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  • #316
    Re: ACCEPT JESUS AND GET A FREE PS3!

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    • #317
      Re: ACCEPT JESUS AND GET A FREE PS3!

      Originally posted by CoolDude905 View Post
      Wait a second, children are not allowed on this forum, and yet you are promoting DIRECTLY towards minors with free possessions? And you have the AUDACITY to promote a VIDEO GAME console of all things?! Someone needs to call a moderator, this is a satanist commie that wants to stray our children from the way of God!
      Sir, you are in no position to be condemning, exhorting, admonishing or even instructing anyone here. Not cool, dude.
      His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.

      Guns For God and the Economy

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      • #318
        Re: ACCEPT JESUS AND GET A FREE PS3!

        Originally posted by CoolDude905 View Post
        Wait a second, children are not allowed on this forum, and yet you are promoting DIRECTLY towards minors with free possessions? And you have the AUDACITY to promote a VIDEO GAME console of all things?! Someone needs to call a moderator, this is a satanist commie that wants to stray our children from the way of God!
        How interesting that even with the promise of a free game console you are so deeply embedded in Satan's rectum that you absolutely refuse to consider such an idea as Salvation. Your poor mother must weep.
        Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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        • #319
          Re: ACCEPT JESUS AND GET A FREE PS3!

          Originally posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
          How interesting that even with the promise of a free game console you are so deeply embedded in Satan's rectum that you absolutely refuse to consider such an idea as Salvation. Your poor mother must weep.
          Posters who complain about Landover giving away free PS3's in exchange for accepting Jesus do not understand the world we are in. Satan offers free sins of many kinds, free sex, free homerism and every other despicable sin that temps humans. To compete we Christians have to innovate.
          Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.

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          • #320
            Re: ACCEPT JESUS AND GET A FREE PS3!

            Is it worth pointing out that if one received a free mug, that doesn't mean you'd have to drink arsenic cyanide? It COULD be used for that of course, and the same applies to any gift.


            An electric carving knife, not a thing I'd want to give to some of the people turning up here, seems quite useful for bread and trimming daffodil stems and roast meat and all sorts of things. I've never had one but you see them at Carveries. You could also hack your leg off.


            Jesus has explained about self amputation sufficiently for us to know when not to do it and when it's appropriate. But that's not its intended use when given as a gift.


            Surely the same applies to a PS3?

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            • #321
              Re: ACCEPT JESUS AND GET A FREE PS3!

              Landover may think that kids need a Playstation to accept Jesus.
              Catholics, on the other hand, knows very well what kids really need:

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              • #322
                Re: ACCEPT JESUS AND GET A FREE PS3!

                "No kid left without idols, beads, and a deep sense of guilt": The Catholic Motto.


                Le:19:4: Turn ye not unto idols, nor make to yourselves molten gods: I am the LORD your God.
                Le:26:1: Ye shall make you no idols nor graven image, neither rear you up a standing image, neither shall ye set up any image of stone in your land, to bow down unto it: for I am the LORD your God.
                Le:26:30: And I will destroy your high places, and cut down your images, and cast your carcases upon the carcases of your idols, and my soul shall abhor you.


                How does it feel to know that God is currently abhorring you?
                sigpic


                “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

                Author of such illuminating essays as,
                Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

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                • #323
                  Re: ACCEPT JESUS AND GET A FREE PS3!

                  Free Market Fred informed me last week that we are expecting a new shipment of PS3 any day, apparently they are on the boat from the manufacturer. Just in time for the upcoming holidays.
                  I can just imagine Newly Saved(r) sitting at the table, gushing with the Love of Jesus(c), rebuking those that have not accepted His Pendulant Bosoms and become engorged with His Gifts.
                  Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                  Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                  Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                  Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                  Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                  Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

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                  • #324
                    Re: ACCEPT JESUS AND GET A FREE PS3!

                    Originally posted by Romeo Rovagnati View Post
                    Landover may think that kids need a Playstation to accept Jesus.
                    Catholics, on the other hand, knows very well what kids really need:
                    Dear Mr. Rovagnati: I will be thanking you to kindly refrain from posting such outrageous blasphemy on a forum — particularly when this forum is !

                    You will note that my response to you does not include the disgusting photo that you've used, as it glorifies your Cathyolick traditions: worshiping Mary, using a rosary, candles, (and — most likely — incense), statues and who-know-what-else, in the way of things that will take innocent children to eternal .

                    Thankfully, there is a way to avoid the condemnation that faces these darling kiddies, and that is by enrolling them, instead, in schools and church facilities that will teach them what they really need to know, in order to become a true disciple of the . You will find one such example in the video clip below. You will notice, also, that there is not one shred of any damnable Cathyolickism in any of this!

                    Last edited by Isabella White; 10-27-2021, 11:05 PM. Reason: Formatting error corrected.
                    (Mrs.) Isabella White

                    Hebrews 10:19 "Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the Blood of Jesus"

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                    • #325
                      Re: ACCEPT JESUS AND GET A FREE PS3!

                      Originally posted by James Hutchins View Post
                      Free Market Fred informed me last week that we are expecting a new shipment of PS3 any day, apparently they are on the boat from the manufacturer. Just in time for the upcoming holidays.
                      I can just imagine Newly Saved® sitting at the table, gushing with the Love of Jesus©, rebuking those that have not accepted His Pendulant Bosoms and become engorged with His Gifts.
                      Ungrateful kids round here won't settle for anything less than a PS5.


                      Phil
                      58 If thou wilt not observe to do all the words of this law that are written in this book, that thou mayest fear this glorious and fearful name, THE LORD THY GOD; 59 Then the LORD will make thy plagues wonderful, and the plagues of thy seed, even great plagues, and of long continuance, and sore sicknesses, and of long continuance. 60 Moreover he will bring upon thee all the diseases of Egypt, which thou wast afraid of; and they shall cleave unto thee. 61 Also every sickness, and every plague, which is not written in the book of this law, them will the LORD bringk upon thee, until thou be destroyed.


                      Deuteronomy 28: 58- 61

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