[Brother Temperance]

Re: Ten Questions to Ask Your History Teacher

ok.

Praise Jesus! Even a hateful communist can't argue with Bobby-Joe's glorious logic!

[Magnum Innominandum]

Re: Ten Questions to Ask Your History Teacher

Putting aside the fiendish Freudian surge of the sapphic in the fantasies of that false Christian, so accurately analyzed by JennyD -- I would like to point out that the analogy offered by MusicInHerHeart exposes the delirium that comes of straying from the path of True Christianity™.

Music changes. From the death metal of the primitive Norwegians to the mindless pipings of New Agers engaged in their amorphous abominations -- from the sick hymns to Santa one hears at the mall to the dithyrambs of cathylick devils, music is unreliable -- unlike the Lord.

Music soothes the savage breast -- something that shouldn't be done. Savage breasts are for spearing, not soothing.

As Plato put it: "When the mode of the music changes, the walls of the city shake." As a pagan homer who knew all about going soft, Plato observed that the relaxed modes of music -- the kind this sinner is hallucinating when writhing about in bed -- enfeeble the mind.

The Word of the Lord does not change. It's found in the Bible, KJV 1611, and it's immutable.

If you've this fickle, cloying cacophony ("sweet melody") in your girl-gourd and it makes you think of God, my friend -- it's just another indication of how soft you've gone... something we already suspected when you promoted a tolerance for sodomy.

You seem to be drawn to the Lord, MusicInHerHeart, and that's peachy-keen -- but the path of righteousness is narrow.

And so I say again -- get that music out of your heart and enthrone the Jesus of True Christianity™!

Sincerely,
Magna, née Magnus

[bobbob123]

Re: Ten Questions to Ask Your History Teacher

Just to clarify here: The "Normans" are a group of people from "Normandy," a geographic location in France. The "Normans" are certainly not a group of people named Norman. William the Conqueror, did IN FACT, lead the Normans (a group of people from France, not people named "Norman") to conquer the the southern part of the British island in 1066.

Secondly, there is an amazing amount of evidence supporting George Washington's existence. Continental Congress records, archived letters referencing him, his own personal papers. Not to mention army records, land ownership papers and personal property. Also, just because there "are no photographs of a person" does not mean they didn't exist. We don't have photographs of Jesus, Moses, Noah, Adam or any of the Biblical Kings, but we still believe that they existed. Photography was invented in the early 1800s, and was not perfected within Washinton's lifetime.

Thirdly, when the Revolutionary war is described as being won by a series of small victories, it does not describe : "random, undirected sequence of military engagements." They weren't random attacks, they were targeted to have the maximum effect with minimal resources. They were certainly directed, the Continental Army was led by a great many leaders, George Washington, John Burgoyne, Howe, etc (see http://americanrevwar.homestead.com/files/GENERALS.htm)

Any questions?

[JennyD]

Re: Ten Questions to Ask Your History Teacher

Any questions?

Yes.

This thread was last posted in back in 2007. It's now 2009.

Do you often go digging back in dead threads in forums so you can find something you think you know something about?

This is a Christian Church forum, not Bob's History Book Chat.

[JessLovesYourFace]

Re: Ten Questions to Ask Your History Teacher

I'm going to try and answer some questions, not only because i'm a history student, but i want to test my known knowledge. I doubt you'll listen to me anyway...

The Discovery Institute has supplied a valuable teaching tool in the form of a list of ten questions, for students to ask their biology teachers when they start to talk about "evolution". Just as innocent requests for fairness and balance!

Here is a similar article for those who want to bring this noble crusade to the rest of the academic disciplines, starting with history:

So -- kids, the next time your history teacher starts trying to force-feed you Revolutionary "theory" as if it were "fact", you know what to do!

Ten Questions to Ask Your History Teacher

Q: ORIGIN OF GOVERNMENTS: Why do history textbooks claim that the modern British monarchy originated with the "Norman conquest", in "1066?, when nobody has ever seen a calendar for that year, and there has never been an English king named "Norman"?

The name of the 'Norman conquests' came because William I was from Normandy. It was also the start of the rigidly based inheritance of the crown still seen today.



Q: SILLY HATS. Why do textbooks claim that Revolutionary Fashion can explain the use of Tricorner Hats by the colonists -- even though these hats were not used in the French Revolution, and there are no such silly hats anywhere else in history?

English fashion in the 1600's and 1700's saw some men wearing these hats.


Q: THE AMERICAN REVOLUTION A FACT? Why are we told that the American Revolution is an historical fact -- even though many Revolutionary claims are based on misrepresentations of the facts?

And remember -- when some liberal revolutionist starts spouting off about imaginary events supposed to have taken place in 1776, all you have to do is look him in the eye and ask "Were you there?".

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Re: Ten Questions to Ask Your History Teacher

The name of the 'Norman conquests' came because William I was from Normandy.

That's circular logic. Why is it called "Normandy"? Because it's filled with normans. Why are they called "Normans"? Because they're from normandy! Why is it called "Normandy"? Because it's filled with normans. Why are they called "Normans"? Because they're from normandy! Why is it called "Normandy"? Because it's filled with normans. Why are they called "Normans"? Because they're from normandy! Why is it called "Normandy"? Because it's filled with normans. Why are they called "Normans"? Because they're from normandy!

So, you see how false the evolution-of-names theory is false. Clearly names are intelligently designed by God, as part of His Divine Plan.

English fashion in the 1600's and 1700's saw some men wearing these hats.

As I've said before, first people were bareheaded, after this they wore tophats. but WHERE IS THE MISSING LINK? Were are the tiny triangle hats, and the half-triangle-half tophats?

