[Mary Thompson]

Well Ladies, as some of you know, I am heavily pregnant, as each day ends it gets closer and closer to the birth date of my two babies inside me, so I wanted to write a thread about Birthing advice, helping others and myself revise on things to do during a birth of a baby, feel free to add your own.
1. Lock away any pain killers or any other medicine (if you have them for some reason) so you are not tempted to ease the God given pain.
2. The best locations to have a birth is the bathtub or the porch, as it is a shame to mess up the house through childbirth and if you do do it inside the house, put covers over the floor and objects in the room to keep it as clean as possible.
3. Keep telling yourself to remain silent, remember God gave you these pains and you have no right to whine about it.
Hope this helps

[Felicity]

I cannot wait until I can suffer as punishment for Eve's sins (Genesis 3:16).

My father says it will be a little while before he selects a husband though, so I have to be patient.

[Mrs. Isaac Peters]

Remember, dears: You're unclean after you give birth to a new soldier for Christ and twice as unclean after you give birth to a mere girl baby:

Lev 12:2 KJV - Speak unto the children of Israel, saying, If a woman have conceived seed, and born a man child: then she shall be unclean seven days; according to the days of the separation for her infirmity shall she be unclean.
Lev 12:3 KJV - And in the eighth day the flesh of his foreskin shall be circumcised.
Lev 12:4 KJV - And she shall then continue in the blood of her purifying three and thirty days; she shall touch no hallowed thing, nor come into the sanctuary, until the days of her purifying be fulfilled.
Lev 12:5 KJV - But if she bear a maid child, then she shall be unclean two weeks, as in her separation: and she shall continue in the blood of her purifying threescore and six days.

[Mary Thompson]

Originally Posted by Mrs. Isaac Peters

Remember, dears: You're unclean after you give birth to a new soldier for Christ and twice as unclean after you give birth to a mere girl baby:

Lev 12:2 KJV - Speak unto the children of Israel, saying, If a woman have conceived seed, and born a man child: then she shall be unclean seven days; according to the days of the separation for her infirmity shall she be unclean.
Lev 12:3 KJV - And in the eighth day the flesh of his foreskin shall be circumcised.
Lev 12:4 KJV - And she shall then continue in the blood of her purifying three and thirty days; she shall touch no hallowed thing, nor come into the sanctuary, until the days of her purifying be fulfilled.
Lev 12:5 KJV - But if she bear a maid child, then she shall be unclean two weeks, as in her separation: and she shall continue in the blood of her purifying threescore and six days.

And since I'm soon to be having a boy and a girl, I will be unclean for 120 days!

[Holly Graham]

Sister Mary, I took it upon myself to find birthing advice of a True Christian woman. Here is some basic advice from a place my husband allowed me to peruse:

Acknowledges the God-given value of human life and of the family
Recognizes the spiritual significance of pregnancy and birth
Is based on trust in the goodness of God's own design of the woman's body to give birth
Relies on God's strength and comfort, whatever the circumstances

This site is FULL of good ideas for the True Christian™ woman.

Bless you, Sister Mary, as I know your time of confinement is close!

[Brother Harold Porter]

When Mrs. Porter was expecting my first of four sons, I purchased a small used tent trailer for this purpose. Not wanting to expose myself to any uncleanliness, we moved her in there at the eighth month of the term (just to be on the safe side) and then every year for the next four years. After she was done giving me my children, I called the hazardous materials handling company and had it hauled off.

Highly recommended and I am certain you can find a very inexpensive unit on the Craigs Lists.

In Christ.

[Mary Thompson]

Originally Posted by Brother Harold Porter

When Mrs. Porter was expecting my first of four sons, I purchased a small used tent trailer for this purpose. Not wanting to expose myself to any uncleanliness, we moved her in there at the eighth month of the term (just to be on the safe side) and then every year for the next four years. After she was done giving me my children, I called the hazardous materials handling company and had it hauled off.

Highly recommended and I am certain you can find a very inexpensive unit on the Craigs Lists.

In Christ.

Thank you, Mr. Porter, your advice is much appreciated, I just called up my husband to see what he thought about it and he said we'll just stick to the menstra-hut, but thank you anyway.
God Bless you,
Mary Thompson.

