Do You Worship Satan With Your Lawn??

[Ebenezer Wright]

Friends, We as True Christians™ know that God wants us to lead by example! Do you think God wants us to look sloppy or unorganized? Expecially when dealing with the sensitive issue of lawn care!

James 2:26
For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also.

Proverbs 21:25
The desire of the slothful killeth him; for his hands refuse to labour.

Proverbs 12:24
The hand of the diligent shall bear rule: but the slothful shall be under tribute.


Satanic Lawns:



Nude rumps are NOT Godly!



Gay Bert and Ernie- NOT GODLY! Shows support for homersexual couples!




The example here shows a neat and clean cut yard. But with further investigation, you can clearly see a group orgy(circled in red). And if you look harder you can see the lawn is littered with women's breasts!(circled in green) Disgusting!

A True Christian™ Lawn: I will use my own lawn as an example.



Notice the plush well watered grass. The symmetrical mower lines show that love and care were used to produce this green wonder.

Also notice how my bushes have NOT been trimmed to show perverse acts. In fact I leave them be, to grow as Jesus wants them.

In conclusion, God wants us to show others through our words and actions that we are Christian. Being clean, and showing that we are responsible and hard working are postive things in the Lord's eyes. I know for a fact you are NOT going to convert unbelievers with crab-grass and moles running around your yard.

God does not want us to be lazy hippies!!

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: Do You Worship Satan With Your Lawn??

A True Christian™ Lawn: I will use my own lawn as an example.




Also notice how my bushes have NOT been trimmed to show perverse acts. In fact I leave them be, to grow as Jesus wants them.


God does not want us to be lazy hippies!!

Jesus wants all bushes to be untrimmed Brother? I'm not sure I agree with that. Certainly a bush can be trimmed into something other than an obscene sculpture. We mow our lawns, do we not. What about a heart, or a triangle, or a narrow line, somewhat like a landing strip?

I prefer a well manicured bush to one growing wild and unkempt! It is the hippies that let there bushes grow wild!

[Bob4God]

Re: Do You Worship Satan With Your Lawn??

Indeed, I would think the LORD JESUS would like to look upon a nicely trimmed, modest bush once in a while.

I am often very peculiar about my bushes, and trim, prune and adjust daily to keep them looking their best.

I even help my wife trim hers, and show her what looks best and what looks demonic or animalistic. One time she messed hers up so badly we had to shear it all off and let it grow all over.

[Nobar King]

Re: Do You Worship Satan With Your Lawn??

EW, we've all been concerned about the state of your estate, but it seems like you've gotten everything together, now. I'm glad to see that you are mowing straight lines again.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Do You Worship Satan With Your Lawn??

Indeed, I would think the LORD JESUS would like to look upon a nicely trimmed, modest bush once in a while.

I am often very peculiar about my bushes, and trim, prune and adjust daily to keep them looking their best.

I even help my wife trim hers, and show her what looks best and what looks demonic or animalistic. One time she messed hers up so badly we had to shear it all off and let it grow all over.

How I envy your neatness, I looked the other day and had to remark, “Mrs Bathfire, you have a bush like a fur-trapper’s hat!”

[Glendora Christianson]

Re: Do You Worship Satan With Your Lawn??

I especially hate Cacti. I try not to look at them, but if I see a particularly offensive one, I sprinkle gasoline on it!

[Ebenezer Wright]

Re: Do You Worship Satan With Your Lawn??

Jesus wants all bushes to be untrimmed Brother? I'm not sure I agree with that. Certainly a bush can be trimmed into something other than an obscene sculpture. We mow our lawns, do we not. What about a heart, or a triangle, or a narrow line, somewhat like a landing strip?

I prefer a well manicured bush to one growing wild and unkempt! It is the hippies that let there bushes grow wild!

No worries Brother my statement is confusing as I did not fully explain. As you can see my bushes are not wild and unkempt, hence I have no need to trim them. the good Lord has kept them in a low, clean-looking state. And it doesn't hurt that mine are all very young in age, so they are very small and tame.

To fully explain: If it every got the point where my bushes are making my lawn look tacky, I would have to act and trim them in fear of worshipping Satan with my lawn. Nobody likes a wild bush!

[Ebenezer Wright]

Re: Do You Worship Satan With Your Lawn??

EW, we've all been concerned about the state of your estate, but it seems like you've gotten everything together, now. I'm glad to see that you are mowing straight lines again.

Yes Brother Nobar! I have grown quite fond of my lawn and caring for it.

And when I finish I usually spend some time on my lawn chair to unwind.

[Nobar King]

Re: Do You Worship Satan With Your Lawn??

Here is a neighbor who is just plain lazy. He put the mower out in the spring but never got around to using it. Letting the grass grow this long is a municipal code violation and can result in a 50$ fine for the first violation. Jesus wants us to keep our lawns trimmed and neat!

[NewlySaved]

Re: Do You Worship Satan With Your Lawn??

I applaud neatly kept lawns however it might prove to be especially Christian to shape them into signs of the Lord. What better way to show the greatness of Christianity than magnificently trimmed works of Christian art? On a second note, wouldn't it be awfully Christian of all of us with lawns to employ good, hard working white boys to do God's work? After all many good Christian boys such as myself are forced to collect taxpayer money just to eat because of the greed of certain wealthier types who promote illegal immigration because of its low price? Just think though, for a few more bux not only will your lawn shine with the quality of a true Christian's doing but the money will go to your neighbors kid instead of back to Mexico where it is turned into pot and shipped back to the US by your lawn workers and distributed to your neighbors children turning them into Hippies and Homos. Just think, for a few extra dollars an hour you can teach your poor, White, Christian neighbors boy to be a hard working well groomed Christian rather than a dirty Homo Hippy!