Also, hats were made of natural substances in America then, while today they are made from polyester in china. Where is the ruins of the factory in the pacific where hats were made from a half-natural half-artificial material? WHERE IS THE MISSING LINK?

So you see the theory of fashions evolving from one fashion to the next is disproven. Obviously fashions are intelligently designed by God, as part of His Divine Plan.

EDIT: Thread derailments from this thread have been moved HERE.

[jimbobboy]

Re: Ten Questions to Ask Your History Teacher

Jeb:
I appreciate your notice of my post, and can only admire the exegetical effort expended by your many commenters.
I also realize it's been a few years.
But it would have been a courtesy if, in addition to quoting me at length, you had supplied attribution and a link to the original post, viz.:

http://www.someareboojums.org/blog/?p=21

Not complaining, just asking.

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Re: Ten Questions to Ask Your History Teacher

Not complaining, just asking.

I found the article in unattributed copy and paste form and I apologize for not having done a better search to find the origional version and it's brilliant author.

Are you employed by the Discovery Institute, by any chance? Because Landover Baptist University has a more competetive payscale as well as fringe benefits that....Well, you'll just have to see for yourself.

Either way, we'd like you to continue sharing your wisdom with us.

[jimbobboy]

Re: Ten Questions to Ask Your History Teacher

Thanks, Jeb!

I understand entirely how these things can happen -- the forces of darkness are everywhere on the intertubes, constantly laying traps for the righteous!

At the time of my original post, it was noticed by notorious heathen and spawn of Satan PZ Myers (http://pharyngula.org/index/weblog/c...ts_are_coming/), who seemed to think it was a work of mockery; can you beat that?

In any event, your site is a beacon of wisdom to those hungry for salvation, and I'll have to make sure to check back frequently.

(And I was highly tickled by the auto-correct)

[Nobar King]

Re: Ten Questions to Ask Your History Teacher

In any case, your history teacher was probably wrong more than she was right.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Ten Questions to Ask Your History Teacher

[...]and I'll have to make sure to check back frequently.

Why? Have you got something else worth stealing using as educational material?

[jimbobboy]

Re: Ten Questions to Ask Your History Teacher

Now, if I were to urge any of my own poor scribblings for you to shamelessly rip off use as guidance for the faithful, I would only be making meaningless noise like a loud gong or a clanging cymbal (I Cor. 13:1).
Though I might mention in humility that I did once write a tribute in song to the greatest Republican Christian this nation will ever see:

http://www.someareboojums.org/blog/?p=35

I am the very model of a modern Christian President,
My sanctified advisers are both transient and resident,
I know our planet’s history in milestones theological,
From Genesis to Malachi (but nothing geological).
I’m very well acquainted too with matters exegetical,
I parse the scientific into holy and heretical,
In embryonic stem cells, I see Satan’s plan to capture us,
But space-based X-ray lasers make me positively rapturous!

But space-based X-ray lasers make him positively rapturous,
But space-based X-ray lasers make him positively rapturous,
But space-based X-ray lasers make him positively raptu- rapturous!

I will not rest until our era cuts off at the Holocene,
And all our high school students have Intelligent Designer genes.
In short, with pious counselors both transient and resident,
I am the very model of a modern Christian president!
******
Pat Robertson’s advice for me has never failed to fascinate —
Especially which foreign leader we should now assassinate.
To pick Supreme Court justices, I never have to wait and see –
Pat puckers up his eyes and asks the Lord to make a vacancy!
For drilling in the Holy Land, I’ve always had a softer side,
Don’t tell me of the Hubbert Peak — it’s Providence that will provide.
My daddy and his daddy knew their bidness King Faroukh-ular,
But never bring it up with me, because I might go nucular!

But never bring it up with him, because he might go nucular,
But never bring it up with him, because he might go nucular,
But never bring it up with him, because he might go nucu- nucular!

I don’t believe in global warming; Kyoto is anathema.
I haven’t put the weather in my plans — and neither has FEMA,
But still, with pious counselors both transient and resident,
I am the very model of a modern Christian president!
******
When I can tell you what is meant by adenine or cytosine,
When I can tell by sight a PCR tank from a bread machine,
When I’ve acquired the rudiments of epidemiology,
And list the latex virtues with no hint of an apology,
When I know any factor that gives rise to tropical cyclones,
When I know more of physics than our mascot did at Skull and Bones,
When I have mastered any part of of basic science policy,
You’ll have a Christian president who clearly isn’t all at sea!

We’ll have a Christian president who clearly isn’t all at sea,
We’ll have a Christian president who clearly isn’t all at sea,
We’ll have a Christian president who clearly isn’t all-at-all-at-sea!

For, although in sacred matters I’m a walking, talking Pentium,
In science I have only reached the early first millennium.
But still, with pious counselors both transient and resident,
I am the very model of a modern Christian president!

Copyright © 2005 Jim Easter.
Permission is granted to copy, distribute and/or modify this document
under the terms of the GNU Free Documentation License, Version 1.2
or any later version published by the Free Software Foundation.

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Re: Ten Questions to Ask Your History Teacher

With this and the "A Few of our favorite things" song, we should record an album (sadly, MC Pastor Deacon Fred and His Funky Crewed Posse are having creative differences after recording their first 4 songs.)

[jimbobboy]

Re: Ten Questions to Ask Your History Teacher

Well, I have been directed by power greater than myself to write a song in praise of a pure leader from the far North, but the revelation is not yet complete. I'll have my voices call your voices, K?

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Ten Questions to Ask Your History Teacher

Your Pastor must be very proud of you. I'm impressed with your writing and musical skills and feel inclined to forgive you for pre-stealing Brother Jeb's topic.