[Sister Saffie]

I'm currently expecting my 7th child. I do feel this child will be the most holy because he is #7 which is God's number after all. I found that I did experience the curse of Eve greatly during the first couple births but my fifth, the experience of childbirth was quick and easy. It was like the were sliding down a water slide. My advice is pray and then pray some more, the excruiating pain is our legacy and we must ask God to have mercy on us. I praise Him in all his Glory for blessing my uterus with bountiful fruit. With 7 kids at age 26, I think I'm on track to have my own tv show someday where I can inspire other Godly women to follow God's command to "be fruitful and multiply" like the Duggars.

[James Hutchins]

For some of you teens who have not yet had the joy of a mess of babies slide out of your loins, he is an unbiased observation from a man.

My wife, Mrs. Hutchins has had many, many children. A a good Christian woman, he has been with child nearly every day of our 39 years of marriage. She tells me nothing gives her more joy than to make a home for her family. This means doing her chores, feeding her family and birthing. She tells me she often has babies while doing the dishes, something about running the kitchen water pump and the sound of water and out the baby comes. So she suggests keeping a towel on the floor and a mop with a bucket handy.
All I know is the damn kids crying interrupt me when I am reading the Bible.

[Brother Larry]

Originally Posted by James Hutchins

For some of you teens who have not yet had the joy of a mess of babies slide out of your loins, he is an unbiased observation from a man.

My wife, Mrs. Hutchins has had many, many children. A a good Christian woman, he has been with child nearly every day of our 39 years of marriage. She tells me nothing gives her more joy than to make a home for her family. This means doing her chores, feeding her family and birthing. She tells me she often has babies while doing the dishes, something about running the kitchen water pump and the sound of water and out the baby comes. So she suggests keeping a towel on the floor and a mop with a bucket handy.
All I know is the damn kids crying interrupt me when I am reading the Bible.

Brother Jim,

I used to work with a guy whose many blessings included 9 children and one was on the way when he told me that his wife bought him noise cancelling headphones in case the kids kept him from sleeping (he had 3 jobs so when he wanted to sleep the last thing he needed was to put up with incessant screaming from nine daughters). I hope his 10th was a boy. If not I'm sure he is probably in a rest home somewhere. One day we were talking about how his wife wanted him to get a vasectomy. He didn't want to do it but she was threatening to refuse marital relations if he wouldn't do it.

Odd, isn't it, how a woman can be so thoughtful (about the headphones) and so stupid about everything else.

And now I'm headed out of this part of the forum so the hens can chatter on about cooking and serving their menfolk.

Manly Chest Bumps,
Brother Larry

[bindar dundat]

Originally Posted by Mary Thompson

2. The best locations to have a birth is the bathtub or the porch, as it is a shame to mess up the house through childbirth and if you do do it inside the house, put covers over the floor and objects in the room to keep it as clean as possible.

My wife had our second child in a nursing pool (essentially a sterile kiddie pool), and found it to be considerably less painful. The warm water eliminated much of the pain and the zero-gravity aspect allowed the child to flow through her birth canal in a more natural way than if she were to be propped up on a table.

[Basilissa]

Originally Posted by bindar dundat

My wife had our second child in a nursing pool (essentially a sterile kiddie pool), and found it to be considerably less painful. The warm water eliminated much of the pain and the zero-gravity aspect allowed the child to flow through her birth canal in a more natural way than if she were to be propped up on a table.

Um, did your wife give birth somewhere in the outer space? Is that even legal?

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Originally Posted by bindar dundat

... the zero-gravity aspect allowed the child to flow through her birth canal in a more natural way than if she were to be propped up on a table.

If that had been what God had intended, the Three Wise Men would have had to wade into the Sea of Galilee.

I expect that the reason your wife stayed alive was that she floated because she is a witch.

[Cranky Old Man]

Originally Posted by bindar dundat

The warm water eliminated much of the pain

You are missing the point of Genesis 3:16 completely! Women are supposed to suffer horribly during childbirth as a well deserved punishment for Eve's sins! That women have to obey their husbands completely is also punishment for Eve's sins. God takes sins, e.g. stealing some fruit from a tree, extremely serious.

Genesis 3:16
King James Version (KJV)

16 Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.

[Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson]

I hope you will forgive me for bringing up an old thread, but how long do you think I will be in labor and out of commission to serving my husband for? I couldn't find any advice on these forums. Thank you so much!

