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Default Re: ITT: We pretend to be atheists! - 05-10-2011, 03:49 PM

"Oh, I thought Hell wasn't real! Sorry LORD!"
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Talking Re: ITT: We pretend to be atheists! - 05-10-2011, 11:41 PM

if god was good than why would he let billoins of negras starve to deaht in africah?

(Also: )



Proverbs 23:14- "Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell."


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Default Re: ITT: We pretend to be atheists! - 05-11-2011, 02:39 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tertius The Scribe View Post
if god was good than why would he let billoins of negras starve to deaht in africah?

(Also: )
Wait, so now they're admitting that gravity is just a theory? I really wish they could pick a position.


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Default Re: ITT: We pretend to be atheists! - 05-11-2011, 03:11 AM

Christians believe in a Zombie Jesus. That's Voodoo, baby!


Rev 19:11 And I saw heaven opened, and behold a white horse; and he that sat upon him was called Faithful and True, and in righteousness he doth judge and make war.
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Default Re: ITT: We pretend to be atheists! - 05-11-2011, 05:47 AM

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Originally Posted by Righteous Rider View Post
Christians believe in a Zombie Jesus. That's Voodoo, baby!
In what scripture did Jesus eat brains or walk around like a leprous spasticated retard? Oh yea, He didn't!


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Default Re: ITT: We pretend to be atheists! - 05-11-2011, 12:59 PM

The behavior of Catholic priests completely invalidates the Baptist faith. I'm sure that the Catholic and Baptist faiths are identical, and I'm too lazy to check whether that's true.


This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

Questions to ask liberal "Christians"Things that the Bible doesn't sayTolerance

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Default Re: ITT: We pretend to be atheists! - 05-11-2011, 02:27 PM

The Bible does not say anything about consequences or God's law. The laws are as I interpret them. Because it is socially inconvenient I will never follow the true word.


The best way to turn a dishwasher into a snowblower. . . . .
Give her a shovel.
Proverbs 5:19 A husband's commandment! And wives must comply.
19Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.
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Default Re: ITT: We pretend to be atheists! - 05-11-2011, 04:46 PM

The Bible is just the collected fairy tales of a bunch of nomadic shepherds, and there is no God!

Jesus told you Christians to love everybody, EVERYBODY, no matter what! So go French-kiss your garbageman and let him mount you or you're going to HELL! Which doesn't exist, because there is no God, but you're going there anyway! And this is racist!


Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Default Re: ITT: We pretend to be atheists! - 05-11-2011, 10:35 PM

Lets all talk about logic and Science. We have no proof of bible being 100% true because no one has any factual evidence that god exist.

Being skeptical is the only logical solution!
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Default Re: ITT: We pretend to be atheists! - 05-12-2011, 12:00 AM

I used LendingTree because Landover Bank Rates are TOO HIGH! Blah blah blah...
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Default Re: ITT: We pretend to be atheists! - 05-12-2011, 12:52 AM

Tithing?! Pffft. If God wanted money, He wouldn't give it to me in the first place.


The best way to turn a dishwasher into a snowblower. . . . .
Give her a shovel.
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Default Re: ITT: We pretend to be atheists! - 05-12-2011, 10:59 PM

You Christians don't know what it is to have fun! I am an atheist so I can do whatever I want to. I live my life without regrets. I don't see how you people can go to church on Sundays. It is so pointless.

Now this is my idea of a meaningful Saturday night. Aren't you jealous?


Matt 5:17-20 "Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil. For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled. Whosoever therefore shall break one of these least commandments, and shall teach men so, he shall be called the least in the kingdom of heaven:..."
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Default Re: ITT: We pretend to be atheists! - 12-06-2019, 11:35 AM

I'm so excited thinking what I'll be when I'm reincarnated. Maybe a new species that hasn't evolved yet? It could even be on another planet!
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Default Re: ITT: We pretend to be atheists! - 12-06-2019, 12:35 PM

What an idyllic evening; the sky! An insipid conglomerate of air molecules, light refraction and precipitation willed by the grace of evolution, nothing to do with a Creator at all.
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Default Re: ITT: We pretend to be atheists! - 12-06-2019, 08:29 PM

I am confused. Please explain what "ITT" stands for. (For realz)


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Default Re: ITT: We pretend to be atheists! - 12-07-2019, 12:45 AM

It a phonetic French colloquial term for clown "ITT" sounds like "eet-tee" like 'pitre', which is a clown, which also spells as It, the evil clown, which suggests athiests are really evil clowns.

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Default Re: ITT: We pretend to be atheists! - 12-07-2019, 09:58 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by handmaiden View Post
I am confused. Please explain what "ITT" stands for. (For realz)
Inspiration Through The bible.
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Default Re: ITT: We pretend to be atheists! - 12-07-2019, 07:37 PM

This thread is one of the most exciting in Landover Baptist Church.

We have atheists coming on here constantly who have decided we are atheists masquerading as True Christians. Just in case anyone has been fooled by the skillful writers here, this was our intent. It's call a "hook." Readers are taken in and then converted to Jesus.


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Default Re: ITT: We pretend to be atheists! - 12-07-2019, 07:44 PM

I think that I understand the game now.

So, if I were an atheist, I would believe that education for women will somehow fix the world and solve "problems" such as overpopulation and environmental damage. (whatever that is)


His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.

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Default Re: ITT: We pretend to be atheists! - 12-07-2019, 08:06 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by handmaiden View Post
So, if I were an atheist, I would believe that education for women will somehow fix the world and solve "problems" such as overpopulation and environmental damage. (whatever that is)
Logically speaking we could solve overpopulation today by giving everyone free healthcare and keeping them alive for longer.
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