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  • How many songs has Emmylou Harris ruined?

    This is so completely off topic, I don't know if members of this Holy Board will even dignified this thread with their attention. But let's face it. There are abominations in this world. And Emmylou Harris' voice is one of them.

    Emmylou Harris posseses an acidic vibrato that coats way-too-many country songs with her erection-killing 1 mm-thick condom... errrrr, my metaphor is mixed, but you get my point. (Do I need to mention that True Christians™ tap their toes to good clean country music, when they're not humming hymns?)

    Anyway, it's impossible to listen to country music without encountering the aural specter of Emmylou Harris' vocal harmonies, embellishments, collaborations and excesses.

    Why must she ruin so many good songs?

    Am I the only one who's noticed this? or are others with me in wishing EH would never open her mouth again?
    sigpic

    I loved Newt before Newt was invincible

  • #2
    Re: How many songs has Emmylou Harris ruined?

    I don't find her any worse than this thread.

    Gulf Coast Highway is a wonderful peice of songwriting and singing.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: How many songs has Emmylou Harris ruined?

      This is probably why God killed Gram Parsons, the no-talent hack who "discovered" her. What did Gram ever do besides:

      1) Discover ELH
      2) Join the Byrds and cause them to record their only country album, now a "classic" in some circles
      3) Create the Flying Burrito Brothers
      4) Record two "classic" solo almums
      5) Go on tour with members of Elvis's band and ELH
      6) Do all that before God caught up with him and killed him at the age of 26

      God also punished Gram by having him never be as famous as many music aficionados think he should have been. I guess he is now "Blue...so blue" down in hell.
      Yours In Christ,

      Gabriel Reproba, Esq. (Lawyer for the Lord)

      Further reading to help you become a True Christian™

      Stoning Sinners: A How-To Guide
      Scientific Study: Bible is NOT "All About Love"
      The One Sin Jesus Says He Won't EVER Forgive!
      Should we only follow SOME of the Bible?
      How will YOU sacrifice your kids?
      20 Questions To See If Your Son Is A Fag
      God: Dress Like A Whore...Get Raped!
      Bible: If You Love Your Wife, Beat Her!
      Logic and Bible Agree: Gay is a choice!
      Nursery Rhymes Teach kids that Christ is Lord!
      There is no such thing as an "agnostic!"
      Science: People are Only Islamic Because They are Depressed!

      Reading only the parts of the Bible your pastor tells you to (those that make you feel warm and fuzzy) is nothing but mental and spiritual masturbation. Read the WHOLE Bible to find out what Christianity is REALLY all about! Only then can you talk to us about why we try so hard to save people from Hell.

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      • #4
        Re: How many songs has Emmylou Harris ruined?

        Originally posted by Gabriel Reproba View Post
        This is probably why God killed Gram Parsons, the no-talent hack who "discovered" her. What did Gram ever do besides:

        1) Discover ELH
        2) Join the Byrds and cause them to record their only country album, now a "classic" in some circles
        3) Create the Flying Burrito Brothers
        4) Record two "classic" solo almums
        5) Go on tour with members of Elvis's band and ELH
        6) Do all that before God caught up with him and killed him at the age of 26

        God also punished Gram by having him never be as famous as many music aficionados think he should have been. I guess he is now "Blue...so blue" down in hell.
        What a breath of fresh air your inspired commentary is, Brother! Gram Parsons' unnatural embrace of country music has spawned an untold number of pop-music abominations (Emmylou Harris, Jesse Winchester, Son Volt, Bright Eyes, need I say more?). It's a mystery to me why God didn't snuff out Parsons' drug-addled life sooner than He did.
        sigpic

        I loved Newt before Newt was invincible

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: How many songs has Emmylou Harris ruined?

          Originally posted by Larry Lee View Post
          What a breath of fresh air your inspired commentary is, Brother! Gram Parsons' unnatural embrace of country music has spawned an untold number of pop-music abominations (Emmylou Harris, Jesse Winchester, Son Volt, Bright Eyes, need I say more?). It's a mystery to me why God didn't snuff out Parsons' drug-addled life sooner than He did.
          Well said. I would add that The Eagles stole almost everything they did from Gram Parsons. If it weren't for him I might not have been forced to endure all of their Satan-inspired songs of the 70s. (You can tell they dealt with Satan because as soon as the STOPPED sounding like Gram they stopped selling records!).
          Yours In Christ,

          Gabriel Reproba, Esq. (Lawyer for the Lord)

          Further reading to help you become a True Christian™

          Stoning Sinners: A How-To Guide
          Scientific Study: Bible is NOT "All About Love"
          The One Sin Jesus Says He Won't EVER Forgive!
          Should we only follow SOME of the Bible?
          How will YOU sacrifice your kids?
          20 Questions To See If Your Son Is A Fag
          God: Dress Like A Whore...Get Raped!
          Bible: If You Love Your Wife, Beat Her!
          Logic and Bible Agree: Gay is a choice!
          Nursery Rhymes Teach kids that Christ is Lord!
          There is no such thing as an "agnostic!"
          Science: People are Only Islamic Because They are Depressed!

