithing Reminder: DON'T JEW JESUS!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by whydochristianshate (Post 1212645)
okay but seriously now, how can all of the christians on this site be so hateful? religion and god are both supposed to be a beautiful thing. how can you believe every word in a book thats been written and rewritten by man so many times? life is supposed to be enjoyed and explored, living in such a closeminded world how do you even make it through the day, focusing on others lives so much. how can you go on being so bitter, like seriously, ive seen people on here saying cannabis (a gift from god) is heroin, and that gothgirls should be raped. truly evil and despicable, for every thought of hate or judgement you all just stray further from your lord. you think that god, a supposedly omnipotent being, creator of the entire universe, can fit in a bible? do you think that we as humans can even comprehend what he intends for us? get a grip, flatearther

Dear Sinner,

Please look at your first post just above your second one. It contained only insults and references to fornicatory violence and you actually thought that that would be a decent way to make your first post on a Christian Forum? It was so rude that it was impossible to let is remain on a Forum that is visited by women and children. Can you see how the constant flow of hate that the newcomers pour down on us eventually affects the rhetoric of the Interwebs and just breeds more hate?!

Matthew 7:5
Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye.

Our mission is to warn the populace that if they go on business as usual, Jesus is not going to spare them come Rapture (1 Thessalonians 4:17). Their eternity is at stake. Now, are you seriously calling that "hate" when it's in reality our labor of Love.

Now, please tell us how your first post promoted making this world a "beautiful thing"? How does you ad hominem scorn "flatearther" advance your ideals? :huh:


Yours in Christ,

Elmer :bye:

whydochristianshate 05-13-2017 06:20 AM

Re: Tithing Reminder: DON'T JEW JESUS!
 
Yeah you're right that first post was pretty funny haha, but I don't recall violence, I was just so attracted to Zeke bc he puts the "stud" in bible study. Sinning's pretty fun tho! I can do whatever I want without repercussions from some spaghetti monster in the sky. And maybe I helped some poor little gay child think outside a box, even if it was a very vulgar and profane joke lmao, and you're correct, it was pretty hypocritical but that's cool, like I said, sinning's fun, and as long as people don't look down on others or judge them in hateful ways like all of the "good" Bible thumpers on this website, I respect them and let them live their own lives. Touching yourself is fun, feels good, and doesn't make you a bad person :)

Didymus Much 05-13-2017 06:23 AM

Re: Tithing Reminder: DON'T JEW JESUS!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by whydochristianshate (Post 1212662)
Yeah you're right that first post was pretty funny haha, but I don't recall violence, I was just so attracted to Zeke bc he puts the "stud" in bible study. Sinning's pretty fun tho! I can do whatever I want without repercussions from some spaghetti monster in the sky. And maybe I helped some poor little gay child think outside a box, even if it was a very vulgar and profane joke lmao, and you're correct, it was pretty hypocritical but that's cool, like I said, sinning's fun, and as long as people don't look down on others or judge them in hateful ways like all of the "good" Bible thumpers on this website, I respect them and let them live their own lives. Touching yourself is fun, feels good, and doesn't make you a bad person :)

Goody for you!

But you're not a True Christian™, and this is their forum, not yours, so no one cares what you think. :)

*sound of someone's bubble bursting*

:bye:

Elmer G. White 05-13-2017 06:30 AM

Re: Tithing Reminder: DON'T JEW JESUS!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by whydochristianshate (Post 1212662)
...and as long as people don't look down on others or judge them in hateful ways like all of the "good" Bible thumpers on this website, I respect them and let them live their own lives...

Dear Person, what a wonderful principle! What would you say to someone who posts things such as the one below? Does it contain looking down on people of judging them? How does it represent respect and letting people live their own lives?
Quote:

Originally Posted by whydochristianshate (Post 1212657)
I'd have to disagree, they're a racist homophobic piece of judgmental garbage who's probably not mentally stable! Everyone should care what they have to say, maybe it'll prevent a school shooting damn christians are bad people

We respect God and His Ways!

Psalms 119:15
I will meditate in thy precepts, and have respect unto thy ways.

The Way is Jesus!

John 14:6
Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.


Yours in Christ,

Elmer :bye:

whydochristianshate 05-13-2017 06:38 AM

Re: Tithing Reminder: DON'T JEW JESUS!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Elmer G. White (Post 1212664)
Dear Person, what a wonderful principle! What would you say to someone who posts things such as the one below? Does it contain looking down on people of judging them? How does it represent respect and letting people live their own lives?

We respect God and His Ways!

Psalms 119:15
I will meditate in thy precepts, and have respect unto thy ways.

The Way is Jesus!

John 14:6
Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.


Yours in Christ,

Elmer :bye:

Yeah, you guys are right, I've been pretty childish, I will not make any more posts on this website, sorry for my annoyances and trying to start fights, I need to let all of you live your own lives without my input. Goodluck in your future.

whydochristianshate 05-13-2017 06:43 AM

Re: Tithing Reminder: DON'T JEW JESUS!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Didymus Much (Post 1212663)
Goody for you!

But you're not a True Christian™, and this is their forum, not yours, so no one cares what you think. :)

*sound of someone's bubble bursting*

:bye:

Yeah true man, ya didn't really burst my bubble or anything but I've been being very childish and I honestly apologize, goodnight.

Shesmycherrypie 12-11-2017 05:56 AM

Re: Tithing Reminder: DON'T JEW JESUS!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel (Post 598331)
Amen sister. :threaten:

jesus will damn you and that nasty fake wink on your avatar (which by the way is creepy)

can you PLEASE ban me?
or jesus gonna do it for you?

also why is the bible telling the truth? its a genuine question. what made you believe in a book as hardcore as you do?


All times are GMT. The time now is 03:30 AM.

Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2021, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Content Landover Baptist Forums 1620, 2018 all rights reserved