[Jim Farmer]

Originally Posted by bindar dundat

My wife had our second child in a nursing pool (essentially a sterile kiddie pool), and found it to be considerably less painful. The warm water eliminated much of the pain and the zero-gravity aspect allowed the child to flow through her birth canal in a more natural way than if she were to be propped up on a table.

Is she a witch? Are you a warlock? This is a disgusting proposition and can only lead to Hellfire for you and your whole family. I urge that no one uses this sinful method for childbirth. Do not look at the picture below if you are of weak disposition!

• 3 males (other than the baby) are involved in the process. The most that men should have to know about the process is boiling the kettle, and as most men can't perform such a woman's chore - they should be outside smoking cigars.
• The males have become unclean and will remain so for some time. You can see that the younger of the boys is not happy about the situation. His wiccan brainwashing is obviously not yet complete.
• The woman is escaping her biblical punishment.
• Who would allow their new son to be witness to such filth and squalor?
• There is no sign of a KJV Bible in the picture.

The process is just wrong on so many levels.

[Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson]

And why are they nude? Do they have no shame or sense of modesty! "And Ham, the father of Canaan, saw the nakedness of his father, and told his two brethren without. ... And Noah awoke from his wine, and knew what his younger son had done unto him. And he said, Cursed be Canaan; a servant of servants shall he be unto his brethren." Genesis 9:22-25

[Shad and Deb Lamb]

Originally Posted by Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson

And why are they nude? Do they have no shame or sense of modesty! "And Ham, the father of Canaan, saw the nakedness of his father, and told his two brethren without. ... And Noah awoke from his wine, and knew what his younger son had done unto him. And he said, Cursed be Canaan; a servant of servants shall he be unto his brethren." Genesis 9:22-25

Hello, Daughter Johnson:

I have always said there is never a need to be naked - even in the bathtub. I always keep my loins covered and so does Shadrach. I tell you what, when my Naomi Ruth popped out the first thing she did was urinate all over the nurse midwife. When children come into the world, the most important thing to do is pray the blood of Jesus covers them and protects them from possession. Have a Bible in the room with you and put a knife under the mattress or under the bed itself to cut the pain in half. I felt very strongly when I visited you that you are going to pop that child out very soon.

Jesus told me you will bear a son; He also said your baby will have the same hair color as your darling husband. Jesus said, "Elizabeth is going to have a manchild with hair as full and of the same hue as the father." He said, "The manchild will wax strong and bring many souls to me if I don't come back first. I haven't gotten the OK from my Father yet to come, but when He tells me to come, I will." Praise the Lord, praise the Lord!

We love you, our little Lady Johnson, and that big Man Johnson too!

Shadrach and Deborah
Jesus is Coming Baaaack Soon!

[Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson]

Originally Posted by Shad and Deb Lamb

Hello, Daughter Johnson:

I have always said there is never a need to be naked - even in the bathtub. I always keep my loins covered and so does Shadrach. I tell you what, when my Naomi Ruth popped out the first thing she did was urinate all over the nurse midwife. When children come into the world, the most important thing to do is pray the blood of Jesus covers them and protects them from possession. Have a Bible in the room with you and put a knife under the mattress or under the bed itself to cut the pain in half. I felt very strongly when I visited you that you are going to pop that child out very soon.

Jesus told me you will bear a son; He also said your baby will have the same hair color as your darling husband. Jesus said, "Elizabeth is going to have a manchild with hair as full and of the same hue as the father." He said, "The manchild will wax strong and bring many souls to me if I don't come back first. I haven't gotten the OK from my Father yet to come, but when He tells me to come, I will." Praise the Lord, praise the Lord!

We love you, our little Lady Johnson, and that big Man Johnson too!

Shadrach and Deborah
Jesus is Coming Baaaack Soon!

Thank you for the advice, yet I have no plans to cut out the pains of child labor since we women are not supposed to take out the pains of birthing that Eve brought upon us women. I'm so excited that Jesus said my child will be a son...my firstborn. Praise Jesus!

Yours in Christ,
Elizabeth

[Jim Farmer]

Originally Posted by Shad and Deb Lamb

put a knife under the mattress or under the bed itself to cut the pain in half.

What sort of hocus pocus is that? Superstitious wiccan stuff! Pain isn't like a loaf of bread that can be cut with a knife! Where in the Bible does God say that you can cut pain in half with a knife, or a sword, or a dagger?