          Reading only the parts of the Bible your pastor tells you to (those that make you feel warm and fuzzy) is nothing but mental and spiritual masturbation. Read the WHOLE Bible to find out what Christianity is REALLY all about! Only then can you talk to us about why we try so hard to save people from Hell.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: How many songs has Emmylou Harris ruined?

            Originally posted by Gabriel Reproba View Post
            Well said. I would add that The Eagles stole almost everything they did from Gram Parsons. If it weren't for him I might not have been forced to endure all of their Satan-inspired songs of the 70s. (You can tell they dealt with Satan because as soon as the STOPPED sounding like Gram they stopped selling records!).
            So true. But it's like they themselves always admitted, "The smoker you drink, the player you get." Our God knows who to smite.
            sigpic

            I loved Newt before Newt was invincible

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: How many songs has Emmylou Harris ruined?

              Originally Posted by Gabriel Reproba
              This is probably why God killed Gram Parsons, the no-talent hack who "discovered" her.
              I gots to agree with Brother Lee (that rhymed).
              Good observation Bro. Reproba!

              The Good Lord smites cr*ap musicians and rotten bands all the time. Plucks the worst members first, then wittles down the rest o' the group till ain't nothin' left but a cover band.
              I laughed my arse off when the hack saxophoinst ~LeRoi Moore got his call to Hells Gates. Any Virgina boy who don't know how to ride an ATV is likely a flaming homo anyways.
              Hope he has fun playin' Old Maid cards with Michael Jackson for all eternity.

              Rev Jeffrey Lebowski
              Sister Verna Too {she hates rock and roll}

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: How many songs has Emmylou Harris ruined?

                Originally posted by Rev Jeffrey Lebowski View Post
                I gots to agree with Brother Lee (that rhymed).
                Good observation Bro. Reproba!

                The Good Lord smites cr*ap musicians and rotten bands all the time. Plucks the worst members first, then wittles down the rest o' the group till ain't nothin' left but a cover band.
                I laughed my arse off when the hack saxophoinst ~LeRoi Moore got his call to Hells Gates.
                Don't get me started. If ever there was a band who met Satan at the crossroads and then rode their ill-begotten celebrity to unqualified success, it was the Dave Matthews Band.
                sigpic

                I loved Newt before Newt was invincible

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: How many songs has Emmylou Harris ruined?

                  I could never get past the fact that she looked like an unbathed, folksinging longhair from San Fran-Sissyco.
                  .
                  Attached Files

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                  • #10
                    Re: How many songs has Emmylou Harris ruined?

                    Originally posted by Larry Lee View Post
                    Don't get me started. If ever there was a band who met Satan at the crossroads and then rode their ill-begotten celebrity to unqualified success, it was the Dave Matthews Band.
                    Praise Jesus!

                    I am ashamed to admit this Matthews person has been a neighbor of mine. I have complained to the township for years but he buys them off to allow him to have his Homer boy parties.I sometimes hunt along the edge of my property but have never seen him out. I have a pretty good scope too.
                    For years, I have heard about all those homers that are obsessed with his band, screaming like little girls, putting his poster over their beds. I have heard that some of these deviants are as old as 20! One thing they all have in common is a distressed IQ. Not sure if it is from sniffing lacquer thinner or model airplane glue. Makes me wish I had a giant magnifying lens.
                    Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                    Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                    Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                    Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                    Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                    Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

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                    • #11
                      Re: How many songs has Emmylou Harris ruined?

                      It's funny that this topic came up this week. Only two or three weeks ago I added Emmylou Harris to the list of 20 or so people that I include in my prayers each night asking the Lord to hit with a flaming meteor. Either it's an odd coincidence or maybe I heard a similar discussion at church a couple of weeks ago and the suggestion seeped into my unconscious. Funny.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: How many songs has Emmylou Harris ruined?

                        I must say that my True Christian™ brothers here are more in tune with pop culture than I am. Having never heard of Emmylou Harris, I ventured upon the YouTubes to have a listen. The sounds of hurricane Katrina whistling through a flamingo's anus have temporarily halted my efforts to arrange "Onward Christian Soldiers" for Baroque instrumentation.

                        Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
                        brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
                        ...and get off my lawn
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